How do you give feedback to someone who resists?

Understanding and empathizing is for me the first thing to do, then I believe in transformation of emotions, perspectives and dissolving limitations in a very human and creative way, if necessary not directly related to the resistance point. Focusing on fostering positive emotions and improving people’s energy can dissolve many barriers.

Resistance to change is seen everywhere and this happens mainly because most of us are not willing to unlearn what we have taught and believed. Everything should be dynamic and always remember about Charles Darwin theory "Survival of the Fittest".....

Giving feedback will be successful only if an optimum amount of trust and understanding is developed and the receiver perceives the giver as a coach, mentor, or a well wisher. Without such trusting relationship, feedback may be seen as authoritative comment by receiver even if it is constructive.It may be regarded as an advice that may be easily forgotten or not implemented if receiver perceives giver as am expert. So it's important to develop trust and nurturing relationship with each other.

You can offer constructive solutions and encourage self-reflection. Respect their decision and consider involving a neutral third party if necessary. Be patient and slightly persistent, approaching the situation with genuine care for their growth.

Everyone's perspectives are shaped by our experiences and expectations, which in turn are influenced by the environment which nurtured us. In my experience, diving deeper into the motivations and influences around a person who has been resistant has always been key to making any progress with them. Without this additional perspective, we always end up addressing the symptoms rather than the root cause, which ends up delaying any long-term solution to resistance. A deep dive is key to devising strategies for impactful change in any resistant person.

I've always believed that any feedback should ideally always be given in private, and when sharing feedback in company always treat it as a lesson for group. I feel giving feedback is more an art than a scientific process. Being able to calibrate the feedback to have the maximum impact without leading to adverse reactions is a tight balancing act and doing so in the right environment is often the difference between failure and success.

Ensuring that the person receiving the feedback feels respected and safe is of outmost important. When someone feels unsafe, unheard and attacked, they are likely to be resistant to feedback and show defense. It is not about what you say in this case, it is about how you say it, with whom around and when. In heated situation it's is always best to delay feedback until the right time and emotions have subsided.

Timing and setting are important factors for giving feedback. You want to choose a time and place that are conducive to a respectful and productive dialogue, not a tense and hostile confrontation. Avoid giving feedback when the person is busy, stressed, or emotional, as they may be more likely to resist or ignore it. Instead, find a time when they are calm, focused, and receptive, and ask for their permission to share your feedback

Feedback approach does not work with someone who resists. You will have to adopt feedforward approach. What's in for me has to be explained and existing gap finding discussion points should be based on data. Valid action plan should be tracked for better productivity.

I think timing is very important in giving feedback. However, in order to increase awareness, I think it is very important to give observation and the feeling it creates in you to the person you want to give feedback as soon as possible. If you save and give, they may think that you are keeping an agenda where also deteriorates your personal relations with the person you want to give feedback.

I agree with this helpful advice on giving feedback. For example, at my previous job, a colleague was hesitant to accept feedback on a project. I made sure to offer specific examples of areas for improvement, related to our team's goals, and emphasized how it would benefit both him and the project. This approach encouraged him to be more open to feedback and contributed to positive team dynamics.

It's not just enough to be specific and constructive, I feel effort is needed to also help guide the person to developing their own unique path. Instead of critique, or direction, it is critical to cooperate and guide them towards the path that works best for them, and this might often diverge from where we think they may need to be.

Some people will always be defensive and resistant to feedback, no matter the approach the giver may have. This is part of their own beliefs and mindset, and nearly impossible to change, especially in short sessions. In my experience, I've accepted this, rather than fighting it or trying to change it, and shifted directly to the goal setting phase. Here, it's paramount to provide the feedback recipient with the 'big picture' and some 'ground rules' (e.g. organisations budgets), but then let them design their own path to success. This way they are more honest and self critical of their own skills and definitely more open to make requests for help on how to get where they need to be. Essentially, they will give themselves the needed feedback.

