How do you understand and address your relationship partners? This is a crucial question for business relationship managers (BRMs), who are responsible for building and maintaining strategic partnerships with internal and external stakeholders. In this article, we will explore some of the tools and techniques that BRMs can use to assess and improve their relationship skills.
The first step to understanding and addressing your relationship partners is to know who they are, what they need, and what they value. You can use various methods to gather this information, such as surveys, interviews, workshops, or observation. You can also create profiles or personas for your key partners, highlighting their goals, challenges, preferences, and expectations. Knowing your partners will help you tailor your communication, collaboration, and value proposition to their needs.
In my very early career I was once told 'you were given one mouth and two ears, use them in those proportions'. Truly great advice for understanding anyone or situation.
To me it's really important to discuss; clarify and determine how each party can assist the other, and in what capacity. As a Branch Manager in the finance industry, I was determined to work closely with other business partners in our organisation. This lead to regular monthly meetings; agreeing commitments; following up on lead generation and outcomes etc. Open and honest feedback was always appreciated, and lead to stronger relationship bonds, and increased business for all. Overall, communication is key in anything and everything!
One thing I have always practiced as part of my strategy is " responsiveness and communication" This can be a simple hello in a whole busy day or a full day engaging interaction on any task or query.
There must be meeting of the minds. This forms the bedrock of any form of synergy between my partners and I. The 4 year partnership I had with Totalenergies on empowerment of MSMEs was a success because we both wanted to create an ecosystem, where businesses will no longer be dependent on oil producing companies but become self-sufficient. This serves as a catalyst to fast track any project and creates satisfaction for both partners.
It always takes two to tango. Smooth movement can only be achieved if : both are open and transparent, have common goals and clear key performances and shared key responsibilities, they are not necessarilly to have similiarity but rather compimentary towards each other. The essential ingredient will always be the people on both sides. From top management down to the employees engaged. Such colaborative activities must take places regularly that involved critical decision making artificialy driven by both top management over and over again so that both teams works as one.
The second step to understanding and addressing your relationship partners is to establish trust and rapport with them. Trust is the foundation of any successful relationship, and it requires honesty, transparency, reliability, and respect. Rapport is the connection and mutual understanding that you develop with your partners, and it requires empathy, active listening, and feedback. You can build trust and rapport by being consistent, supportive, responsive, and respectful, and by showing genuine interest and appreciation for your partners.
Here's the thing: trust and rapport are important in any relationship, but aren't those two built on a foundation of accountability? Coming from a Service Delivery background, it's about showing up and being prepared to make that difficult call or meeting. Whatever the sector customers accept things go wrong otherwise, for delivery, why would the ITIL lifecycle exist? It's about how you manage the expectation that builds trust and rapport, leading to offering value and isn't that what it's all about?
People take decisions on others very quickly and rightly or wrongly, this is how we are designed. Even the most open minded and professional of us will form unconscious biases in seconds. A University of York study concluded that this could be within the first 33-100 milliseconds, that is quite literally a glance! Its so important to be yourself and if you are not, others will see through this pretty quickly and potentially form a much longer lasting biases. My advice is, be yourself and let others understand how you work (and work best). This way you'll be consistent and predictable to your relationships, driving trust and confidence.
Establishing trust and rapport is a given with any relationship building - be it business or personal. Having a similar end goal (eg wanting the best options for our clients) is a key area to connect with. Setting clear expectations with each business partner, and sticking to these assists in building continuous rapport and repeat business.
The third step to understanding and addressing your relationship partners is to align your objectives with them. Alignment means that you share a common vision, purpose, and direction for your partnership, and that you agree on the roles, responsibilities, and expectations of each party. Alignment also means that you align your value proposition with your partners' needs and outcomes, and that you demonstrate how you can help them achieve their goals. You can align your objectives by using tools such as business relationship agreements, value maps, or roadmaps.
Aligning your objectives is paramount in a partner relationship. At the end of the day, they're trusting you with one of their clients, so you need to deliver - and vice versa. Being clear about this at the onset makes it an easier process. Both parties need to understand WIIFM (what's in it for me) from everyone's perspective - not just each business partner, but clients included.
The fourth step to understanding and addressing your relationship partners is to manage conflicts and expectations that may arise in your partnership. Conflicts are inevitable in any relationship, and they can be caused by different perspectives, interests, or styles. Expectations are the standards or assumptions that you and your partners have about each other's performance, behavior, or results. You can manage conflicts and expectations by using skills such as negotiation, mediation, problem-solving, or compromise. You can also use techniques such as setting SMART goals, clarifying roles and boundaries, or providing regular feedback.
COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE! Agree expectations on timeframes for contact; follow-up procedures; feedback options etc. Doing this upfront can assist in minimising conflicts and staying within expectations. When issues do arise, treat each other respectfully - listen, and work out ways to avoid a recurrence. At the end of the day, each party wants what is best for their business and their customer.
The fifth step to understanding and addressing your relationship partners is to nurture and grow your relationship over time. Nurturing means that you maintain and strengthen your trust, rapport, and alignment with your partners, and that you provide ongoing value and support to them. Growing means that you seek new opportunities and challenges to enhance your partnership, and that you adapt and innovate to changing needs and circumstances. You can nurture and grow your relationship by using methods such as relationship reviews, recognition, rewards, or referrals.
Connect on both a business and personal level. Understanding who you are working with, helps nurture and grow your business relationship. Provide praise and reward as you see fit. Don't take anything for granted. Even go a step further and provide great feedback to your business partner's manager. They, too often, hear of the not so good stuff, and not nearly enough of successes.
The sixth step to understanding and addressing your relationship partners is to evaluate and improve your relationship skills. Relationship skills are the abilities and behaviors that enable you to interact effectively and positively with your partners. They include communication, collaboration, influence, emotional intelligence, and cultural awareness. You can evaluate and improve your relationship skills by using tools such as self-assessment, feedback, coaching, mentoring, or training. You can also use models such as the BRM competency model or the relationship maturity model to identify your strengths and areas for improvement.
I always love this question. There really isn’t any silver bullet here. The relationship of partners (in all walks of life) is based on relationship. That relationship is based on trust and loyalty. Like a house foundation so must be the foundation of a strong mutually beneficial relationship. A partner relationship is about give and take. In a sense you are always negotiating to get to a spot where everyone wins. “Partners” are two or more people who share common interests and goals. Lead with the end in mind, be respectful and act with integrity.
Surprises and Acts of Kindness: Surprise your partner with thoughtful gestures and acts of kindness to show you care. Forgiveness: If mistakes happen, be forgiving and understanding. Holding onto grudges can harm the relationship.