What do you do if your feedback isn't motivating and inspiring?

When feedback feels uninspiring, it's important to first reflect on your approach. Are you truly listening to the recipient’s perspective, or just focused on delivering your message? Motivational Interviewing underscores the value of empathy and understanding. If your feedback isn’t resonating, reassess whether you’re genuinely acknowledging the recipient’s feelings and viewpoints. Feedback should be a two-way conversation where understanding precedes being understood, allowing for more personalized and effective guidance.

In my experience, using open-ended questions has transformed feedback sessions from one-sided lectures into collaborative discussions. In one particular case, instead of telling a team member what they did wrong, I asked, "What were your main challenges in this project?" This question opened a dialogue about their struggles and allowed us to explore solutions together. It turned a potentially defensive conversation into a constructive one, helping us both understand the root issues and work on them as a team. This approach not only improved the immediate situation but also strengthened our communication and trust long-term.

In my practice, I've seen how emphasizing what someone does well, rather than just focusing on areas of improvement, can significantly boost their confidence and motivation. For instance, when working with a client struggling with team interactions, I began our sessions by highlighting their ability to manage tasks efficiently and their detail-oriented work. This not only made them feel valued but also demonstrated my belief in their capabilities. This approach encouraged them to engage more openly in discussions about interpersonal skills, as they felt more secure and supported in their strengths. This positive reinforcement inspired them to strive for improvement in a balanced and healthy way.

Active listening is crucial, especially in feedback scenarios. I remember a session where instead of simply delivering feedback, I focused intently on listening to a client's concerns about their role. By nodding, maintaining eye contact, and summarizing their points, I demonstrated that their perspective was important. This approach eased their defensiveness, opened them up to my feedback, and fostered a more productive dialogue. They felt understood and valued, which made them more receptive to the feedback and more motivated to act on the suggestions provided. Active listening not only builds trust but also enhances the effectiveness of the communication, making it a powerful tool in any interaction.

Summarizing discussions effectively is a key skill in providing impactful feedback. For example, at the end of a challenging project review with a team, I made it a point to summarize the key achievements and the areas needing attention. This helped ensure that everyone understood the conversation: what was done well and what could be improved. I highlighted their innovation in problem-solving and commitment to deadlines, and suggested more focus on inter-departmental communication for future projects. This summary not only reinforced their strengths but also set a clear, constructive path for growth, keeping the tone positive and forward-looking. It's a strategy that has consistently helped in keeping feedback motivational and productive.