What do you do if your assertiveness is tested in a data engineering team conflict?

In my opinion, it is important to handle the situation diplomatically and effectively. Some points must be taken into consideration to better navigate the conflict: Maintain composure and avoid reacting impulsively or emotionally to the conflict, Practice active listening to understand the perspectives of all parties involved in the conflict, Assertively express your own points of view , opinions and concerns regarding the conflict, Look for areas of agreement or common ground among team members, Offer constructive solutions or compromises that address the underlying issues and help resolve the conflict, and Use the conflict as an opportunity for learning and growth .

As data engineers we must develop soft skills, remember that when working with data, pressure and integrity are essential, however there may be situations in which things fail, such as data sources, data pipelines, etc. That is why we must know: 1. the end-to-end flow of data, this allows us to have a broader conversation and identify potential points of failure and anticipate the conversation before being challenged. 2. Constantly work on developing "emotional intelligence" so that it allows us to have challenging conversations with more demanding forums.

In a heated debate about implementation strategies, I remain composed and refrain from personal attacks. Instead, I focus on the technical merits of each approach, fostering a respectful atmosphere conducive to productive discussion.

Assertiveness does not equate to rigidity, particularly within the dynamic realm of data engineering where shifts in information swiftly alter the terrain. One should remain poised to adjust their position in light of newfound data or alternative viewpoints. Demonstrating a readiness to embrace change not only fosters personal growth but also cultivates an environment where others are more inclined to embrace innovative ideas.

I wouldn't focus on preventing conflicts. Conflicts and disagreements are helpful. I would focus on the way the team works through conflicts ensuring it's productive. You want people to feel valued and respected even when you disagree with them.

I wouldn't ever frame something as your assertiveness being tested. You don't want to be in a fight or flight position psychologically - which is what “testing assertiveness” might trigger. If the meeting has escalated, table the topic and return to it in a few days. If you can't table it, then have each person write out their positions and then come back later that day to discuss. The writing process does wonders for clarity in the author's and meeting attendees' minds.