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What are the best strategies for negotiating with someone who is not interested in a win-win solution?

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Negotiating with someone who is not interested in a win-win solution can be frustrating and challenging. You might encounter such a person in your personal or professional life, who is only focused on their own interests and does not care about yours. How can you deal with this situation and still achieve a satisfactory outcome? Here are some strategies that can help you negotiate effectively with a win-lose opponent.

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1 Identify their motives

The first step is to understand why your counterpart is behaving in a win-lose manner. What are their goals, needs, fears, and values? What are they trying to gain or avoid by being competitive and aggressive? By asking open-ended questions and listening actively, you can gain some insight into their motives and perspectives. This can help you find some common ground or leverage points that you can use to influence them.

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Usman Ali Khan, CSCMP

Supply Chain Team Lead - Descon | x Haier | Mech Engineer | MBA in Operations & Supply Chain | Vendor & Contract Management | CapEx | Negotiation | SAP ERP Specialist | Consumer electronics | EPC | Oil & Gas
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Listen them well. Priorize their points under the umbrella of logic and facts. Make them believe you will be heard well and try to convince the point of ONE TEAM because this is the only tunnel where they don't want to be left behind when we patronise ONE TEAM as everyone feel appreciated when we count them in ONE TEAM logic.

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Lauren Ashley (Minor/Youman), CPC

Heart-Centered Community Builder for Women | Master Customer Relationship Manager | Storyteller | UX Strategist | Certified Professional Coach I Co-Host of the “In Transition” Podcast ???
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Start by acknowledging and validating the view points or opinions. All humans desire these two things. From this space you can likely open up a more productive dialogue and ask them to expand their stance a little by asking thought-provoking questions. Also asking them to imagine an alternate scenario and how it would feel, might be another way to find some common ground.

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2 Prepare your BATNA

Your BATNA, or best alternative to a negotiated agreement, is your fallback option if you cannot reach a deal with your counterpart. It is important to have a clear and realistic BATNA before you enter a negotiation, as it can help you set your minimum acceptable offer and walk away point. Having a strong BATNA can also increase your confidence and bargaining power, as you can show your counterpart that you are not desperate or dependent on them.

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3 Use objective criteria

One of the challenges of negotiating with a win-lose person is that they might make unreasonable or arbitrary demands, or reject your offers without justification. To avoid getting into a deadlock or a haggling game, you can use objective criteria to support your position and evaluate their proposals. Objective criteria are external standards or benchmarks that are fair, reliable, and independent. For example, you can use market rates, industry norms, expert opinions, or legal precedents to justify your requests and challenge theirs.

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4 Focus on interests, not positions

Another challenge of negotiating with a win-lose person is that they might take a rigid or extreme position that leaves no room for compromise or collaboration. To overcome this obstacle, you can try to shift the focus from positions to interests. Positions are what people say they want, while interests are why they want it. By exploring the underlying interests of both parties, you can discover the hidden needs, concerns, and preferences that drive their behavior. This can help you create value and find solutions that satisfy both sides.

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Lauren Ashley (Minor/Youman), CPC

Heart-Centered Community Builder for Women | Master Customer Relationship Manager | Storyteller | UX Strategist | Certified Professional Coach I Co-Host of the “In Transition” Podcast ???
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Getting to motive can be extremely valuable. Some people can be extremely rigid because they simply want to win, but when you explore motive you can often get beyond the win and explore why winning is so important.

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5 Manage emotions

Negotiating with a win-lose person can be emotionally draining and stressful. You might feel angry, frustrated, or intimidated by their tactics and attitude. To cope with these emotions, you need to manage them effectively and avoid reacting impulsively or defensively. You can use techniques such as breathing, pausing, reframing, or empathizing to calm yourself and reduce tension. You can also express your emotions constructively and assertively, without blaming or attacking your counterpart.

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Lauren Ashley (Minor/Youman), CPC

Heart-Centered Community Builder for Women | Master Customer Relationship Manager | Storyteller | UX Strategist | Certified Professional Coach I Co-Host of the “In Transition” Podcast ???
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I find that even naming the emotion you are feeling in the moment can be highly effective at avoiding an full blown argument or heavy tension. If you’re feeling defensive, name it and ask for clarification. We often jump to conclusions without having all the information we need to fully understand the other person’s vantage point.

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6 Build rapport and trust

Finally, negotiating with a win-lose person can be easier and more productive if you can build some rapport and trust with them. Rapport is the feeling of connection and harmony that you establish with another person, while trust is the belief that they are honest and reliable. You can build rapport and trust by using positive body language, showing respect and appreciation, finding commonalities, and sharing some personal information. By doing so, you can reduce hostility and suspicion, and increase cooperation and openness.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Emilio Canet

Sales Manager Europe at Avient Corporation
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For obvious reasons, I only try to negotiate in win-win environments, moreover when probably the only things at stake are goods & money. I would accept as concept the win-lose situation when negotiating with hostages(never split the difference, sounds familiar?) or fighting in the coliseum, which fortunately none of those are going to happen. I would say It is related to empathy and not being comfortable with sociopaths.

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What are the best strategies for negotiating with someone who is not interested in a win-win solution?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Identify their motives

2 Prepare your BATNA

3 Use objective criteria

4 Focus on interests, not positions

5 Manage emotions

6 Build rapport and trust

7 Here’s what else to consider

Interpersonal Communication

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What are the best strategies for negotiating with someone who is not interested in a win-win solution?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Identify their motives

2 Prepare your BATNA

3 Use objective criteria

4 Focus on interests, not positions

5 Manage emotions

6 Build rapport and trust

7 Here’s what else to consider

Interpersonal Communication

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