How do you handle difficult or resistant leadership development clients?

1 Understand the root causes

The first step is to understand why your client is being difficult or resistant. There may be various factors influencing their behavior, such as fear of change, lack of trust, low self-esteem, stress, or personality differences. Try to empathize with their perspective and identify their needs, motivations, and goals. Ask open-ended questions, listen actively, and acknowledge their emotions and concerns. By showing respect and curiosity, you can build rapport and reduce defensiveness.

2 Adapt your approach

The next step is to adapt your coaching approach to suit your client's leadership style and preferences. Different clients may respond better to different methods, tools, or formats of coaching. For example, some may prefer more structure and guidance, while others may want more autonomy and flexibility. Some may like more direct and honest feedback, while others may need more support and encouragement. Some may enjoy creative and experiential activities, while others may favor analytical and logical ones. By tailoring your coaching to your client's needs and preferences, you can increase their engagement and satisfaction.

3 Challenge with care

The third step is to challenge your client with care and compassion. While you want to avoid being too confrontational or aggressive, you also don't want to be too passive or accommodating. Your role as a coach is to help your client grow and develop, which may require pushing them out of their comfort zone and challenging their assumptions, beliefs, or behaviors. However, you need to do this in a way that is respectful, supportive, and constructive. You can use techniques such as reframing, mirroring, or scaling to help your client see things from a different angle, reflect on their actions and impact, or measure their progress and potential.

4 Set clear expectations and boundaries

The fourth step is to set clear expectations and boundaries with your client. You need to communicate what you expect from them, what they can expect from you, and what the rules and limits of your coaching relationship are. For example, you may agree on the frequency, duration, and mode of your coaching sessions, the goals and outcomes of your coaching process, the roles and responsibilities of both parties, and the feedback and evaluation mechanisms. By setting clear expectations and boundaries, you can prevent misunderstandings, conflicts, or disappointments, and ensure accountability and professionalism.

5 Seek feedback and support

The fifth step is to seek feedback and support from your client, your peers, or your supervisor. You need to monitor and evaluate how your coaching is going, what is working well, and what can be improved. You can ask your client for feedback on your coaching style, methods, or impact, and use it to adjust your approach or address any issues. You can also seek feedback and support from other coaches, mentors, or experts who can offer you advice, insights, or resources. By seeking feedback and support, you can enhance your skills and confidence as a coach.

6 Celebrate success and learning

The sixth step is to celebrate success and learning with your client. You need to recognize and appreciate your client's achievements, efforts, and growth, and help them celebrate their milestones and results. You can use positive reinforcement, praise, or rewards to motivate and encourage your client. You can also help them reflect on their learning journey, identify their strengths and areas for improvement, and plan their next steps. By celebrating success and learning, you can build trust and rapport with your client, and foster a positive and productive coaching relationship.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?