How do you use questions and listening to coach better?

I learned a long time ago from one of my early mentors that questions invite the other person to move toward you, while statements, opinions, and so-called "facts" can push the other person away. This has proven out again and again in my experience. Using genuine curious inquiry in coaching allows the client's learning and self-awareness to grow. In session, remaining focused, attentive, and thoughtful allows us to ask exactly the best questions for the client to experience transformation (rather than information); and to see for themselves a new perspective. This is an art and a practice and it does take professionalism to be effective. When done well - a single session can be worth a year, and can be life and career changing.

I've found that questions open doors to dive into the answers clients offer with deeper questions and reflections. Providing a psychologically safe and intellectually humble environment increases the opportunity for the client to offer vulnerable responses, which is where the real opportunity for growth, insight and transcendence to a new living awareness can occur.

Asking powerful questions encourages deeper thinking, self reflection & exploration. To assist the client to arrive onto the answer themselves various kinds of questions can be used. For instance Challenge Questions- What evidence you can provide to facilitate this belief of yours or Action oriented Questions-What small steps can you take today towards your goal? Active listening is of paramount importance to build a rapport with the client. I always paraphrase & summarize to ensure accuracy of understanding for both the coach & the client.

A few points to note when coaching - Use unconditional positive regard - Asking open ended questions - Follow up with "share with me more on your thoughts", "tell me more" and keep expanding from their answers - Paraphrase back on what was shared to show understanding - Ask them for possible outcomes and solutions - Worst case scenario, most likely scenario and best case scenario - Summarize on a positive note at the end

In my practice I often use the phrase "I'm curious...." I think that sets up the question that follows as not having judgement and keeps the client open to more dialogue.

One of the important practices for a coach as I've learned in 20+ years of practice, is the pause button; being present and still, open to the inner prompts of the next question rather than a prescriptive pattern that becomes repetitive and loses capacity for deeper inquiry, perhaps. The questions provided here are great to weave the poignant prompts in with the flow of the conversation. Some coaches are more intuitive than others naturally, so that's a bonus.

Powerful questions come from a space of having no agenda for the coaching session. Powerful questions are created when the coach is in a space of real presence- a space of deep curiosity and inner connection. Deep questions come naturally from this deeper intuition and trust.... Powerful questions are sometimes challenging, break the mind patterns and start creating insights and new possibilities/perspectives for the client. As a coach you are able to ask powerful questions when you are in a space of no judgment and inner peace. Some examples of deep questions may be: Who are you, beyond your fears and limitations? What do you really, really, really want to create/be in life? Who do you want to become ?

There is no magical list of powerful questions. However, there are few guidelines, how you can create a powerful question: 1. Ask questions with no agenda..Let them come from your listening and curiosity. 2. Make your questions open ended (not a yes / no question or the question itself does not imply a specific answer). 3. Make your question short and concise, one by one (sometimes asking "why" for several times in a row is the most powerful question).

Questions are the most powerful tools available to mankind, they activate the prefrontal cortex, a region of the brain which is associated with higher order thinking, decision making, problem solving & self awareness. Open ended questions in particular prompt individuals to think deeply, explore possibilities & draw connections between various concepts.

I find it is important to not be too prescriptive with questions and meet the client where they are and allow a natural flow of conversation. Otherwise it's not a deep conversation, it's more of an interrogation. And I go into every coaching session by 1st being fully present myself and curious and ready to actively listen and pay close attention to client's words and emotions, with no judgment. And start with: 1.Open-Ended questions 2.Aligning questions with client's goals/objectives 3.Encouraging clients to explore their thoughts and feelings further 4.Challenging their assumptions and limiting beliefs 5.Encourage clients to envision their desired future 6.Follow up to delve deeper into client responses for better understanding, etc.

As a highly sensitive and emotional person I really have to work on my "poker face." I need to be aware that as I listen to the words, body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice that I don't betray anything I may be uncomfortable with that my client is saying. Pausing and breathing help me to do this.

Deep listening is a real gift in today's world. Deep listening helps you to get insightful, fresh perspectives, far beyond the client's words.... Deep listening is healing and opens not only the mind, but also the heart, really connecting people at the human level.

Not only is it important to actively listen to the client, reflecting to make sure communication is understood, it's also paying close attention to the micro-expressions. Another aspect to consider is the impressions received, reflected and reviewed within the coach's sensory capacity and recognizing how the client may be experiencing those same sensations. This process is a deeper 'listening' that is developed with intent and practice by the coach, like a self-improvement program of our own. It's not a one-way conversation; the coach is growing, too.

