How do you stay professional when dealing with difficult people?

1 Identify the source of difficulty

The first step to staying professional is to understand why someone is being difficult in the first place. Is it because they are stressed, frustrated, insecure, or have different expectations? Or is it because they have a personality clash, a hidden agenda, or a personal issue? By identifying the source of difficulty, you can avoid taking things personally, empathize with their situation, and adjust your approach accordingly.

2 Choose your battles wisely

The next step is to decide whether the issue is worth addressing or not. Sometimes, it may be better to ignore minor annoyances, such as a sarcastic remark or a passive-aggressive email, than to escalate the conflict. Other times, it may be necessary to confront the problem, such as a disrespectful behavior or a violation of boundaries, to protect your interests and rights. When choosing your battles, consider the potential consequences, the importance of the relationship, and the likelihood of resolution.

3 Communicate calmly and respectfully

The third step is to communicate with the difficult person in a calm and respectful manner. Avoid raising your voice, using harsh words, or making personal attacks. Instead, use a neutral tone, clear language, and constructive feedback. Focus on the facts, not the emotions, and state your point of view, needs, and expectations. Listen actively to their perspective, acknowledge their feelings, and ask questions to clarify any misunderstandings. Try to find common ground, compromise, or agree to disagree.

4 Set boundaries and limits

The fourth step is to set boundaries and limits with the difficult person. Boundaries are the rules and standards that define how you want to be treated and what you are willing to accept or not. Limits are the actions and consequences that you will take if someone crosses your boundaries. For example, you may tell your boss that you need a reasonable deadline for a project, and that you will not work overtime without compensation. Or you may tell a client that you will not tolerate abusive language, and that you will end the call if they continue.

5 Seek support and advice

The fifth step is to seek support and advice from others who can help you deal with the difficult person. This may include your supervisor, your co-workers, your friends, or your family. You can vent your frustrations, share your experiences, and ask for their opinions and suggestions. They may offer you a different perspective, a useful strategy, or a valuable resource. They may also provide you with emotional support, encouragement, and validation.

6 Take care of yourself

The sixth and final step is to take care of yourself and your well-being. Dealing with difficult people can be stressful, exhausting, and draining. It can affect your mood, your motivation, and your health. Therefore, it's important to practice self-care and cope with the negative effects. You can do this by relaxing, exercising, meditating, or engaging in hobbies that make you happy. You can also seek professional help if you feel overwhelmed, depressed, or anxious.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?