How do you manage unrealistic vocal coaching requests?

I think its super important to remember that every singer starts with the basics. I tell my students we ALL begin with "classic basic" which is my own silly term for a very simple, unaffected style of singing. We are simply singing without any vibrato, no scooping- sliding, poppy sounding affectations. Since we all start there? There are no unrealistic expectations for sounding like Beyonce or Taylor Swift. But this is really important. I can't determine someone's potential trajectory in a few lessons. Only they can determine that by how much work they put in. So I don't place any expectation on myself to say what they are or aren't capable of with hardwork and determination.

I also had a similar situation. A friend's husband (a high flying banker) wanted me to teach him. His voice was a baritone but he wanted to immediately sing like the Bee Gees. He couldn't for the life of him understand why he couldn't do this in 4 sessions. I even tried meditative hypnosis to start the lesson. In the end I told him that he would need years of practice, gave him some exercises and some other phone numbers to try. I wasn't charging him and I found the sessions draining as he wasn't willing to put the work in to even get in tune.

I find that being honest with the individual about their level is always productive. It is important to let them know that the keys of songs can be changed. Once they understand the fundamentals of breath control, controlling pitch and understanding scale to chord ratio, they tend to see the target better. In addition, allowing them to hear themselves gives them an honest assessment of their abilities, as well as recognizable objectives. Then the fun can begin.

Sometimes I know a song is too difficult, but I let them try it, anyway. It is important for them to know why that may not be a good song choice by trying it and discussing why it didn't work. Sometimes it is changing the key and sometimes it can be a challenging song for later or it could be just a poor fit for their voice or style. Some songs are a "no" or a "later" but I like my students to help figure that out with me. Difficult songs can also be broken down into smaller, more reasonable parts, starting with the easier sections and then getting to the bride or that big ending. It can be good for teaching them how to tackle that big section when they are ready.

One thing I find very helpful is understanding the ??why??, and helping my student understanding it too. A student wants to sing a certain repertory at any cost, for instance, or to reach some notes that are totally out of her/his vocal range. The key question is why does she/he want it? Because she/he thinks this is the way yo become a professional? Because of a specific audition? Because of an emotional need (a memory, a beloved person)? When we understand the why and we commit to this goal, it is easy to find alternatives that are more compliant with the vocal range and the characteristics of the student

I keep seeing many articles about playing games, quizzes, and other online incentives to make lessons fun. I agree with keeping your client challenged and motivated but it sounds like things you would use for young clients or if you were teaching in a school. I agree with this for younger students, but it is important to keep your lessons age-appropriate, and that includes your incentives, rewards, etc. It is definitely not one size fits all.

It is always great to refer to another expert when you can not solve the issue. Talking to other vocal coaches, and voice therapists and doing your own research can help you with specific vocal challenges. If the request is truly unrealistic, you have to let that client know.

I had a client who insisted on working at the very top of their range and they also had some pitch challenges. I suggested starting by singing songs within their comfortable range or lowering the key of other songs. They would refuse and insist on singing too high. Instead of me suggesting exercises for their voice needs, they asked me to assist them with exercises they chose for themselves. So I could not instruct him the way I felt he would make progress. Our lessons became me being paid to keep doing the same things over and over without really getting the best results. I liked this client very much, but he really wasn't using my skills as a trained professional to help him.

I believe any coaching experience should also be fruitful and enjoyable for the coach. If the client comes and dictates what to do from a to z, it is not an exchange anymore. Chances are a conversation needs to be started about if coach and coachee are at all a fit.