Deep listening gives the client a feeling of being seen, heard, and accepted. This can be a healing experience. Creating safe and confidential space is part of successful coaching where active listening matters.

Active listening is not just about hearing words but about understanding the deeper layers of your clients' thoughts and emotions. If you want to be a great coach, who is able to really help your clients, you need to master the ability to be an active listener first. It requires being fully present and listening with no judgment. It's about reading in between the lines and hear the unspoken. Active listening allows you to then progress in your coaching relationship and: build trust and empathy, connect deeply with clients, tailor your coaching approach, and empower the client to then self-reflect and start taking aligned and intentional steps to reach their goals.

1. Limit all the distractions (digital, physical), so that you can fully focus to the other person. 2. Be open minded and curious. Put aside your biases. Ask yourself: what biases I might have about the person / the situation? Notice the biases (maybe even write down), put them aside, and listen from a "clean perspective" without any agenda. 3. What I can hear beyond the words? Listen to context and energy. What is he / she saying with the gestures, speed, voice tone?

I've found it incredibly useful to attentively listen with my ears, simultaneously visualizing the content of the other person's speech in my mind. Similarly, I listen with my body, which entails sensing and observing the sensations their words evoke in me. I avoid crafting responses in my mind while they're speaking.

In my experience keeping the beginner’s mind while listening to the client helps me a lot. Also verifying my understanding from the client’s words help both of us to build the rapport.

Be present is the best way to listen actively, be at the moment and do not distract you with anything, also be self-aware of your own thoughts and do not even permit them to be involved in the conversation.

What I would add is the miracle of silence. As coaches, we need to learn to be comfortable with silences and give all the space for the client to say out loud those thoughts that are the hardest to express and face with them.

I’ve found that my highly sensitive and emotional personality helps me in coaching others. It is a characteristic that I used to be ashamed of in a world that is very logical. But it is a strength in coaching. Being comfortable with other’s emotions and allowing them to express them through whatever form, for example, crying, is a strength in coaching. So often individuals want to help a person STOP crying, and that may be our first instinct. But letting the client know you are comfortable with their emotions and asking them curious, nonjudgmental questions about those feelings can create a real breakthrough for them. Feeling accepted as they express themselves creates a safe space for them to process and move in a positive direction.

Some pitfalls are listening 'for something' and creating meaning while listening. This signifies that we've ceased genuine listening and entered our thoughts. True listening is rooted in curiosity, allowing the client to gain deeper insights into their experiences and explore them. And this requires enough space to notice.

Active listening is not just about hearing words but about understanding the deeper layers of your clients' thoughts and emotions. If you want to be a great coach, who is able to really help your clients, you need to master the ability to be an active listener first. It requires being fully present and listening with no judgment. It's about reading in between the lines and hear the unspoken. Active listening allows you to then progress in your coaching relationship and: build trust and empathy, connect deeply with clients, tailor your coaching approach, and empower the client to then self-reflect and start taking aligned and intentional steps to reach their goals.

I'm in agreement with Carolyn's insightful reveal. A highly sensitive person who's done their work is much more available to facilitate the safety and vulnerability in accepting 'what is' in the moment and not trying to change it. The latter become a push/pull of energy that is a disservice to the process of moving through a transformation. Circumventing it only causes further delay in the process. Sure, it's a challenge to be stalwart and compassionate simultaneously. The client is able to feel safe in their vulnerability as they explore their sense of self and connection to their mission and vision in life. Now, more than ever, courage is essential to move beyond the constrictions of old belief systems and paradigms.

Yes! Zen’s use of the word “courage” is spot on- I see my clients as so BRAVE as they work to create a better life for themselves. It can be hard but so incredibly valiant to work with a life coach. When I encounter resistance in a client, I try to build them up and tap into the fact that they have embarked on a hero’s journey. It helps to consistently remind them of how proud they should be of themselves.

Working on understanding human nature and behavior can enhance how well you listen. If your not trying to solve your own understanding while attempting to give attention to others. It will serve them better. When someone doesn’t listen well, it’s not because they aren’t capable. It’s because they are adding to it. You can’t listen more skillfully. You listen or you do not.

Coaches often have other things on their mind, too, so taking some time to center and eliminate distractions is important. If we're not fully present in the session, how can we expect our clients to join us there? We live half inside and half outside, bereft of the inner experience for the most part. It's the inner experience of the client that will allow their success to emerge in their outer lives, relationships and work at any level of profession or personal endeavor. They need to be comfortable talking about it, which means the coach needs to be as well. It's often left out in the coaching process. Be bold, explore, you both win.