What do you do if your salary negotiation is at a standstill?

First question I'd ask myself. Why is my negotiation at a standstill. Is it the right time to do these negotiations, and what happens if I park it for now and how could I create opportunities from this. On the other hand, what happens if I push, and how can I create opportunities from that. Then look at value. Money has value (NOT IS VALUE), time, give and take, flexibility, vacation, secondary perks. In negotiations: it is better to have many kinds of value. Some are better for you, other for the employer. So the more kinds you have, the easier it is to trade without loss. Give what they like and what you want less et vice versa. Compound value parcels that represent the same monetary value. Now you can trade with monetary stability

Compromise is important but carries the risk of experiencing loss. Negotiations are something to feel good about. Of course it can always happen you experience loss, but to concede prematurely is not a good idea. Therefor look at what you call 'compromising' and see if you can redefine this to 'opportunity' and win. One way is to assemble different parcels of items to be traded at equal total sum value. So now compromising is not about losing one thing. It doesn't affect the compounded value of any one combination of items to negotiate about. If employer wants you to compromise on one thing, you can ask them something in return knowing how much value that has. So in this total picture you don't lose. You win. The employer too. Cool!

An example would be what I told my daughter 10 years ago, don’t just discuss it with your boss. They are not the one who will normally approve it, their boss will. Put it in an email, put some praise for your boss about how they have helped you grow and the contributions you have made. Express that you are ready to continue to take on more responsibility and that you believe you deserve a XX% increase. You want something that is easily forwarded to their boss for approval. I have always told her, you don’t get what you deserve, you get what you ask for. She got the raise and promotion.

I take a step back to reassess and strategize. I remind myself that negotiation is a dance, not a battle. I seek to understand the other side’s constraints and concerns, asking open-ended questions to uncover any underlying issues. I reiterate my value, highlighting my contributions and potential impact, backed by data and examples. If direct salary increases are off the table, I explore alternative compensation, such as bonuses, benefits, or professional development opportunities. I stay open to creative solutions that meet both our needs. Throughout, I maintain a positive, collaborative tone, emphasizing my interest in a mutually beneficial outcome.

Look at these negotiations as an intriguing puzzle. Don't let it determine your sense of self. Negotiations can be successful or go south. For the larger a lot of stuff that happens is beyond your control. If you don't get what you want, or if you lose the job, that is not the end of your life. Other opportunities will arise. Paradoxically, sometimes winning higher positions, or gaining more money can mean a negative effect on quality of life. Get to know thyself. Relax. Breathe. Learn to play the field. That is the best investment you can make.