How do you handle a parent who disagrees with their child's career goals?

When I used to teach English to teenagers, I would occasionally be asked by my teenage students to mediate discussions between them and their parents regarding their future career choices. In those situations, I typically followed this general guideline: I would arrange a meeting, attentively listen to the parents’ and the child’s perspectives. Then I acknowledged my students’ independence and respected their career aspirations. I tried to provide relevant information and resources to help the parent and child make informed decisions. In doing so, I sometimes sought help from other experienced teachers and staff members. Also, I made an effort to foster productive communication between the parents and child in order to find common ground.

The reality is that the parent is usually focused on the best possible outcome for the child, it's just that their ideas about the best possible outcome may be outdated or based on limited information. The parent is also concerned about maintaining their relationship with the child, which leads to even more friction. The best approach when working with parents is to give them the information they need, invite them into the process, but remind them that their young person is the one who needs to make the decision for themselves

In my work with highly gifted people (children and adults) I see a lot of conformist behavior, trying to adjust to the everage, as being expected. In coaching I focus on the right of every individual to make their own choices. Of course, children need skills to make choices which are in alignment with who THEY are (not who the parent is). It is your duty to learn your child the skills to be able to think for themselves, to trust their inner compass and to stay true to themselves and maintain personal integrity no matter what! And yes, it might happen that the child makes their own choices which are different to the parents perspective. But isn't that beautiful? You have just raised a free spirit!

I think it's important to assume good intent until proven otherwise. Parents who are concerned about using precious resources of money and time to get an education want to know that these resources aren't squandered. And many times they want to help - but because they are limited in what they know, they can only think of options that were true in their time, or that are true in their experience. Anything that sounds risky or requiring a longer development path can make them nervous. This is especially true when students have to borrow money to pursue their dreams. Exploring the parents' ideas and the experiential base on which they are drawing will help you advise both parties so they can reach a harmonious state.

Certainly, understanding the parent's perspective as a teacher is crucial. It enables you to navigate potential concerns related to the child's future and financial security. I once had a parent express apprehension about their child pursuing a career in technology, fearing it lacked stability. Through open dialogue, I shared success stories, growth projections, and the evolving landscape of tech careers. As a teacher, fostering open communication allows you to bridge any gaps in understanding. By highlighting the positive aspects of the chosen career path, I not only provided reassurance but also demonstrated how understanding and embracing the parent's perspective can lead to informed decisions that benefit the student's future.

Validating a child's autonomy in career decisions involves a delicate balance. Here's how: affirm their right to choose, acknowledge parental input, highlight passions and strengths, encourage open communication, provide information, discuss risk management, set boundaries, seek professional guidance if needed, encourage independence, and emphasize long-term happiness. Respecting each other's views while supporting the child's decision is key.

I am a Professor with more than 30 years of experience at the tertiary level. Tertiary education, also called post-secondary education, is any level of education pursued beyond high school, including undergraduate and graduate credentials. At this level, autonomy can be given to a child. As Robert Frost says your "avocation" should be your "vocation". In many places, this remains an impossibility. "With freedom comes responsibility"

While validating the child's autonomy in making their career decisions, it is important to carefully dig deep into the child's influence. Find out what or who influenced the child into their career choice. If the influence is positive, then the child's choice should be encouraged. If on the other hand it's from a negative influence, it is of paramount importance to educate the child on the pros and cons of their decision while not denying them their autonomy. In clear terms, understanding why the child made that choice will be very helpful in properly guiding both the child and the parent.

When I was teaching life-skills, I encountered a situation where a student expressed a strong interest in pursuing a career in the performing arts, while their parents emphasized a more stable and traditional profession. ??Recognizing the need to validate the student's autonomy, I facilitated a meeting with the parents. ??I highlighted how the student's passion for the arts aligned with their creativity and intrinsic motivation, he had demonstrated in his academic and extracurricular pursuits. ???We openly discussed the resilience and work ethic the student had demonstrated. ??Over time, the parents began to appreciate the value of nurturing their child's talents and passions, to pursue a career in the performing arts.

This one could be challenging, some times parents do not know most teachers know well about their kids's academic prowess than them, all you need to do is to keep talking to convince them of the career path their wards want.

Everyone should be encouraged to pursue a career in their area(s) of passion. They also need to find something that will meet their financial needs (including repaying any student loans incurred). These two factors should be considered in selecting a major. That being said, parents who disagree with a students’ career choice could help their student to consider their areas of passion and how they could be economically viable. It is important that the parent not try to live out their own life dreams through their student.

Conflict between parents and children during deciding career goal’s can happen due to parents' high academic and career expectations, lack of knowledge of new career options, and children's lack of understanding of their own abilities and interests. Providing relevant information and resources to both of them is best way to help them to take informed decision.

It’s so important to know your rationale and to consider the parents rationale. Often times there is a compromise to be found once both sides understand each other fully. This has to be done delicately and authentically. If everyone truly shows up that they are caring for the child’s best interests, all decisions can often be brought back to that and grounded in wisdom.

Empower both the parent and the child by offering comprehensive information and resources to explore the chosen career path. Share facts, data, and success stories within the field, outlining educational and professional requirements, as well as potential pathways and opportunities. Recommend relevant sources such as websites, books, podcasts, or events that provide deeper insights and inspiration. Encourage conversations with experienced individuals like mentors, counselors, or role models to gain firsthand perspectives. Providing a wealth of information helps create a more informed decision-making process for both the parent and the child.

It’s important to listen to parents about their child’s career goals, their view may add insight not previously considered. Critical to ensure the student is part of these conversations and all options and pathways are explored. Investigate through questioning the parent’s concerns and see how that unfolds. It may reveal a deep seated negative view that has no logic and it’s important to reveal this to parents. Keep refocusing the conversations around the student - it is their life after all.

