How do you build resilience and avoid burnout when dealing with a toxic leader?

A toxic leader is usually self-centred and self-serving, driving their own agenda, and prioritising their interests above their team’s. They often refuse to take responsibility for mistakes. They can be charismatic and have good relationships with their seniors and key peers, but are generally disliked by their direct reports. Their high performance is often driven by insecurity rather than confidence, resulting in suppressing, belittling and knocking the confidence of others. They create a culture of fear and distrust. Additionally, they may undermine team cohesion, stifle creativity, ignore or dismiss feedback (don't often listen to others!), and foster a hostile work environment, leading to high turnover and low morale.

There are two major causes of toxic leadership: being an unkind/mean person and one who is masking incompetence. They manifest in the following ways, first for incompetence: Micromanagement Blame-shifting Lack of Vision Inconsistent Behavior Poor Communication When it comes to being a mean person, here are the signs: -Lack of Empathy -Favoritism -Gaslighting -Marginalizing

Burnout is a clear sign. But know it’s not you and has never been you. You can go above and beyond and it will never be enough if there is toxicity within. Self preservation all the way ??

Spotting a toxic leader is key to protecting yourself from their negative vibes. Look out for red flags like micromanaging, lousy communication, stirring up conflicts, or straight-up bullying. If they lack empathy, accountability, or integrity, watch out! Your gut feelings matter too—if you're feeling stressed, anxious, or drained, it's a big warning sign. And if you're losing your mojo or struggling to focus, it's time to hit the brakes and reassess things. Your well-being comes first!

> Limit interactions with the toxic leader, and prioritize self-care to maintain mental and emotional well-being. > Talk to trusted colleagues, friends, or family about your experiences, and consider seeking professional help if needed. > Keep a record of interactions and instances of toxic behavior to protect yourself and potentially use as evidence if necessary.

Once you've spotted a toxic leader, it's crucial to safeguard yourself. Setting boundaries is key—know what you're okay with and what's a no-go. Speak up about your needs and rights, and be firm about it. Minimize contact with the toxic leader, saying no when needed or passing tasks to others when you're swamped. Reach out for support from colleagues or loved ones—it's not a battle you have to fight alone. And cut off exposure to toxic vibes, whether it's dodging emails or steering clear of gossip. Your peace of mind matters most.

The barrier to setting boundaries for most is the inherent fear of repercussions on the part of the leader. To set boundaries, we need to feel safe in doing so, and research suggests that we find this safety in connection with coworkers. So to this I would add the recommendation that if one feels stress or fear at the thought of setting boundaries, which most of us do, build connections with coworkers who share your feelings and experience. From there, the group can approach managers or leaders (toxic or allies) with more authority or power, which gives more power to the boundaries, because there are greater perceived consequences.

Use this as an opportunity to learn how to grow personally and improve your communication skills to deal with a toxic leader. Remain true to who you are and don't stoop down to their level. You can control how you react. Remain calm. Be professional. Choose to act with respect, positivity and kindness. Avoid any drama. Try to interact only when necessary, avoiding them when you can. Spend time developing relationships with more positive people. This can help you tolerate the toxic leader a bit more.

Assuming a position of leadership comes with its own set of challenges, and individuals may exhibit toxic behavior as the weight of responsibility bears on them. During these situations oftentimes empathy may be the most effective strategy. In understanding different perspectives, we create an opportunity for recourse. First ask yourself, "Can I understand this person?", then follow that up with "Knowing what I know, how can I best communicate with this person?" Empathy does not require you to be kind or tolerant of toxicity, but it allows you to counter it in the most effective way possible.