What do you do if your team is struggling to resolve conflicts and reach consensus?

I find that when there’s conflict between two people of a group, it’s helpful to take a step back (or inward) and become curious. Ask yourself, what is the emotion behind what this person is saying? What is the need behind that emotion? When you open your attention without judgment, and with curiosity, you break free from judgement and this from your own unconscious reactive patterns. Every interaction is fueled by a need for something. every individual is communicating from some kind of emotion and underlying need. when you see this, you can adapt or refine your own communication so the person feels heard, and understood. this compassion will help them, in turn, step of their own reactive patterns.

Una de las actividades que ayuda en este proceso de entender la "causa raíz" es la exploración desde la curiosidad y no desde la culpa. Es importante que se abra un espacio para indagar de manera individual y luego en equipo sobre lo que puede estar generando el conflicto. Entender que el conflicto y todas las causas que habitan en un momento son válidas porque están siendo contadas desde cada una de las historias de cada persona.

Effective emotional management requires a grasp of perception and inner dialogue dynamics. Perception refers to how we interpret the world and greatly affects our emotional responses. Our inner dialogue, comprised of thoughts and self-talk, shapes our interpretations and reactions. By consciously adjusting our thought patterns, challenging negative thinking, and fostering balanced perspectives, we can positively impact our emotional well-being and experience a change in how we feel.

Ciertamente el conflicto puede desencadenar muchas emociones y la invitación es a poder vivir esas emociones de manera individual y luego compartirlas con el equipo para encontrar mayor entendimiento del conflicto y en consecuencia una solución. Los conflictos a diferencia de lo que hemos aprendido no son MALOS, por el contrario nos ayudan a tener una reflexión interior sobre el evento y a conocernos en diferentes circunstancias. Algo importante en la resolución de conflicto es mostrarnos desde la humanidad y no desde el ego. En un conflicto todas las partes tienen el mismo VALOR y DIGNIDAD cuando reconocemos esto entendemos las emociones y las razones.

Coming together for a loving-kindness meditation where we embody emotions of love and kindness for our loved ones and then transferring those feelings to people we may not know that well, helps to reinforce our humanness and kindness for others. This exercise can help teams feel connected and instil positive emotions amongst their colleagues. Bringing team cohesion, patience and general kindness in how we work.

Conflict is a label we give when we dislike something that’s happening and we want something else to happen. To resolve conflict is to resolve your heart and mind. As a leader, in a world that does not teach us this or allows us to practice skillfully with conflict, step one is to ask what’s the weight on each persons heart and mind. Make it visible. Then ask what makes it a weight, why do they hold the current reality and the desires of others the way they do in their mind. What if they held it differently? What if they each were curious about other perspectives? Point the individuals toward a common thread, a higher vision. Acknowledge the fear and desire and use that energy toward a mutually beneficial intersection.

There is a social component to decision making that we mostly sense (or feel) that often precede a conflict and that gets rarely acknowledged explicitly: 1) Are (were) the people with the most relevant knowledge involved in making the decision? Expertise and experience matter to us. 2) Is (was) it fair? Usually, there are people who carry more of the burden following a decision and potentially others whose life got easier in service of an overall better outcome. Is that shift properly acknowledged and supported by actions that compensate for the shift? 3) Are (were) all the people affected by the decision properly represented in the process and their ideas considered relative to the impact?

Start by creating a safe space where each member feels heard and valued, encouraging them to express their perspectives without fear of judgment. Employ active listening, where the focus is on understanding rather than responding. Encourage mindfulness exercises to lower stress levels and enhance clarity. Facilitate solution-focused discussions, steering the group towards common goals rather than individual positions. Highlight the strength in diversity, showing how differing viewpoints can lead to innovative solutions. Remember, resolving conflicts isn't just about finding common ground; it's about weaving a tapestry of collective wisdom that propels the team forward.

Implementing mindfulness techniques, such as mindful communication and conflict resolution strategies, can aid teams in resolving conflicts and reaching consensus. Google's "Search Inside Yourself" program exemplifies the integration of mindfulness practices in addressing team dynamics, emphasizing emotional intelligence training and fostering collaboration. The efficacy of mindfulness interventions can enhance conflict resolution skills and promote harmonious teamwork. By encouraging team members to engage in mindfulness practices like meditation and self-awareness exercises, organizations can cultivate a more productive work environment conducive to effective consensus-building and conflict resolution.

Let go. As a leader, you're not responsible for solving all conflicts and reaching consensus on your own. In fact, sometimes it's better to step back and allow your team to work through issues themselves. This shows trust in their abilities and allows for a more collaborative solution.