What do you do if your clients are struggling with difficult or challenging feedback situations?

My first advice is to view feedback as a gift, albeit sometimes wrapped in less-than-pleasant packaging. It's an opportunity for growth and improvement. Take a step back and approach the feedback with curiosity rather than defensiveness. Asking clarifying questions can help understand the feedback's intent and specifics, making it more actionable. It's also important to reflect on the feedback, identifying any truths or areas for improvement. Develop a plan to address the feedback, which might include setting specific goals, seeking additional training, or adjusting their approach to work. Practicing gratitude, even internally, for the chance to grow can also shift their perspective on receiving feedback.

In my experience as Executive Coach and HR, emotions can be very frequent along with feedback, evenmore if feedback is judgemental and non fact based. Deepening inside the emotions of the coachee and inside his current perspective of the feedback can be extremely useful. Beeing resilient in asking open questions to explore deeply the sensations generated by the emotionn (embodiment) generally unlocks a new perspective for the coachee.

In my practice, I start by creating a secure, private, and non-judgmental environment where clients can freely express their emotions. Next, I help clients recognize that it's normal and acceptable to feel emotions in response to feedback. This acknowledgment fosters a sense of validation and diminishes any stigma associated with expressing emotions, enabling clients to approach their feelings constructively. Finally, developing self-awareness empowers clients to comprehend their reactions and devise effective strategies for managing their emotions during challenging circumstances.

It is impossible to be "excellent" without also being controversial. Carl Rogers wrote this in his memoirs. So, not all problematic feedback is the same as negative feedback! It is also true that the possibility of being "completely wrong" increases with our level of experience because, with increasing experience, we venture into riskier endeavours. Critical feedback then helps us push our learning further. And that's how we should receive it.

A book that has really helped me is Mo Gawdat's "Solve For Happy." In this book he talks about how you are the observer... kind of like playing a video game in third person. As a coach when you see your coachee who is emotional, remember that you are observing how they are processing their emotions. You can't change how they feel, but you can ask the right questions to help them process what they are feeling. This "ovserver" mentality helps you not have so much weight on your shoulders, and provide better coaching.

When coaching leaders using a 360 assessment (I am Leadership Circle Profile practitioner), after debriefing results, I suggest the leaders to reach out to some of the evaluators to get deeper understanding. This has been useful for them: 1. Stand in an apprentice posture. you ask to learn therefore don't justify any behaviour or situation discussed with the people. 2. Ask open, non-directional questions. Don't try to get the answer you want; ask questions that inform you about how you are perceived. 3. Ask for examples of what you did, your impact on others and how they felt. 4. Don't try to correct yet. Use the information to do a deeper reflection about yourself and your mindsets.

As a coach we cannot give them clarity. We can help them to gain clarity by asking some triggering & powerful questions which will help the client to think deeper & get their own awareness. Here, the client will see the feedback in a positive way & leverage the feedback into action areas. This will help them to frame their strategies & improvement plans as well

Nem sempre as pessoas aceitam feedbacks de maneira positiva, o primeiro passo é ter clareza se o feedback que foi recebido é genuíno e faz sentido com rela??o as atitudes de quem recebeu. Passada essa primeira fase de analise se o feedback é correto ou n?o, o proximo passo é entender o ponto de melhoria, tra?ar a??es consistentes e com data para acontecer e monitorar o avan?o das atividades. Marcar uma reuni?o de retorno depois de algum tempo para que líder e liderado possam conversar sobre as mudan?as que decorreram após a reuni?o inicial. E entender se o avan?o foi o esperado ou se é necessário que mais a??es sejam implementadas para chegar ao ponto desejado.

Um Klarheit über die Botschaft zu bekommen, hilft das 4-Ohren-Modell von Schulz von Thun. Danach kann das Feedback vom Empf?nger verstanden werden als: a) als Sachinformation (worüber informiere ich Dich) b) als Selbstkundgabe (was gebe ich von mir zu erkennen) c) als Beziehungshinweis (was halte von Dir) oder d) als Appell (was will ich von Dir) Je nachdem mit welchem Ohr der Empf?nger die Botschaft h?rt, l?st sie unterschiedliche Emotionen und Reaktionen aus. Eine Fehlinterpretation kann zu einer ungewollten Eskalation in der Beziehung führen. Insofern ist es sinnvoll zu reflektieren, mit welchem Ohr man es selbst geh?rt hat, um dann beim Feedback-Geber nachzufragen, wie es gemeint war. Oft hilft dies, um die Gemüter zu beruhigen.

Before acting, reflect on the mindset that produced the impact you gathered from your conversations. Challenge those mindsets and define an action plan. The best way to act is to design experiments to test what you learn. In the beginning, try easier experiments, and as long as you incorporate learnings, increase the level of challenge of those experiments. Conduct the experiments with an apprentice attitude. You start acting by learning, and then it becomes part of you.

Making plans is easy but implementation of those plans become a challenge for many. To make the plans work, we need to help the client to make some actionable plans which should be realistic, time driven & evaluation methods as well. Otherwise the best plans will also become a failure. The actionable plans will help the client to reflect more & give them confidence that they can achieve it.

