What do you do if your career is lacking emotional intelligence?

Boyatzis' "Intentional Change Theory" argued that the first step for improving EI is to visualize your ideal self. In other words, imagine your life in 10-15 years if you succeed in improving your EI? But the 2nd step is equally important - understanding your "real self" by getting an honest assessment of your current EI. A good place to start is by asking close friends who love you enough to tell you the truth. However, since your friends are probably not experts in EI, I encourage you to get a professional EI assessment. There are many to choose from, but I prefer the EQi 2.0, which is based on Reuven Bar On's model because, in my experience, it presents the most holistic approach to EI growth.

Boosting your career's EI involves honing empathy, self-awareness, and communication. Deepen this by integrating existential and spiritual intelligence. Reflect on your work's deeper purpose and how it aligns with your values, fostering a connection to something beyond the immediate. Challenge yourself with meditation, journaling, and seeking out thought-provoking experiences that push your understanding of your place in the professional world. This multifaceted approach not only elevates your career but also enriches your personal development, setting you apart in today’s competitive landscape. Embrace this journey for a truly transformative professional life.

Opportunities for guidance in EI abound, such as classes, workshops, support groups, and simply asking people with effective EI habits how they do it. But in my (admittedly biased) opinion, getting a well-trained EI coach is the most cost-effective way to enhance your EI. As an EI coach, I have witnessed the growth of my clients and the amazing life changes that resulted, including job promotions, career shifts, saved marriages, and increased happiness. But I've also seen it from the other side - my EI coach, Barry, helped me identify my current EI reality and worked with me to develop a plan to capitalize on my strengths and grow in my weaknesses. I'm a more effective leader at work and a better husband and father at home as a result!

Ask for feedback from colleagues, managers, and clients to understand how your emotional intelligence is perceived and where you can improve.

Start by understanding your emotions and how they impact your behavior. Reflect on what triggers them and work on managing your responses to align with your goals. Journaling, mindfulness exercises, or talking with a trusted friend can provide valuable insights. When interacting with others, practice active listening, empathize with their perspectives, and pay attention to verbal and nonverbal cues. Seeking feedback and reflecting on interactions can enhance social awareness and relationships.

Personally, one of the most important steps for growth in my EI skills in my multicultural environment has been to cultivate a habit of curiosity. One team that I led included people from seven different countries with four different native languages. Cultural misunderstandings and conflicts were regular events. As I grew in my own EI and learned to lead with curiosity rather than judgment, I became more effective at guiding the team through those cultural minefields into trusting and respectful team relationships. I also discovered that as I modeled curiosity for my team, they grew more curious themselves, and the team relationships (and effectiveness) flourished.

A great exercise to engage with Emotional Intelligence in your professional life is undergoing an exercise to evaluate your givers and your takers. Givers are those parts of your work that invigorate you, helping you to be more effective and innovative. Takers are the elements of your career that weigh on you, leaving you feeling drained and defeated. Once you’ve identified each of these, think about their impact on your work and interactions with colleagues. How can being more self-aware of your givers and takers lend itself to you showing up more effectively with empathy? Which givers will you make more room for in your work engagements? What can you do to cultivate resilience to better cope with takers?