What do you do if your emotions are overwhelming you in a high-pressure consulting situation?

It is indeed important to recognise triggers - and also be open to reflect on the unseen experiences & fears which may be causing them to act as triggers. It is critical in consulting to not let your personal emotions come in the way of your clients' emotions & expressions.

When pressure mounts and emotions bubble over, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Here are some suggestions that could help: Hit Pause: Sometimes, the best move is to step back. Take a 5-10 minute walk, meditate briefly, or take five mindful breaths. Think of it as a quick reset. Write It Out: Once you’re more centred, jot down what you’re feeling. Imagine you’re advising a friend—this shift in perspective can turn the problem into something manageable. Prioritise & Conquer: With a clearer mind, get strategic. Identify what needs attention first and tackle tasks one by one. Reflect & Grow: After the situation passes, reflect on what triggered those emotions. This insight will strengthen your emotional resilience for the future.

One thing I've found helpful in high-pressure consulting situations is recognizing emotional triggers. Identifying what sets off intense emotions, such as challenging client interactions or unexpected setbacks, is crucial. For example, during a project with tight deadlines, I acknowledged my feelings of stress and analyzed why they were so strong. This self-awareness enabled me to address the root cause and develop strategies to stay calm and composed. Embracing this aspect of emotional intelligence has been key to maintaining my effectiveness under pressure.

In my experience, it's essential to consistently engage with your emotions, regardless of challenging professional situations. This is the only way I can truly understand which emotions are stronger and which are less prominent in me, and more importantly, who or what has the power to trigger certain emotions within me. As a result, even in unfamiliar and challenging situations, I can quickly identify what is triggering my emotional response.

In high-pressure consulting situations, I find that staying focused on the task at hand helps manage overwhelming emotions. I prioritize tasks to keep everything organized and break down large projects into manageable steps. Taking short breaks and practicing deep breathing also helps clear my mind. I communicate openly with my team and seek support when needed, ensuring that we address any issues together. Reflecting on past successes and keeping a positive mindset further helps me stay resilient and maintain my composure.

One technique I've found effective when overwhelmed by strong emotions is to pause and breathe deeply. This simple act can slow down your heart rate and clear your mind, providing a break from the intensity. Deep breathing is a well-known stress management technique that signals your body to relax. For instance, during a high-stress client meeting, I took a moment to breathe deeply, which helped me regain control and return to the discussion with greater focus and composure. Incorporating this practice has been invaluable in maintaining my emotional balance.

What really helps me is to remind myself that the situation primarily relates to my professional role, not to me as a person. This usually relieves a significant amount of pressure. Additionally, I ask myself how someone who isn’t emotionally involved might assess and handle the situation. Finally, I think of the benefit that I can take from this experience for future challenges.

One approach I've found transformative is reframing my perspective in high-pressure situations. Viewing these moments not as threats but as challenges and opportunities for growth can significantly alter your emotional response. For example, during a particularly stressful project, I shifted my mindset to focus on what I could learn and how the experience could enhance my professional development. This cognitive reframing turned my anxiety into excitement and determination, transforming overwhelming emotions into a powerful source of motivation.

Here's the thing – the work to avoid this situation is something you should have done beforehand. If you haven't, the best way to deal with it short term entails taking a deep breath whenever you get emotionally triggered, and calm your emotions before talking or replying to anything. The other thing is relying on friends or a team. Talk to them and ask them to help you find a way out or see the situation from the client's perspective. Finally, once you fix this in the short term, take care of the long term by seeking a mentor or even therapy.

Support from an outside perspective can be incredibly valuable for gaining a different view of the situation and figuring out possible next steps. For this, I’d recommend, if possible, talking to someone outside the company who can reflect on the situation and my emotional response objectively and without any bias.

Seek support, but seek it from people who you know will respond positively. I recall as a young executive approaching the Vice President for support. Unfortunately he wasn't very supportive. That rankles even today.

In my opinion, there will always be challenging situations and difficult clients; that’s something I can’t control. What I can control, however, is how I handle these situations. I can choose how much power I give external circumstances or other people over my thoughts and emotions. To do this, it helps to be clear about my own values, so I can set boundaries based on them. Additionally, as mentioned earlier, it’s important to regularly engage with my emotions. If all else fails, I believe it’s wise to think about whether the environment and perhaps even the role of a consultant truly align with who I am.

In my experience, our own expectations can be the biggest challenge. It helps to regularly ask myself what I can and want to achieve, and what else matters to me besides work. What activities outside of my job bring me joy and energy, and how can I make sure to schedule them regularly instead of just relying on weekends or vacations for recovery.