Are you listening to understand or to respond? Communication is twofold, and essentially, listening is the key. I encourage my clients to actively listen to feedback, focusing on understanding the message rather than immediately formulating a response. Active listening involves paying attention to both verbal and non-verbal cues, seeking clarification when necessary, and demonstrating empathy towards the feedback provider. Lastly, I coach clients to respond to feedback with empathy and understanding, acknowledging the perspective of the feedback provider and validating their feelings. This helps to build trust and rapport, fostering constructive dialogue and creating an environment conducive to open and effective communication.

( * if necessary translate it) A pratica do dialogo, implica em colocar-se no lugar do outro e lidar com o contraditório buscando uma zona de interesse em comum. Já passou a época do ciente que era facilmente persuadido por um "compre já". Isso tem despertado cada vez mais avers?o. A intera??o coerente respeitando as demandas do cliente é encantadora e promove as vendas.

If feedback is taken as a Feed-forward, then the communication will become effective. Feed-forward helps in using a better choice of words, being ground, rational & purposeful. If the issue or the message is taken without the individual's ego or emotions, then it is easy for the leader to move forward & have a better communication both internally and externally.

Feedback is a gift that triggers a learning process. It is important that the client understands this. Therefore, a curious, learning mindset is critical to starting the process. Working with the client on learning techniques that work for him/her is a way to build resilience. Moreover, it complements the curious, learning mindset. It is important to always help the leader tie any plan to their vision. Remembering their goals as leaders is key to strengthening resilience.

Resilience comes with experience & not by age. I have personally seen young people being resilient & experienced (in age) being less resilient. By facing more challenging situations & events, people become resilient. If people run away or escape from problems, they can never be resilient. By being resilient, it helps the individuals not only to handle the present situation but they become stronger to face future challenges as well.

A resiliência é uma das competências mais importantes no ambiente profissional e com certeza no social também. Precisamos ajudar os clientes a desenvolver e praticar a resiliência, ainda mais em situa??es de feedbacks críticos para que eles possam se desenvolver e crescer na carreira profissional.

El feedback es funcional y productivo cuando tiene un encuadre adecuado. La concepción tradicional de feedback positivo y negativo, conlleva muchas veces conflictos para comunicar y dificultades para escuchar y asumir. Desde mi experiencia de a?os, he desarrollado una metodología superadora: el Feedback de Alineamiento. Mueve a las personas y los problemas del foco de atención y lo desplaza hacia lo importante: los objetivos. Implica una modalidad particular desde el líder, y pone como prioridad la consecución de metas y, por lo tanto, en las acciones que hay que implementar para alcanzar los objetivos en forma exitosa. Supone una co-creación de iniciativas constructivas y fomenta la sinergia.

If the client is ready to move on to an action, we could discuss a potential plan for implementing the feedback, learning points, skills, or abilities. Or how could they be better in handling difficult feedback or how they could provide one?

Dar feedback tem pre?o; n?o é grátis. Para fidelizar as rela??es de compra e venda é preciso confiar. A confian?a vem de uma rela??o coerente entre as partes. Dar e receber feedbacks é um dos pontos mais sensíveis. Na nossa experiência deve ser feito de uma forma acolhedora e geradora de valor para ambos: quem vende precisa dar facilidades a quem compra para ele dar feedback. O feedback é parte da venda e como ptal dar desconto, promo??o, etc., e faz pare do processo de fideliza??o.

Feedback is not a debacle. If it is taken in a proactive & rational way, it is a beautiful learning. All we need here is the "Growth ?? Mindset". If people are going to see the emotional side of it, then they will get redundant & stationed at one single place & moving forward would be next to impossible. But progressive people take this feedback as a learning aspect & they move forward with their goal & continuous improvement.

I would ask clients to take time to reflect - our immediate reactions to feedback will differ after having had the necessary time to process. Additionally, I would highly encourage clients to discuss the feedback with trusted colleagues, mentors, and confidantes - coaches have biases, and we don't always get it right. Triangulating feedback with other sources who know us well, to validate, discuss and reflect further, will only strengthen the quality of the entire feedback process, and lead to further personal and professional growth.

Un ejercicio muy poderoso es llevar al directivo a una visualización de posiciones perceptivas para comprender la posición de ese detractor. Llevarlo a una posición en la que el feedback que ha recibido atiende el "Hacer" y no " El Ser" Esto esmuy importante porque desde el "hacer" entendemos que las retroalimentaciones no son personales sino profesionales.

First the awareness of feedback should be given to everyone. Feedback is not for showing our vengeance or irritation on others or by being honest & hurting someone is not feedback. Feedback should be more of Progress driven No blame games No emotional torture Not talking about the past Goal & result driven Making others comfortable Using a better choice of words These are a few important aspects for giving better feedback.

Clients don't always get upset about negative feedback. Most of the time, it's about how it's delivered to them. If it's unexpected or from someone they deeply care about, it can be not easy to receive. Recently, a client told me they received feedback from a senior director that they should stop doing so much and participate in fewer projects. After reflecting on the limited feedback, we agreed that perhaps the VP wanted to suggest that they delegate and give opportunities to others to take on tasks while the client should focus more on leading and less on managing. However, the best way to know the VP's intentions is to ask them directly.

The best feedback is usually challenging. Why? Because it requires us to change something and usually something we’ve been unaware of. Helping people understand feedback as data, helping people then decide on whether the data is helpful and relevant or not and then choosing how to act on it, is what will remove the initial feelings of challenge.