How do you develop and maintain a positive and productive relationship with your manager?

In my opinion when you go with challenges to your boss, have your 2 solutions/ perspective also ready. Instead of just discussing problems, also discuss solutions.

When I was with Dell, one of the most important lessons I learned was the importance of "managing up". Thinking ahead and anticipating my boss' needs and concerns - and then being proactive about bringing solutions rather than problems - went a long way in establishing trust and perceived value. One of the best ways I learned to make this practical was in emails. I always put the QUESTION first, at the top. Then put the rationale, supporting details etc., further down. The reason is that it helps the recipient provide triage the email, for quicker feedback and/or route my question to someone who will have the best answer.

While it may cost me in the short-term to be up-front and honest about my intentions on a project, it has always paid dividends. After the successful completion of a large-scale change project for a recent client, I was asked to lead the next effort. I chose to be honest about where I want to take my career and the project was out of alignment. While the client may have been surprised, I knew that it was better for our long-term relationship that I didn't say yes, then leave mid-way through the project and burn bridges.

Getting feedback is like getting a second opinion from a doctor that ensures that we are on the right track! Coaching helps in creating co-creative relationship with the manager to seek solutions that need time and attention.

Working without a goal is like shooting in the dark without directions. It's important that employees divide their roles into short term and long term goals and assess periodically with the help of their managers.

When I was a young program manager, my boss at Dell was so busy that I knew I would only have a few minutes of his time. I made it a point to always come prepared with a concise summary of recent accomplishments plus specific questions or insights to share about what I knew were his priorities. I knew that being so prepared was one of the best ways I could show respect for his time, demonstrate my organization and foresight, and proactively add value to his life. While I certainly stood out, I've since realized that this was also my way of "proving my value". As a mature professional, I am no longer trying to PROVE anything. My work speaks for itself, and my confidence and posture allows me to truly lead - and show up as a peer.

As in every relationship, avoiding conflict is not a sustainable way out of it. When avoiding the conflict either of ignoring or postponing we actually allow it to grow and circulate in the subconscious. The result is then an outburst of emotion often through an unrelated trigger. Yes confronting conflict is work and often not a pleasurable thing to do. But to move on and remain the health of our relationship it is necessary to dig deep into the conflict itself through direct non-violent communication that respects the other and has a clear commitment to each other for the future.