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How do you develop your emotional intelligence skills as a lifelong learner?

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Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to understand and manage your own and others' emotions, and to use them effectively in different situations. EI is a crucial skill for team management, as it can help you build trust, communicate clearly, resolve conflicts, motivate and inspire your team members, and adapt to changing circumstances. But how do you develop your EI skills as a lifelong learner? Here are some tips to help you grow your emotional awareness and competence.

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1 Assess your current level

The first step to developing your EI skills is to know where you stand. You can use various tools and frameworks to assess your strengths and weaknesses in the four domains of EI: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. For example, you can take an online test, such as the Emotional Intelligence Appraisal, or use a model, such as the Emotional and Social Competence Inventory, to identify your areas of improvement. You can also ask for feedback from your colleagues, friends, or family, or keep a journal to reflect on your emotional experiences and reactions.

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Boydell Bown

VP | Strategic Leadership | Passionate about Continuous Discovery
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It's important to approach assessment with a sense of curiosity. If you have a desire to understand yourself better, you will be more open to change and improvement. This is not a exercise in finding your flaws, it is an opportunity for growth.

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2 Learn from others

One of the best ways to improve your EI skills is to learn from others who demonstrate them well. You can observe and emulate how they express their emotions, listen empathically, handle stress, cope with challenges, and interact with others. You can also seek mentors, coaches, or role models who can guide you and share their insights and advice. You can also join communities, groups, or networks where you can exchange ideas, experiences, and support with other learners and practitioners of EI.

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Boydell Bown

VP | Strategic Leadership | Passionate about Continuous Discovery
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You should also learn from the experts. There are many great books on the subjects of Emotions and Emotional Intelligence. Those books will not only help you better understand your own emotions, but can provide great tools for improving your Emotional Intelligence skills.

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3 Practice regularly

Like any skill, EI requires practice and repetition to become more natural and effective. You can practice your EI skills in various situations and contexts, such as at work, at home, or in social settings. You can set specific goals and challenges for yourself, such as giving constructive feedback, managing your anger, or showing appreciation. You can also use exercises, games, or simulations to enhance your EI skills, such as role-playing, mindfulness, or emotional vocabulary. You can also monitor your progress and evaluate your outcomes, and celebrate your achievements and learn from your mistakes.

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4 Seek feedback

Feedback is essential for developing your EI skills, as it can help you identify your blind spots, gaps, and areas of improvement. You can seek feedback from different sources, such as your team members, peers, managers, customers, or mentors. You can also use tools, such as surveys, questionnaires, or 360-degree feedback, to collect and analyze feedback. You can also ask for specific, constructive, and actionable feedback, and be open and receptive to it. You can also thank the feedback providers and follow up on their suggestions.

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Boydell Bown

VP | Strategic Leadership | Passionate about Continuous Discovery
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Feedback is the most accurate way to understand your skill levels in social awareness and relationship management. However, it can be a challenge to encourage honest feedback, accept it with humility, and strive to apply it to make productive changes. If you can find people in your life that care for you, but want to help you grow, those are the ones that will give the most productive feedback.

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5 Keep learning

Developing your EI skills is a lifelong journey, not a destination. You can always learn new things, discover new perspectives, and explore new opportunities to improve your EI skills. You can keep learning by reading books, articles, blogs, or podcasts on EI topics, such as emotional regulation, empathy, leadership, or communication. You can also attend courses, workshops, seminars, or webinars on EI, or enroll in online programs, such as Coursera's Emotional Intelligence in Teams. You can also stay updated on the latest research, trends, and best practices on EI.

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6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Cindi Hayes

Customer Experience Coordinator | CourseCareers Student | Retired International Flight Attendant | Former Non-Profit President/Project Manager
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I agree with all the suggested paths in this article. I only wish my boss would recognize that this type of introspection would benefit our team, but he’s not open to suggestions or insights, and frequently gets defensive when ideas and input are given. Communicating with him involves walking a tightrope and choosing my words carefully. Guess I just have to keep setting my own example.

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Nausheen Saumtally

I enable corporate teams to cultivate strong leadership and boost productivity??Trained teams globally??Unlock peak performance through human behavior & communication strategies??
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A key part of EI is understanding & acknowledging that we are not all the same. People with the same experiences act, respond & deal with it differently. This is the human experience. When we grasp this, it is easier to be empathetic & it equips us to work with others better. So, understanding how different personalities deal with stress, conflict & success is the foundation of EI. For eg, a D (dominant) personality may find it hard to understand when a team member shuts down in times of conflict. D personalities thrive on conflict. Why wouldn't someone else? This is where the golden rule is wrong: treat others as you want to be treated. Rather, remember the platinum rule of communication: treat others as THEY would like to be treated.

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Ann R.

Sex-Positive Psychotherapist | Religious Trauma Specialist | Founder & CEO at AMR Therapy | Empowering Mental Health Professionals to Address Complex Trauma
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Developing Emotional Intelligence (EI) is indeed a lifelong journey that requires ongoing learning and growth. It's essential to maintain a humble mindset and recognize that there is always more to learn and discover, regardless of how knowledgeable or experienced we may be. Even if you feel confident in your EI skills, it's important to remain open to new perspectives and opportunities for improvement. Humbling yourself and acknowledging that you can learn from others is a valuable mindset to cultivate. No one person has all the answers, and by embracing a mindset of continuous learning, you can expand your understanding and enhance your EI skills.

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How do you develop your emotional intelligence skills as a lifelong learner?

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 Assess your current level

2 Learn from others

3 Practice regularly

4 Seek feedback

5 Keep learning

6 Here’s what else to consider

Team Management

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How do you develop your emotional intelligence skills as a lifelong learner?

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 Assess your current level

2 Learn from others

3 Practice regularly

4 Seek feedback

5 Keep learning

6 Here’s what else to consider

Team Management

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