How do you coach someone struggling with confidence or stress?

I lost my son to death from suicide, gratitude helped me deal with the situation, being empathetic, and understanding that he was an adult and made his choice in life. I celebrate the good times we spent together. Understanding what produces good brain chemicals and bad chemicals also helps. For example, being curious about his death from suicide understanding it was not only us who has lost a son but many other families. We all have choices in life to choose our response to situations. So, using our intellect to guide us and not our emotions.

I had a friend who believed he was not good at so many things. He lacked the confidence to face his career especially when it came to public speaking I tried coaching countless times but failed , So I gave him task that needed him to lead at every level , As a leader he realised he had no choice but to do what he could. Slowly He kept improving and then built so much confidence. I think many people lack the confidence because we don't even believe in them , Great power comes great responsibilities We can stand handing small task for them to lead a team and then as they improve we give them bigger ones .

What I find to be helpful in working with my clients, is to discover what drives their lack of confidence . When working with clients I start with an assessment called the Energy Leadership Index (ELI) The ELI looks at how we think, feel and take action. For example, I had a client who, as much as she loved her actual work, felt overwhelmed and stressed in her job. On the surface it appeared that she lacked confidence. The ELI showed that she had an underlying thought pattern of wanting to avoid confrontation. Her confidence issue was actually a lack of understanding as to how she could say no in a way that felt safe. Recognizing her underlying thought pattern allowed her to more quickly find ways resolve her concern.

1. Use open-ended questions to explore their feelings and experiences. 2. Listen actively to show understanding and build trust. 3. Reflect back their thoughts to validate their response.

Some thoughts that can help when working toward a goal are "and" thoughts: "This is hard and I can do hard things" "I don't know every step but I know the next step" "I've never done this before and I have the ability to learn new things"

I would say something slightly different: Encourage your client to have a go at something small. Talk it through, help them practice, help them however they need to have a go. Start very small and when they've done one thing, review it and embed the small sense of 'I did it'. Slowly slowly build it up.

? To build confidence, ensure goals are clear and actionable, celebrate small wins, seek support, stay flexible, and maintain a positive mindset. 1. Define clear, specific goals. 2. Measure progress regularly. 3. Ensure goals are realistic and attainable. 4. Align goals with personal relevance. 5. Set deadlines to maintain focus.

I would add that, as a coach, you also have to gently call them on the BS - interrupt the soundtrack that says "I will never be good at this" and "I'm not good enough" that plays on repeat. Because if you don't alter that soundtrack, no amount of action will produce the results they want. The key is not to try and replace those thoughts - they are deeply embedded and feel like facts. The trick is to find another thought that is believable but doesn't feel as crappy. For instance, you can't go from "I'm ugly and no one wants to marry me" to "I am a goddess anyone would be lucky to have". But you can move to "I am open to seeking evidence that there are people in the world who look like me who have found love" and so on.

I advise people to speak up whenever they have a question. it is likely that they are never the only one with a question and their concern could help someone else.

1. Create a safe and trusting environment. 2. Show empathy and compassion consistently. 3. Acknowledge and celebrate their efforts and successes. 4. Offer constructive and honest feedback. 5. Suggest actionable strategies and resources to tackle challenges.

I encourage my clients to carefully observe themselves in action to identify what specifically triggers stress or lack of confidence. The triggers are different for each of us based on our personal databases of experiences. When we clearly understand our triggers, we can anticipate where they might show up and develop a plan to manage them when they do. For example, if you consistently worry about being asked a question you can't answer, prepare for that eventuality. Consider what's within your control when that happens. You might prepare a few responses to have available, or you might invite an expert into the room to support you. Knowing you have a plan to address potential triggers helps you to feel more confident in the moment.

This approach might help short-term but generally not long-term. Many confidence issues are embedded more deeply and require more self-awareness to access true self-confidence vs trying to mentally maneuver around feeling the lack of confidence.