Start by using these 3 words to be specific: “That, Yes That” . As in “THAT moment, when you smiled at the customer, YES THAT was when I saw the customer lean in…” Being factual for positive or constructive feedback makes it easier to be better received vs. an opinion.

When I’m in a contract with a person training with me or who is a part of my team or a collaborative teams lead or in a capacity where their resistance impacts my work and decision I take a step back and give the person space. Than I approach them with clarity on how their resistance is impacting the overall flow that will in turn change the outcome. I never argue or point fingers. I ask for their reasoning. Ask how thier reasoning will impact a near future outcome? Then I wait for that near future outcome to happen. Usually all resistance disappears when the outcomes don’t match. On rare occasions I learn I needed to stop relying so much strategy and that resistance is good in some ways.

Through empathetic listening, you can create a space in which others feel safe being themselves, laying the foundation for open and honest communication, reducing tensions and creating a safe environment that is conducive to collaborative problem solving.

Listen and look for the emotions first, before trying to solve or reply. What do you see and hear that is important to THEM? Empathy doesn’t mean you have to share their emotions, it’s theirs. Acknowledge it, because it’s important to them and you will get more trust if you do.

Resistance is usually from anxiety in different forms or a fear of being unworthy. When you create a safe space which develops a growth mindset by acknowledging your own weaknesses and mistakes and taking accountability for it, where mistakes are celebrated because we learn from them then it will be easier for staff to open to change and feedback. I start by asking them for their opinion and coach them into reflecting with questions such as "What are your thoughts on...?" "What do you think you would have needed at this time?" "Could you have made that even better?" and then if this fails I would use the feedback sandwhich! Stregnth, even better if, strength. Then asking what they would need from us to acheive this and small check ins

It is also important to provide feedback through a multicultural diverse lens. Culture is anything a group of individuals share; however, in my experience, I’ve noticed that age is the most relevant cultural consideration when providing feedback. Assessing what an individual would need or benefit from based on their age may be helpful when providing feedback. For example, directly after in-situ or face-to-face feedback, older individuals may benefit from receiving paper copies of what was discussed and/or formal reviews. Millennials or GenZ may benefit more from electronic exchanges such as email, or information provided in storage drive databases.

Staying calm and neutral can help keep the emotions in check during the conversation, and this could help avoid confrontational accusation that may escalate resistance. Allowing the person to Express their perceptive and concerns, this will make them feel you are acknowledging their points and it will make them feel heard and understood. Keeping the feedback private gives room for improvement and it create a trustworthy relationship between both parties.

While giving feedback, it is important to be diplomatic. Start by stating the commendable achievements, while you bring to light areas that need to be improved and worked upon. Feedback should be perceived as a learning and development strategy rather than sheer criticism. The choice of words during feedback sessions should be positive and respectful.

The most successful approach coaching executives is providing constructive feedback adopting a coaching approach. Highlighting the individual's strengths and achievements, acknowledge their contributions and emphasize that the feedback is aimed at supporting their growth. Frame feedback as an opportunity for improvement and development. Ask powerful questions that encourage self-reflection and critical thinking helping them take ownership of their development and identify their own solutions. Be specific about the behaviors or actions you want to address. Focus on observable and measurable changes. Regularly check in & ongoing support reinforces the idea that feedback is a collaborative process aimed at continuous improvement.

Consider helping the individual replace their inferior fear (reputation, pride, insecurity) with a superior fear (growth, promotion, legacy). Sometimes in the moment it’s easy to be resistant to feedback and criticism because of the short term consequences while the real consequences actually come down the road when the insecurity or fear can consume the resistant person.

it is important to be respectful and understanding. Start by acknowledging their feelings and then explain why you are giving feedback. Be specific and focus on the behavior, not the person. Offer suggestions for improvement and ask for their input. Be patient and persistent, and eventually they will come around.