How do you balance listening to your mentor's advice and trusting your own instincts?

I always enjoy my conversations with my mentor but I know that their advice and feedback is just one perspective to take into account. A mentor isn't your decision maker. They should be a resource and someone who can support and challenge your thinking to help you grow and think differently.

As a parent of three children and a step-father of one, I can attest to the fact that there is no blueprint for parenting. When it comes to ensuring children sleep, eat, and develop well, parents often give new parents specific advice. However, what works for one child and household can often not work for another. So Just like how parents must put their own spin on or disregard certain advice and guidance when raising their children, mentees must also adapt their mentor's guidance to their unique situation. This allows for a personalised approach that leads to greater success and fulfilment in life.

Eu acredito que quando recebemos qualquer orienta??o é fundamental usarmos o pensamento crítico antes de aplicá-la à nossa vida ou ao nosso trabalho. Por melhor intencionado ou fundamentado que seja o conselho, cada situa??o tem o seu contexto e isso pode exigir ajustes para que os passos sugeridos fa?am sentido. Sou muito favorável à utiliza??o de mentores (eu mesmo trabalho com isso) que quase sempre agregam perspectivas diferentes ao processo de tomada de decis?o, mas tudo tem que ser ponderado à luz da nova situa??o. Em adi??o, n?o sei se chamaria de intui??o a contraposi??o ao conselho. Sua decis?o pode bem estar baseada em dados e aprendizados que você já teve.

In any mentoring relationship it is vital to design your alliance. For me as a mentor, that means making it clear that I am just offering my perspective. It is important that the mentee listens to their own intuition and doesn't simply make my advice "right".

A really experienced mentor will also have the bandwidth and experience to draw from various mentee experiences and have the ability to adapt, adopt and diffuse different needs and circumstances to the situation.

I consider part of my role as a business mentor is to understand the core values and the background circumstances of my clients. By knowing the person and what lays behind their decision making I am in a much better position to guide them and reach the best decision that fits comfortably with them and their company.

Personal goals are the targets that you set for yourself based on your values, passions, strengths, and aspirations. They help define your direction, measure progress, and motivate your actions. A strong mentor who understands this will encourage you and provide a space to reflect on your accomplishments and challenges.

It is very important to first have a clear understanding you your own self, your own vision and long term goals. Only then you should look out for mentors who understand you and your vision and can relate with you. For someone to be a guiding light, it is important for them to resonate with you and for that you should know what you need. A mentor can never tell you what you need, but can definitely help streamlines your needs and wants and suggest multiple paths to achieve those. It is for your to choose which road to take basis you vision alignment.

Being in tune with how your body is reacting to feedback from your mentor is essential. We often ignore these internal cues, and unfortunately , we make decisions that aren’t aligned with our values. Notice if your heart rate increases, palms get sweaty, muscles get tense, leg starts bouncing, or gut feels in knots. These are all cues that you’re subconsciously experiencing uncomfortable emotions. Examine what about the feedback may be evoking this reaction. Is it that your mentor is nudging you outside of your comfort zone? Or is it that the feedback is inconsistent with your beliefs? Anxiety and fear can feel similar to misalignment, so it’s important to be curious and differentiate one from the other.

I have a couple of mentors and coaches I'm working with. In difficult life situations, when I'm faced with important choices, I schedule calls with them to hear their opinions. But it doesn't mean that I would blindly adopt and implement what they tell me. In the end, I always make my own choice. I listen to my gut feeling. Does it mean that talking to them was useless? Absolutely not. It gave me a new point of view; we brainstormed together, and I gained their valuable opinions. But, in the end, it's my own choice and my own responsibility, and I trust my gut feeling.

In my experience, a mentor’s advice is based on their own life journey and what they’ve been through hence listening to your gut feeling is key. I have been in situations where I felt that something is shady happening or that what’s been told is not what’s been happening and in testing that instinct , I got confirmations which continued nurturing my belief in following my calling. I’m a firm believer in “you know best”. Seeking advice or asking and getting clarity should not take place on what already feel and see.

While trusting your gut feeling is important, you also need to challenge yourself. Why are your resisting your mentor’s advice? Is it because it takes you out of your comfort zone and feels frightening? Or is your gut giving your legitimate and rational ideas? Sometimes we put up barriers without realising it so taking a step back to really question ourselves is important. And remember, your mentor isn’t there to tell you what to do. They are there to offer advice and to help you see things from a different perspective. Not taking the advice doesn’t mean that you don’t respect or value their input.

I once got given the advice of “prepare decisions with your head, and take them with your heart”. So far it has proven to be an unbeatable process to go through the logical steps of decision making and evaluate the options and then use my core values and gut feeling for making the decision.

Finding a balance between enough perspectives without an overwhelming array of them is essential. I use the concept of have a “board of directors”. These are 3 - 5 individuals in my life, which act as a managing board or council when I take big decisions. They are not permanent members and their backgrounds are diverse to make sure I gather a holistic perspective.

As a startup founder, I actively seek advice from different people who have different backgrounds. It's helpful to understand their process of thinking and to learn from their experiences. It also gives me a better full picture on the consequences that may come out of my decision. It can uncover new opportunities or ideas that I didn't even consider. Although it can be overwhelming, I tend to stand by the decisions I make with the information I had at that time. It could be right or wrong, but sometimes only time will tell. I just have to know that I did the best I could do by being proactive in understanding the risks, blind spots, assumptions, and options.

Do you know want to hear some good news? You are the scientist of your life and you can run as many experiments as you want to collect data to help you make the best decisions around your life. Perspectives are pieces of data that you choose or don’t choose to use to determine what direction is best for you. The more pieces of data you have, the more informed your decisions will be. You are always in control of your experiments.

The great thing to remember here is that you can always make another decision. If the thought of making a decision, especially a large decision about your career, is paralyzing, remember that no matter what, you can always make another decision and change the situation.

True. Just recently, before making an important life decision, I talked to my boyfriend, my parents, my mentor and coach, and even an esoteric expert ?? —whatever helps, let it be. These talks helped me a lot in making my decision in the end.

True. Share decisions with your mentor, respecting their advice, and provide feedback. Communication strengthens the mentor-mentee relationship, enhancing guidance and growth.

Balancing mentor advice and intuition is about harmony, not hierarchy. Mentors offer wisdom, but your instincts are unique. Find synergy, not conflict, to navigate your path. In the end, it's YOUR journey to shape ??

In my experience, the true responses are in ourselves. We should know our values, our perspective of life and then go to outside world to seek other viewpoints. At the end, each decision is the best we can make at the moment! So, trust ourselves and act!

An important question to ask of yourself when looking for a mentor is: - What wouldn’t you want them to know about you and how willing are you to share this? - What is the best way that someone can support you when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed? - What is likely to get in the way of you moving forwards and how would a mental best support with this?

??Here are three questions you can ask your mentor during your next conversation: ? Can you share a personal example about a time when _______ worked well and when it did not work well? ? How have your perspectives changed as you have taken advice from your mentors and their experiences? ? What lessons have you learned from your mentors and what impact have they had on you personally and professionally?

Mentorship is a journey that can often take you down unexpected paths, challenging your intuition along the way. It's akin to the first principles approach in thinking, which encourages you to question assumptions and strip away the layers to reveal new perspectives. A mentor's advice can serve as a compass, guiding you through uncharted territory. It may validate your existing beliefs or lead you to entirely unforeseen conclusions, emphasizing that true growth often occurs when you step out of your comfort zone.