To facilitate a constructive dialogue between parents and children, follow these key steps: 1. Create a safe and open environment for open expression. 2. Practice active listening to understand emotions and perspectives. 3. Identify core issues causing disagreements. 4. Brainstorm solutions with creativity and open-mindedness. 5. Evaluate solutions based on meeting both parties' needs. 6. Seek compromise and agreement, considering each party's needs. 7. Set clear expectations and plan follow-up discussions. 8. Use positive reinforcement to motivate communication and compromise. Remember, open communication, respect, and accommodation is essential.

Reflecting on my tutoring and teaching experience back then, I sometimes encountered situations where parents disagreed with their children's career goals. And yes, facilitating constructive dialogue became one of the essential steps to navigate this difference. But, before initiating this discussion, I've found some of the following quite important: 1. Provide a comfortable setting to conduct an open discussion for both parents and children. 2. Set goals and rules. It is to ensure the conversation focuses on finding a feasible solution. 3. Allow both parties to speak, and make sure that everyone is listening attentively. 4. Finally, brainstorm the possible solutions together. If time allows, making plans A and B will be helpful.

In my experience it is important to set clear ground rules for a dialogue be productive. For example, each person should agree that they have something to learn from the other person.

Constructive dialogue is perhaps the most important aspect in this regard. It can help to clarify the contradiction between the perspectives of the parent and the child.

Getting beyond the emotional aspect is very difficult. It is wise to have a mediator to help both sides rationally and logically search for, research and look at the facts. There may also need to be a timeline given to explore and a structured set of points on the agreed upon agenda. Sometimes we have to agree to disagree with honor and respect.

In a similar vein, consider a scenario where a student of my life-skills class shared their decision to pursue a creative field, met with initial disapproval from their family. Despite my efforts to bridge the gap, the parents remained skeptical. Over time, as my student persisted in his passion and showcased tangible achievements, the parents began to appreciate the commitment. This example underscores the value of respecting outcomes and allowing individuals the space to prove themselves, fostering understanding and support in the long run.

Respecting the outcome of a parent's decision regarding their child's career aspirations involves acknowledging their perspective and authority while maintaining open, respectful communication. Express understanding for their concerns and decision-making process, recognizing their role as the primary caregiver. Attempt to find common ground or compromise that considers both the parent's concerns and the child's aspirations. Continuously share information about the child's interests, progress, and achievements in other areas to maintain transparency and demonstrate the child's growth. Emphasize ongoing support for the child's overall development and well-being, reaffirming a shared goal despite differences in career paths.

To offer support, guidance, and encouragement to both the parent and the child, follow these key steps: 1. Maintain open communication with both parties. 2. Offer balanced advice considering both perspectives. 3. Celebrate the child's achievements to boost morale. 4. Encourage open and honest dialogue between parent and child. 5. Be a role model for respectful and supportive behavior. 6. Provide helpful resources and information. 7. Respect boundaries and avoid imposing views. 8. Suggest professional guidance if needed. 9. Stay positive and encouraged. 10. Be patient and persistent in supporting them. Remember, your role is to support and guide, fostering understanding and resilience in their relationship and aspirations.

Varying Perspectives are the cornerstone of individualism. Hence, listening to both sides and respecting their outcome is utmost importance thing to do as a teacher. Moreover, one may list down the pros and cons of both sides and may choose to remain neutral.

While agreeing I would say, as a teacher, guider, counselor and supporter, your role would be a bridge between child and parent. A teacher should have this skill to play his role as a bridge in case a child compromises his dreams just because of his parents' lack of awareness.

We cannot understate the importance of psychometric tests. Some of them are available online for free. These tests, especially the 16-personalities test, will also advise on the careers that one is highly likely to succeed in. I have found them to be very helpful. We thought my daughter was made out to be an artist. She loves music and acting. We were shocked when the results of her personality tests showed she'll thrive as a medical doctor. She got into med school and graduated as the best student in her year and gave the Valedictorian speech on graduation. That's the power of psychometric tests. As we guide the students and parents, we should also consider advising the kids to take these tests.

It’s important that we don’t engineer our kids or restrain their choices. Also gone the days of a linear career in many aspects (although some traditional pathways remain). So the best way would be to create a safe environment for our kids to explore different areas and even do work experience or be informed more about them, to help them with their choices. Our job is to support them and enable them rather than declare or guide.

My advice is this; we should encourage parents to keep portfolios for their children. The portfolios should show the child's skills and development as they grow. If a talented child begins to drift away from something they are good at then they may need some support to get back on track. 1. What are they going through? 2. Have a dialogue with the teacher, coach or mentor with evidence. Together they can find ways to support the child to get back on track. Not all children know what they would like to be in future. Such children find their way eventually through life's experiences. Parents should not think that they are a failure, and make decisions for their future. These children have a different path and will bloom at the right time.

J’ai une bonne nouvelle pour l’IA et les personnes qui ont construit ( si je puis dire) ces étapes de réflexion : c’est exactement ce que nous faisons dans notre système éducatif ! J’ajoute que des professionnelles et professionnels de l’orientation déterminent très finement ( désolé pour l’AI) le profil individualisé des élèves. En matière d’orientation, il n’existe pas de martingale : il existe des individualités.

Our children are often confused with the concept of academia when their lives revolves around the AI. Curious conversations about their career choices often starts with ‘I don’t know what I want to be’ and rightfully so. We are educating the children of the future and they need to be set up for success for jobs that don’t even exist yet. Allowing autonomy in subject choices enables their own curiosity to be met, which strengthens their insights into potential successes through an inspiring lens.