What do you do if your assertiveness is being undermined in a leadership role?

When your assertiveness is undermined, it may not only be your assertiveness. There might be a deep-rooted problem that may be extrinsic or intrinsic. Do a quick examination - Is it a communication problem, or is someone insecure? Does this happen too often? Have you sought enough feedback? Remember - As a leader, you cannot take it personally nor show a lack of emotional quotient. Be calm and stoic about this. Invest in communication, ask for advice from other leaders you admire, discuss it with a mentor, and seek help if needed. Do not ignore this, but perhaps also talk it out if it's a one-off thing with one person.

In my experience “Stakeholder mapping” helps understand and prioritize interventions! Every stakeholder can be mapped with motivation and support dimensions. Knowing individual aspirations , challenges and influence can be critical to gain assertiveness !

Asserting yourself as a leader requires ongoing effort. To navigate this challenge, focus on the issue's impact, not the person. - Lead by example, confidently expressing your opinions and setting expectations. - Build a supportive team environment where open communication thrives, reducing intentional undermining. - Recognize and praise team members who demonstrate healthy assertiveness. - Sometimes, direct but respectful confrontation might be necessary. If the above steps don't solve the issue, consider a private conversation to address it head-on. You can effectively navigate this challenge and establish yourself as a confident and respected leader by being adaptable and following these strategies.

Identify the source and root cause of this issue. You need to communicate clearly after understanding the reasons of the issue. We have to set boundaries and work on perceptions of our team. It is also advisable to have 360 feedback and ask for your mentors support. Life is all about a continuous learning journey and being agile.

To bolster assertiveness, pinpoint who challenges it and their motives. Could be a colleague, subordinate, client, or stakeholder seeking power, influence, or grappling with dissatisfaction. Identify if their actions stem from insecurity, misinformation, or confusion. Recognizing these factors aids in crafting a precise response and maintaining professionalism without internalizing the conflict.

Clearly communicate your expectations, decisions, and boundaries to your team and stakeholders. Use assertive communication techniques to express yourself confidently, directly, and respectfully. Clearly articulate your perspective, needs, and concerns, and encourage open dialogue to address any misunderstandings or conflicts that may arise.

When expressing your thoughts, ideas and expectations as a leader, it's very important to do it in a self-assured and considerate way. ? Address the issue directly: Communicate your concerns and assert your leadership authority. ? Seek feedback: Gain insights into how your assertiveness is perceived to identify areas for improvement. ? Lead by example: Demonstrate assertiveness through actions and decision-making to establish leadership authority and earn respect. ? Build confidence: Strengthen your assertiveness in leadership situations by practicing assertive communication techniques. ? Seek support: Seek guidance from a mentor, coach, or trusted colleague. ? Balance assertiveness with firmness and respect in leadership.

When your assertiveness is being undermined it is important to address the situation proactively and communicate. Express your expectations for the team, their boundaries and the team's goals. Be strong with what you want and expect and express your desire for the team to work collectively for a common goal. Having open and honest conversations one-on-one can be helpful to understand their perspectives. This can allow your team to feel their leader values and respects them. Set boundaries with the team of how you expect to be treated as a leader. Being assertive in enforcing the boundaries throughout the organisations. Your leadership is respected and appreciated when you are an assertive leader and a supportive environment is created.

Avoid passive or aggressive language. State goals and opinions confidently, providing evidence to support your points. Listen actively, acknowledging others' perspectives without unnecessary apologies or agreement. Effective assertiveness balances self-expression with respect for others.

Avoid passive or aggressive language. State goals and opinions confidently, providing evidence to support your points. Listen actively, acknowledging others' perspectives without unnecessary apologies or agreement. Effective assertiveness balances self-expression with respect for others.

As a leader, setting boundaries is an essential part of being assertive. Define your values and priorities: Before setting boundaries, it is important to define what matters most to you. Clarify your values, beliefs, and priorities to establish a clear sense of personal boundaries. Communicate your expectations: When setting boundaries, it is important to communicate your expectations. Clearly defining what is acceptable and what is not will give you more confidence when dealing with difficult situations. Be firm but respectful: Assertiveness is about being firm but respectful. Don’t be afraid to state your boundaries firmly, but avoid being confrontational or aggressive. Strive to be calm, rational and professional .

Establish clear boundaries to protect your time, energy, and authority as a leader. Be assertive in asserting your boundaries and enforcing them consistently with team members, colleagues, and stakeholders. Clearly communicate your availability, workload, and priorities, and be firm in defending your boundaries against any attempts to disregard or undermine them.

Before setting boundaries you have to understand the room and people. Be empathetic to all in the rokm, give people space and use the time that gives you to process your thoughts. Remove the noise and leave only the core thought. Then, assertiveness is a given.

