How do you control nonverbal cues when nervous?

I don't. Overexcitiabilities will always be present for the areas you are most gifted in. I do not have control over them. They control me. So I try to find the flow in between the balance of the energy and clarity they bring and use them. I don't seek control. I seek to allow them to do the job they are intended to do. I let them rise up and I use all the data they bring with them. Sometimes I choke they are so strong. But so what. I choke and then the next thing out of my mouth is unexpected and brilliant. They are simply apart of our extreme sensitivity and giftedness. We have forgotten that nerves are natural and have a purpose. Find their purpose and you have found your best functioning.

Breathing and relaxing before the presentation is so important - it will assist in making you more confident and your voice will remain in a lower pitch and slower pace. Your audience will pick up on your anxiety if you don't breath and relax, and that anxiety will flow back to you from the audience. Breath and relax before you enter the room where you are giving your presentation and it will be easier to maintain that during the presentation.

Why are you forcing me to smile or nod. I will do this naturally if the moment calls for it. Stop trying to make me focus on others and not what I am naturally supposed to focus on. Let me focus on the words and non-verbal cues you are giving and what the best response should be. You stifle my best response when you make me focus on my outward appearance. You say you want to bring up my creativity. Well this does the opposite. Let me be as I am. By the end of our discussion you will realize I have heard you more than you have ever heard before. My outward appearance means nothing to the conversation. The gift I give is understanding you deeply.

Being genuine is key here. If it does not come naturally don't force it, but focus on other ways in which you can come across as open and friendly.

Eye contact is over rated. I can give it you all day long and it will unnerve you. I can give you too little and it will unnerve you. Let us pretend that the only thing that matters is that you know I care enough to try to understand you. Look away from me as you need to. Look at my as you need to. We will find our place of mutual agreement and acceptance naturally. I have no expectation and neither should you. Once we have this established we can finally communicate as equals.

I don't care what you do in our communication if you understand me. I don't care if you look at your phone if when I finish you have heard what the message I have delivered. You can pretend to be listening and still not hear me. This is worse then when you blatantly not listening. At least then I know you are not being deceitful. That you have others things on your mind and I should come back another time. My internal processing is very quick. So I will hear you and process and look for more clues to what your full intention is. Do not think I am not listening. I am listening very deeply. When I respond then you will know. I will validate you and we will waste much less time focusing on the message and not its delivery.

To work on your nonverbal communication, try doing Mirror Activity. Prepare a paragraph. It could be about "Tell me about yourself", "Share, how your action brought a desired result at a workplace", etc. Now stand in front of mirror and answer as if you are giving response to the recruiter at the interview. Looking at mirror while speaking, will help you understand your facial expressions, hand movements, eye contact, etc. You will understand what improvements will make it more effective. Your nonverbal communication display your confidence more than that of your spoken words.

Just a throwback to when I participated in the national-level speech contest in my school and was feeling anxious but decided to take a deep breath, give it my best possible shot, and visualize winning. I started to make eye contact with the audience and used confident gestures instead of folding my fingers. Despite the nerves, I controlled nonverbal cues, that helped me deliver a fantastic performance. It just shows that even in nerve-wracking situations, we can harness the power of our body language to project confidence and overcome our fears!