? For example, you can teach your client how to use positive affirmations, visualization, or self-talk to boost their confidence. ? You can also teach them how to use relaxation techniques, breathing exercises, or mindfulness practices to reduce their stress. ? You can demonstrate, explain, or model these skills and strategies, and ask your client to practice them regularly. 1. Use positive affirmations to reframe negative thoughts. 2. Visualize success to build confidence. 3. Practice self-talk to maintain a positive mindset. 4. Utilize relaxation techniques for immediate stress relief. 5. Incorporate mindfulness practices into daily routines.

Two great skills I teach are the circle of excellence and eft (tapping). Both are skills a client can keep and use throughout their life.

Generally, limiting beliefs come from the Inner Critic structure of the psyche, so helping them identify the Inner Critic, it’s history, and how to fully disengage from the Inner Critic is an important tool to use with confidence and stress.

In my experience helping others to challenge their limiting belief involve 1) Acknowledge their accomplishments, big or small. Encourage them to journal thing they have done that they're proud of and made a positive impact to others. 2) Reflect on times that they considered a failures, think about what learnings they have got, and recognize how those learnings in the past has helped built a better outcome. Key to have a growth mindset, not perfectionism. 3) Recognize their strengths and things they do well and embrace on how they can use their strengths to accomplish work. It's important to understand their uniqueness and how they contribute as individuals. Recognize if there are skills to be improved, identify what actions can be taken.

In order to challenge limiting beliefs, you have to really get to the heart of them. That's often not simple, or easy, and takes patience on behalf of the coach and the client. Start by asking good questions, dig deep into not only what limiting beliefs exist, but where they came from, how long they've been around, why they're still here. Then allow space and time for processing. Now you've uncovered the root, and can start unlearning and relearning. From there, collaborate with a client and share tools and practices they can incorporate realistically to break down those beliefs and move beyond them toward confidence.

Pay attention to the Gremlins! Help your client to get know theirs and one by one work on each until they're quiet voices rather than loud ones demanding to be heard.

As a coach this is the most challenging and at the same time the most rewarding part of the coaching process for me. Addressing limiting beliefs tackles more than one problem at once. Helping a person to think through why that’s happening and put the cards on the table encourages them to see beyond such limitation and taking challenges that go above and beyond that. This is definitely the way to achieve whole new levels of success

The French proverb “La mémoire est une faculté qui oublie mais les écritures restent”, reminds us of how often we forget the positive moments in our busy lives. A recommended approach is to track your successes by writing in a designated notebook or journal and detail your progress. At the end of each week, set aside 30 minutes to pause and reflect on all the things that you've accomplished, big and small. Doodle in stars or smiley faces to visually remind yourself of the positive impact associated with those achievements. Down the line, documenting your accomplishments can serve as a source of inspiration for challenging situations, can help rebuild your confidence and remind you of your capacity to overcome difficult obstacles.

Absolutely, celebrating successes is essential for building confidence, but there's a nuance here. It's not only about the big wins; real growth often lies in those quieter, easily overlooked moments. I coach women to acknowledge the “small wins” in their journey - the hard conversations they initiated, boundaries set, or times they didn’t automatically say “yes” to every request. These are often the true confidence builders. One approach I encourage is a daily personal check-in. Ask yourself, “Did I challenge myself today? Did I stay aligned with my values?” This practice fosters an inner, sustainable confidence that isn’t dependent on external praise.

From my experience dealing with team members with different personality types, I believe that coaching those who lack confidence is a delicate process that involves building trust, identifying specific concerns, and helping them develop self-assurance. One of the ways I have been able to achieve this is by identifying specific areas of concerns they have, most of the time, it was related to their skills. I used my one-on-one meetings to focus on their area of strength, I celebrated their accomplishments in those areas and reminded them that for the other areas, they should remember that growth is about continuous improvement. I noticed that if they felt great in one area, it eventually cascaded to other areas.

Do regular reviews of what your client tried, what happened, what went well, what needs more practice. Help them practice. Help them set new little challenges so they can keep practicing. And review, review, review.