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What common mistakes ruin your rapport with clients?

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As a vocal coach, you know how important it is to establish trust and rapport with your clients. Rapport is the feeling of connection, understanding, and harmony that you create with your clients, and it can make or break your coaching relationship. Rapport helps you to communicate effectively, motivate your clients, and foster their confidence and growth. However, rapport is not something that you can take for granted. It requires constant attention, effort, and awareness. In this article, we will discuss some common mistakes that can ruin your rapport with your clients, and how to avoid them.

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Rakesh Lazar, MBA, PCC

Raised from Failures | Author of "Difficult Conversation Guide" | Thinking Partner for Leaders- Communication…
Monika Miedzianowska

Zangcoach | Muzieklerares | Oprichter van MKA Music | Zangeres

1 Being too rigid or too flexible

One of the biggest challenges of vocal coaching is finding the right balance between being too rigid or too flexible with your clients. If you are too rigid, you may come across as authoritarian, inflexible, or insensitive. You may impose your own agenda, style, or expectations on your clients, without considering their needs, preferences, or goals. You may also create a tense or stressful atmosphere, where your clients feel pressured, judged, or criticized. On the other hand, if you are too flexible, you may come across as unprofessional, inconsistent, or unclear. You may lack structure, direction, or boundaries in your coaching sessions, and allow your clients to take over, procrastinate, or deviate from their goals. You may also create a passive or indifferent atmosphere, where your clients feel bored, confused, or unmotivated. To avoid these pitfalls, you need to find a balance between being too rigid or too flexible, and adapt your approach to each client's personality, learning style, and objectives. You need to establish clear and realistic goals, expectations, and feedback mechanisms, but also be open to suggestions, feedback, and adjustments from your clients. You need to be firm but supportive, assertive but respectful, and confident but humble.

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Monika Miedzianowska

Zangcoach | Muzieklerares | Oprichter van MKA Music | Zangeres
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A person that sings a long time has absorbed certain manners in their voice. These are not always bad: it could be an intended “crack” in their voice, lots of vibrato or a certain way of closing each verse. Advanced singers may object if their teacher tries to work with them on limiting these aspects, as many of them think that this is where their originality appears. It is important to inform a student about your observations, tell them that you will teach them other ways, but at the end it will be their decisions if and how they will use it. Vocal coach’s task is to give all the tools vocal tools, but it should be always up to the student whether they use it or not.

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2 Not listening or not speaking

Another common mistake that can ruin your rapport with your clients is not listening or not speaking enough. Listening and speaking are both essential skills for vocal coaching, as they enable you to understand your clients, convey your messages, and build rapport. However, some vocal coaches may fall into the trap of not listening or not speaking enough, depending on their personality, style, or situation. If you are not listening enough, you may miss important cues, signals, or information from your clients. You may interrupt them, talk over them, or ignore them. You may also make assumptions, judgments, or interpretations without checking with them. This can make your clients feel unheard, misunderstood, or disrespected. If you are not speaking enough, you may fail to provide adequate guidance, instruction, or feedback to your clients. You may be too quiet, vague, or ambiguous. You may also withhold your opinions, insights, or suggestions for fear of offending, imposing, or dominating your clients. This can make your clients feel lost, frustrated, or insecure. To avoid these mistakes, you need to practice active listening and effective speaking skills. You need to pay attention, ask questions, reflect, and summarize what your clients say, and show empathy, interest, and curiosity. You also need to express yourself clearly, concisely, and confidently, and share your knowledge, experience, and perspective.

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Rakesh Lazar, MBA, PCC

Raised from Failures | Author of "Difficult Conversation Guide" | Thinking Partner for Leaders- Communication Confidence & Personal Mastery | HR Business Consultant
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If you feel the need to prove your knowledge/worth, it can quickly take you off track from active listening as you will mostly be waiting for a chance to jump in! My mentor once said- “As a Coach, you are paid to hold back your words (opinions/perspectives). The less you speak, the more you get paid”.

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Monika Miedzianowska

Zangcoach | Muzieklerares | Oprichter van MKA Music | Zangeres
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I experienced many times an opposite situation: many beginning students don’t want to listen explanation of the exercise, or guidance. Sometime they interrupt me showing them the proper sound of the exercise, thinking they get it already, when of course they didn’t. They act like they don’t pay me for talking nor singing for them. I explain to these students that it is extremely important not only to know what to sing, as of what tones, but to know how to sing, as of what type of voice you should aim for, how your face you should look like, etc. I try patiently explain that if they come to my class and just sing without me talking or showing them with my voice, their progress will just not be there.

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3 Not respecting or not challenging

A third common mistake that can ruin your rapport with your clients is not respecting or not challenging them enough. Respect and challenge are both important elements of vocal coaching, as they help you to create a positive and productive coaching relationship. Respect means that you value, appreciate, and acknowledge your clients as unique and capable individuals, and that you treat them with dignity, honesty, and professionalism. Challenge means that you encourage, inspire, and push your clients to stretch beyond their comfort zone, and to achieve their full potential. However, some vocal coaches may err on the side of not respecting or not challenging their clients enough, depending on their attitude, intention, or outcome. If you are not respecting your clients enough, you may disrespect their boundaries, preferences, or opinions. You may also underestimate their abilities, potential, or achievements. You may also be rude, arrogant, or condescending. This can make your clients feel offended, belittled, or demoralized. If you are not challenging your clients enough, you may overprotect, pamper, or praise them. You may also avoid giving constructive criticism, feedback, or suggestions. You may also be complacent, lenient, or indulgent. This can make your clients feel complacent, stagnant, or unfulfilled. To avoid these mistakes, you need to balance respect and challenge in your vocal coaching. You need to show respect by being courteous, attentive, and supportive, and by honoring your clients' choices, values, and goals. You also need to show challenge by being honest, direct, and constructive, and by providing your clients with opportunities, resources, and incentives to grow, learn, and improve.

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4 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Janice De Silva

Musician. Teacher. Designer. Writer.
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As a client, all too often I have service providers tell me what I want because they think I am too stupid, and too female to know what I want. Needless to say, I never use them again. On the other hand, as a vocal coach, my clients and I have been together for years, because they know they can count on me to be on the journey with them and treat them as equals.

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What common mistakes ruin your rapport with clients?

1

2

3

4

1 Being too rigid or too flexible

2 Not listening or not speaking

3 Not respecting or not challenging

4 Here’s what else to consider

Vocal Coaching

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What common mistakes ruin your rapport with clients?

1

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3

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1 Being too rigid or too flexible

2 Not listening or not speaking

3 Not respecting or not challenging

4 Here’s what else to consider

Vocal Coaching

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