How do you build trust with people who see things differently?

In my journey of building meaningful relationships and fostering collaboration, I've come to understand the profound importance of demonstrating that you value someone's perspective. It's a practice that not only deepens connections but also opens doors to new insights and solutions. Central to this practice is the art of active listening and What's remarkable about this practice is how it nurtures trust and mutual respect. So, I encourage everyone to embrace the art of active listening in your own interactions. Make a conscious effort to value others' perspectives by giving them the space to express themselves fully.

By channelling authentic curiosity about who they are, what shapes their mindsets and values and leaning into conversations of meaning and substance, even when they are hard.

My approach in such a situation is to share that I am here to listen and to understand their perspective. The better I understand their perspectives and the reasons the better I can collaborate with them.

I wrote a book on how I healed my son off the austism spectrum. I started a support group and learned how to heal him all naturally.. and I did!! My book is called Blessed Chaos and it's on Amazon. I also coach doctors who believe in the VACCINE! So one day I finally asked: "Herald, I don't know why they would recommend a vaccine! It is something I would NEVER DO, knowing what I know!" Herald responded"Mary, yes, with every medical intervention, there are some that may have a different reaction than others. We do our best for everyone! I finally listened. We are all for the cure! We just handle it in different ways. We all want to do whats best - so talking and actively listening is the only way! Not fighting!

Listening actively, openly, with suspended bias/judgment, and noticing the subtle details when communicating--in less-than-ideal situations or conditions--IS harder than we think. In my own experience, giving and receiving deep and active listening has been a hard-earned skill that requires preventive maintenance. The baseline keeps shifting as I evolve; my tolerances and abilities keep developing because I remain committed to being a better listener. I remember the first deeply compassionate listener who set the tone for my adulthood. It wasn't my mother or father, sadly, and they did the best they could; it was a teacher in high school who set the tone for what I wanted more of. Who set the bar high for you?

I have discovered the incredible power of seeking to understand others' reasoning through open-ended questions. Moreover, seeking to understand through open-ended questions can diffuse tension and conflicts. In essence, the practice of asking open-ended questions to understand others' reasoning is a masterful tool for effective communication and building strong relationships. So, I encourage you to incorporate this practice into your own interactions. Always make a habit of asking open-ended questions to delve deeper into others' viewpoints.

Asking open-ended questions is a great way to hear various perspectives, and show that you're not trying to drive your own agenda into the conversation. You may be surprised with what you learn along the way!

As an executive communication Consultant, I help leaders speak, build their personal brand and teach from the stage or video. There is often the concern that their bosses will see them as a person getting ready to jump ship or start to work with Headhunters. I ask them how their relationship is (with the boss) and instead of telling them, I ask HOW can they become a better support to their bosses! Usually, it's by becoming a stronger leader - which is a more visible communicator.. exactly the thing I help them do. So by hearing their concerns, they answer their own obstacle and immediatly agree- they definitely need and want to grow. So their "growing their communication" benefits their current organization, and their future one!

Even leaders and celebrities have goals. The advantage I have, as a former celebrity agent, publicist and now coach, is to see where they CAN go and my greatest strength is helping them find their NICHE in a crowded market place. After I hear about their career and future goals, I quickly summarize and share their top strengths. They beem with pride for being acknowledged so personally. THEN, I share where they CAN go and what it is going to take to get there. I share what obstacles lie ahead. And ask- is this important to get to? They feel validated and challeged. I don't pressure. My guarantee feels good to them that I am capable to lead them to the promised land. And then I do! And then, they are happy and fulfilled!

I often work in controversial spaces, across roles and political values. But underneath all the differences are common threads. In the community and human services space, those threads are almost always a desire for a positive future for the next generation and a safe and supportive community in the present. Even today, even with deep divisions, the debate is less about the goals than about how we achieve them. If we can start with a common vision, and build from the places we agree, we can create trust and move further than we thought.

I work with a LOT of influencers in the DEI arena. (Diversity and inclusion). People are scrambling to be seen as innovators there. On occasion, I have had some of them project so much tension that it feels angry, hurt, & caustic. It isn't appealing, warm or caring. Instead of telling them. I share. I share how I have had prejudice against others who went to other colleges. (rivals!) How others don't like me for my outgoing personality and how it hurts. How others tried to hold me back. This is normal in humans. We just need to talk. When we share & experience things together, we come to understand. My stories have helped others "get" that we can work through anything - if we share from heart and find a common goal.

When talking to another, I always take notes. I circle subjects I like - to go back after. I dont interrupt. After they are done, I ask MORE questions to clarify. Then I go back and ACKNOWLEDGE and ENDORSE what I think is unique, brilliant and special. No matter who they are- they are AMAZED that they're special in any way. When I explain WHY they're different, they can't believe it. I'm open that I talk to a TON of people and I always find their uniqueness. Their deficits? They're well aware. Their specialness? they don't get. Yes, we can help with the weaknesses, but we want to do MORE of their strengths. This makes them feel GOOD and valuable. The relationship expands exponentially at that point. And we're both happy!

Keeping promises as a leader in spaces with a diversity of opinions can strengthen people trust in your ideas and actions. If keeping your word is something that is important to you, track those you made during a week or two. Test yourself and review how well you keep you promises and commitments to others. Then follow through with a returning note. One thing I find helpful is to use a notebook and write things down. It might sound simple, writing and then reading them after a certain time helps free the mind to focus on thinking then remembering not forget things.

Selling on Linkedin! Imagine: You get 1000 messages a day from wannabes & people who want to work with you. Like me, they have their assistants hitting up desirable clients & dream prospects. Tons of the people don't stand out at all. I'll tell you what is working for us in getting top notch appointments. 1. Have a killer Linkedin Profile w/video &/or daily posts. 2. Your references need to be GREAT - from REAL people! 3. Know the PROBLEMS of those you serve & give a guarantee. 4. Stop asking for appointments before you give value. 5. Peruse the profile before sending the "standard message". And no, I don't want to network with you! lol. I'm too busy working! And please bring me value-or get erased! And oh, be NICE!