What are the benefits of listening before speaking when influencing others?

Listening allows you to understand the viewpoints, needs, and motivations of others. In complex and fast-paced business environments, comprehending these aspects is crucial for tailoring your influence strategies effectively. People are more likely to be influenced by someone they trust and feel understood by. Listening intently demonstrates respect and consideration for the speaker, laying the foundation for a trusting relationship.

Listening before speaking when influencing others offers a powerful advantage: it allows you to delve into their worldview and perspective. This insight becomes your strategic tool, enabling you to tailor your approach effectively. By aligning with their values and goals, you not only resonate more deeply but also foster genuine connection and trust.

By listening attentively, you can gain valuable insights into the other person's perspective, build rapport, and demonstrate empathy. This helps in understanding their needs, concerns, and motivations, enabling you to tailor your message effectively. Moreover, active listening fosters trust and mutual respect, leading to more meaningful and productive interactions. Embracing this approach allows you to make informed decisions, find common ground, and ultimately influence others positively. Practice patience, focus on understanding, and engage fully with the speaker to harness the power of listening in your influencing efforts.

To enable (active) listening, it is helpful to prepare a list of questions you may want to ask during your conversation. This way, you are less dependent on spontaneous questions and you are also able to ensure a proper sequence of the questions.

When someone has finished speaking you want to make sure you express you are understanding what they have told you. You may want to repeat back what you heard. This is really useful to make sure you are both on the same page. You might say something like, "It sounds like (Insert what you think you heard from them.) Did I get that right?" If someone feels unheard they are more likely to go into rambling monologues and repeat themselves

Influencing others requires cognitive agility, quickly integrating what you are hearing to optimize what to say next. You might find tangents, connections or overlapping themes to connect your message with what they shared or create points of relatability. They might signal that they don’t understand yet, and you need to clarify further before moving on. “Calling back” is a skill where you reference points from further back in the conversation or remind them of what they agreed to already as you proceed in making your case. These skills signal that you aren’t just listening, you are connecting. Connection requires trust and listening is a powerful skill that helps build trust, develop rapport, and makes people feel valued.

By asking open-ended questions, you not only obtain valuable information (e.g. about the other party's needs, goals and requirements), but also provoke commitments from your counterpart. In this way, you can utilize the consistency principle of persuasion, which describes the human tendency to appear consistent in one's actions, decisions and statements over time. Example (from a seller perspective): Asking a buyer about the customer's sustainability strategy can provide valuable information and commitments (e.g. only carbon-neutral suppliers), which sellers can then use to accentuate their own offerings and prevent the buyer from comparing it with to those of other suppliers (e.g. non-carbon-neutral companies).

Ensuring you leave time to reiterate and confirm agreement on commitments and next steps. Ensure the timeframe for following up are acceptable to all parties and fight any any urge to overcommit to unrealistic dates or deliverables. You can quickly lose the trust you are building by missing important next steps. If you can, follow up with a note that reiterates key points and next steps. Invite feedback or further insight as some people’s opinions take longer to form, or they might not feel safe sharing their opinions in real-time.

By listening to diverse perspectives, you gain a broader understanding of the situation, leading to more informed and nuanced decision-making. This is particularly beneficial in leadership, where decisions often have wide-reaching impacts. Listening opens up avenues for learning from the experiences and expertise of others. This continuous learning is crucial for personal development and staying effective as a leader in evolving industries.