How do you match and mirror your cold calling style?

A few things I will always find helpful start with knowing who one is calling and the nature of that particular business. May sound like common sense, but it is not. Be strategic and authentic as well. Reading from a script sounds like selling insurance and will make the lead bail on the conversation before any kind of value proposition can be delivered.

Mastering cold calls involves mirroring your prospect. Listen for their pace, tone, and vocabulary. Subtly reflect these back, speaking faster if they do or using formal language if that's their style. This builds rapport and creates a comfortable space to uncover their needs and address any concerns. Remember, it's a dance, not a copy. Stay genuine and use mirroring to connect for a more successful call.

For me, matching and mirroring is a way to make others feel comfortable by naturally aligning with their communication style. It’s about listening closely and adapting my tone, language, or energy level to theirs. For example, during a call with a high-energy client, I matched their enthusiasm, which helped us connect quickly. It’s not about imitating, but creating a smoother, more relatable conversation.

Neutrality is key. Every cold call should be delivered with a pretty matter-of-fact neutral tonality. That way you don’t overwhelm very quiet prospects…and…you don’t underwhelm the extroverts you’ll inevitably get to speak to. Like a good batsman on the cricket pitch. You prepare for every type of bowling. But you never raise your bat until you know where that ball will be going. Never gushing. Never overtly friendly. Curb your enthusiasm. Plenty of time for that, once you know what type of person you’re dealing with. Stay neutral. Stay attentive.

One thing that I have found helpful is to listen closely and not just to answer, but to replicate the tone in which the prospect is exhibiting in the initial exchange. This will involve gently inserting certain questions during a brief pause in order to use the most appropriate and correct rebuttle.

Tonality and volume are the key. When the prospect picks up the phone, they'll have a certain tone (e.g. direct, soft, happy etc), and your intro should be similar. The same applies to the volume, if they're shouting in the car, ensure you're on par.

I learned the hard way the importance of matching your prospects voice and urgency. I made a call once to a decision-maker and finally got through. He greeted me curtly and said he's incredibly busy and had people in his office. I didn't want to get flustered and ditch my script, so I decided to plow right through my opening question only to be interrupted by my now annoyed prospect. In sales, you don't want to respond in kind to people's disruptive emotions or lose control of the conversation, but you need to be prepared to condense your message if you're met with urgency. What's been the biggest help for me is preparing my elevator pitch in case I sense my script is too long for the prospect's available time.

For me, adjusting how I speak to match a prospect’s tone and pace helps build a connection. If they’re relaxed and speak slowly, I do the same. If they’re more energetic, I match that too. For example, I had a client who spoke calmly and softly, so I made sure to keep my voice gentle and unhurried, which helped us click better. It’s a small adjustment that makes conversations flow more easily.

A great example here is to watch their hands and body positioning. Are they relaxed or too tense? Then by using an alternative body position, it shows recognition, but does not come across as aping or being to obvious.

When I'm in a conversation, I find that matching my prospect's body language really helps build rapport. For instance, if they sit up straight and are animated, I make sure to reflect that energy instead of slouching. If they gesture while they speak, I use my hands too to show that I'm engaged. I remember one time, a client was smiling and nodding, so I did the same, which created a positive atmosphere and made the conversation more enjoyable. Aligning body language helps both of us feel more connected.

I’ve found that syncing my breathing with my prospect’s is a subtle yet powerful way to connect. If they breathe slowly and calmly, I mirror that to help create a relaxed atmosphere. For example, during a conversation with a client who was a bit anxious, I matched their steady breathing, which seemed to help calm them down. This simple adjustment makes the interaction feel more harmonious and comfortable for both of us.

I previously worked as a mortgage loan officer, and it taught me about matching and mirroring prospects today. Explaining a loan program to an elderly woman in TX, for instance, was different than explaining the same loan to a young man in NJ. Perhaps the older borrower prefers patience, a slower delivery, more emotional inflection in tone, and painting a picture by telling a story; but the younger borrower prefers concise speech, matter-of-fact delivery, louder inflection, and no fluff. I research the prospect ahead of time, and imagine them in the room with me when on the phone. How would they be standing or sitting based on their tone? Do they sound relaxed or rushed? Formal or casual tone? Then, I mirror the behavior. It has helped!

The best place to start is in your normal life. Start by mirroring the most important word in the sentences of your friends and relatives. Follow up by adapting to their tone. You'll have longer and better conversations.