In my experience, in this type of situation, seeking support from an external person is the best option. If you receive feedback that you are not engough assertive, it may affect in your self-confidence. Seek support from a professional coach or mentor.

Seek support from mentors, colleagues, or HR professionals who can provide guidance, advice, and encouragement in navigating challenges related to assertiveness in your leadership role. Share your experiences and concerns with trusted individuals who can offer perspective, validation, and support, and collaborate with them to develop strategies for addressing the issue effectively.

Remain open to feedback, constructive criticism, and alternative perspectives, while staying firm in your convictions and assertiveness. Be willing to adapt your approach as needed to accommodate changing circumstances, feedback, or stakeholder expectations, while maintaining clarity, confidence, and assertiveness in your leadership style.

Assertiveness in leadership isn't about being inflexible. It's the art of being open to adapting your approach, tone, and style to suit the situation and audience without compromising your goals. It's how you build trust, prevent conflict, and find mutually beneficial solutions. This adaptability is key in handling change and the unknown, turning challenges into opportunities for growth. Stay assertive, but with the agility to shift as needed—this is the essence of resilient leadership.

Flexibility in a leadership role, especially when your assertiveness is challenged, involves adapting your approach while maintaining your objectives. It means listening actively to feedback and being open to alternative solutions that align with your team's goals. Flexibility allows you to adjust your strategies based on team input, fostering a collaborative environment. However, it's essential to balance flexibility with decisiveness, ensuring that adaptability does not come at the expense of clarity and direction. This approach enhances team cohesion and strengthens your leadership by demonstrating responsiveness to the team's needs and the dynamic nature of challenges.

The blurred line between friend and boss can often be the source for why your assertiveness is being challenged… When you hire a friend to do that job, he will be less willing to make sure his assignments are on time, etc. But when you hire an enemy to fulfill that role, he will go above and beyond to prove himself. Don’t ask me about the psychology behind that, but read into Robert Greene’s wisdom on the matter. In order to regain that sense of authority, you’ll have to decide what’s more important to you; often, you’ll need to become a challenging force to that situation. Machiavelli writes that it is better to be feared than loved… so, ensure that you set a reputation of command and respect from the start and maintain it.

Continuously develop and refine your assertiveness skills through ongoing learning and self-improvement efforts. Seek out opportunities for training, coaching, or personal development that can help you enhance your communication, negotiation, conflict resolution, and leadership skills. Stay informed about best practices, research, and trends in assertive leadership, and apply new insights and techniques to strengthen your effectiveness as a leader.

Being open to feedback is a part of the learning process. Even if your assertiveness is being undermined, a leader can use this as an opportunity to build good will with the opposing party by seeking to understand the cause of it. There is a good chance the person on the other end is bias or has boundaries preventing them from being open, and having a feedback conversation may provide insight into that. This will help inform the communication strategy that is needed to make progress. Some people do not respond well to direct or assert communication, and so this would be a good exercise to learn to pivot communication style, turning the frustrating situation into a learning opportunity for yourself.

Understand what has created the situation and be really curious as to why, then learn fast as needed and establish clear boundaries and expectations going forward so that you position as leader is strengthened not weakened.

Self-reflection: Assess if there are any reasons why your assertiveness might be perceived negatively. Reflect on your communication style and how you interact. Address the Issue Directly: If you notice specific instances where your assertiveness is being undermined, address them directly and assertively with the individuals involved. Build Relationships: Strengthen relationships with your team members by showing genuine interest in their perspectives and concerns. Building trust and rapport helps mitigate resistance to assertiveness. Consider Cultural Differences: Be mindful of cultural differences that may influence perceptions of assertiveness. Adapt your approach to accommodate diverse cultural backgrounds within your team.

Consider the broader organizational context and factors that may influence your assertiveness in a leadership role. Evaluate whether there are systemic issues, cultural norms, or power dynamics within the organization that may contribute to the undermining of assertiveness among leaders. Advocate for changes or interventions at the organizational level to promote a culture of respect, empowerment, and accountability that supports assertive leadership and fosters a positive and inclusive work environment for all team members.

Leading assertively doesn't mean being aggressive. It's about confidently communicating your ideas and expectations while respecting the perspectives and contributions of others. By following these steps and continuously honing your communication skills, you can effectively navigate challenging situations and maintain your leadership presence.

I’ve found it useful to look inwards and being self-aware because “who we are is how we lead”. Assertive people are great listeners and maintain a strong balance between for eg: 1: having a big heart vs. making tough decisions 2: acknowledging the paranoia around change vs. being optimistic in the face of it 3: short term thinking vs. long term outcomes etc.. When people see how you balance the tightrope between thought and action gracefully, they sit up and listen. You then never ever have to deal with your assertiveness being undermined. Needless to say, being confident in your ability to lead helps immensely.