Being assertive means expressing your opinions, needs, and boundaries in a respectful and confident way. It can help you communicate effectively, avoid conflicts, and achieve your goals in team projects. But how do you balance assertiveness with collaboration, flexibility, and empathy? Here are some tips to help you find the right level of assertiveness in team projects.
Before you start working on a team project, it's helpful to know your own assertiveness style and how it affects your interactions with others. There are four main styles: passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive. Passive people tend to avoid confrontation, agree with others, and sacrifice their own interests. Aggressive people tend to dominate, criticize, and intimidate others. Passive-aggressive people tend to express their resentment indirectly, through sarcasm, procrastination, or sabotage. Assertive people tend to express their views clearly, respectfully, and confidently, while listening to and acknowledging others' views. Knowing your style can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses, and adjust your behavior accordingly.
Know your subject well Understand the situation and different perspectives Listen carefully to understand Be straight & clear in your communication without hitting around the bush but at the same direct doesn't mean we have to be aggressive or offensive or rude Choose your words carefully, be polite yet assertive.
What you bring to the table consists of who you are and what you are about. That is what makes you special. As people we all have different perspectives and experiences that make us unique because we have different views of the world. Through our own lens we see lights and formations that have been created inside of us through our experiences and are part of our identity. Respecting others thoughts and beliefs is easier when you are in tune within and know your style, you implement a graceful touch.
Different situations may require different levels of assertiveness. For example, if you are working on a creative project that requires brainstorming and innovation, you may want to be more assertive in sharing your ideas and feedback. However, if you are working on a technical project that requires following specific guidelines and procedures, you may want to be more collaborative and flexible in following the instructions and rules. To understand the situation, you need to consider the goals, expectations, and norms of the project, as well as the personalities, roles, and relationships of the team members.
In order to be able to collaborate or to take part of something that involves others opinions efficiently, there has to be awareness of understanding dynamics in the room. The more you listen and allow others to feel heard (validated) the easier it can be to share your perspective and mesh ideas.
The words you use can make a big difference in how your assertiveness is perceived and received by others. You want to avoid words that are too harsh, vague, or defensive, and use words that are clear, polite, and constructive. For example, instead of saying "You're wrong" or "That's a stupid idea", you can say "I disagree" or "I have a different perspective". Instead of saying "Whatever" or "I don't care", you can say "I'm open to suggestions" or "I respect your opinion". Instead of saying "You always" or "You never", you can say "I noticed" or "I feel". Using words that show respect, interest, and feedback can help you communicate your assertiveness without alienating or offending others.
When you agree with someone’s take or statement and validate it you can follow up with a “ another way to look at it” or “ looking at this from a different lens” does not seem so offensive since your compliments have brought the contention walls down.
Assertiveness is not only about speaking up, but also about listening carefully. Listening actively means paying attention to what others are saying, showing interest and curiosity, asking questions, and paraphrasing or summarizing what you heard. Listening actively can help you understand others' perspectives, needs, and emotions, as well as build rapport and trust. It can also help you avoid misunderstandings, conflicts, and assumptions. By listening actively, you can show that you value others' contributions, and that you are willing to learn from them and collaborate with them.
Being assertive does not mean being rigid or stubborn. It means being able to adapt to changing circumstances, compromise when necessary, and accept feedback and criticism. Being flexible means recognizing that there may be more than one way to achieve a goal, that there may be valid reasons for others' opinions or actions, and that there may be room for improvement in your own performance. Being flexible means being open-minded, humble, and solution-oriented. It also means being able to say no when you need to, without feeling guilty or resentful. By being flexible, you can show that you are cooperative, reasonable, and respectful of others' boundaries.
Like any skill, assertiveness can be improved with practice. You can practice assertiveness by setting realistic and specific goals, seeking feedback and support, and reflecting on your progress and challenges. You can also practice assertiveness by observing and learning from others who are assertive, by reading books or articles on assertiveness, or by taking courses or workshops on assertiveness. Practicing assertiveness can help you boost your confidence, self-esteem, and communication skills. It can also help you achieve more satisfaction and success in your team projects.
Practising is crucial for developing assertiveness! Fortunately, assertiveness is a skill that can be learned. How we communicate affects success in any job and also our interactions with people outside of work. To improve our assertiveness at work, we should practice it with people in various situations, particularly outside of work. We need to consistently remember the meaning and principles of being assertive. Expressing our opinions clearly and respectfully, while also listening to and acknowledging others' views, is essential.