How do you find and approach a potential career mentor online or offline?

I often recommend that my job-seeking clients look for someone who is one or two steps ahead of where they want to be. Identify some dream companies and narrow down your role, then it's easy to find such people and many are more than willing to connect and at least have an informational interview. If that first brief call (I recommend 20 minutes, but anywhere from 15-30 can work) goes well, then you could ask if they would be willing to continue the relationship and/or possibly mentor you.

If you don't define your goals, or at least your vision you won't have the information that you need to vet appropriate mentors and coaches. Ask yourself, What do you want to achieve in your career? What skills do you want to develop? Once you know what you're looking for, you can start to narrow down your search. If you're not sure what your goals are, take some time to reflect on your career aspirations. What sparks and lights you up? What are you passionate about? What do you want to be doing in five, ten, twenty years? This information not only helps you, but also finding the right fit for a mentor.

Like lime programming, engineering, AI prompting etc - better inputs yield better outputs. If you lack the clarity and presence to know what you want and hope to achieve, how can the prospective mentor take you seriously or know if they can actually help you? Communication is the soft skill that unlocks so much more. If you don’t have this propensity and ability to focus and articulate that, this is something that must be addressed and adjusted before seeking a professional mentor. BONUS: if you know this is your problem, you can seek a mentor who can help you with this specifically, because you now know what you want and need!

Finding a mentor starts with identifying someone whose work resonates with your aspirations. Before reaching out, do your homework - understand their work, values, and career path. When ready to connect, find common ground to initiate the conversation. Respect their time and be concise in expressing why you admire their work and how their mentorship could shape your career. Be open to feedback and receptive to learning. Keep the relationship alive by maintaining regular communication, seeking advice when needed, and expressing gratitude for their guidance. It doesn't have to be long term - even brief mentorships can provide invaluable insights!

Sometimes these questions and choices could be overwhelming too on their own. You may also have some limiting beliefs that narrow down your view of what is possible for you. Many of my clients find me at a time when they don't have the answer to these questions yet so that I can support them along the way and make it easier for them to make these choices. So the moral of the story: do not feel bad if you don't have the answer to these questions.

There are mentors everywhere; your network, at specific events that are related to your interests, hidden as podcast guests/hosts, local community leaders/organizers, and especially online (i.e. LinkedIn). When you're looking for a mentor, mentors will also self select. Don't worry about someone note responding, because the ones that do are truly the people you want to talk to.

You can also just put it out there in your content, comments and in your profile and let the right people come to you. Who are the thought leaders? What organization do you want to penetrate? What social proof do you require in a mentor? Knowing your exact expected outcome can help you find the right person. Don’t just use an app for convenience, because you need to really ask yourself and wonder why the mentors are on that app in the first place. Sometimes zigging when others zag is the right move. Said differently, different actions than most get different results to most.

Find someone through your network or online and make sure you have a free session with them to see if you are good match. Sometimes both sides could be amazing yet you are not a good match. It is important for both parties to get to know each other and you to ask some questions to the mentor/coach before you make a commitment.

First impressions are usually the most impactful and this is no different. Do you seem like someone they’ll want to spend their time and likely stake their reputations on? Are you kind? Can you listen? Do you seem coachable? Most mentors have many demands on their time at any given time - make them see that investing time and emotional capital into you will be a smart use of their time and experience. Be memorable to the best of your ability and aspire to show them you’re the type to “pay it forward”.

The best way to make a good impression on a mentor is to treat them as a mentor. Meaning, respect their time, be curious and non-argumentative, stay positive, be prepared, do your research, be grateful and make sure you follow-up with what they recommend. You need to lead the charge in building the relationship.

Trust and rapport develop from experiences, openness, communication, and reliability. Make sure to always be honest, share your goals and story (even the dark sides, but also the successes), and ask if there is ever anything you can do to support them too!

The relationship with your mentor is only as strong as you make it. That means that you'll need to lead staying in touch. Find opportunities to connect, either as a check-in, through an article or media content they might like, a holiday or thank-you card, or a simple email update. Your mentor is invested in your success, so let them know about your journey.

All masters were once students and are compelled to pay it forward once they achieve their rank and abilities, so we get it – we’ve been in your shoes. But it’s incumbent upon you to make us see the potential in you. Being coachable, punctual, put together, considerate, eager, kind – these are traits a potential mentor will likely be compelled to go out of their ways to develop and go above and beyond cultivating a deep mentor relationship with outcome based work.

For those who are looking to develop a mentoring relationship, I recommend checking out the Center for Mentoring Excellence. They have lots of resources and books that helps both mentors and mentees create a contract that becomes the foundation for how to work together.

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