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How can you use silence to create a safe space for peers?

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Silence is often seen as awkward, uncomfortable, or even rude in some situations. However, when used intentionally and skillfully, silence can be a powerful tool for creating a safe space for peers. In this article, you will learn how silence can help you build trust, empathy, and understanding with your peers, and how to use it effectively in different scenarios.

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Veronica Gabriela Harrington Arraez

Operations Coordinator | Bachelor of Psychology

1 What is silence?

Silence is the absence of sound or speech. It can be intentional or unintentional, natural or artificial, positive or negative, depending on the context and the interpretation of the participants. In peer support, silence can be used as a communication strategy and a technique to facilitate a deeper connection and a more meaningful exchange with your peers.

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Veronica Gabriela Harrington Arraez

Operations Coordinator | Bachelor of Psychology
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Silence is a representation of self-control, in which the person only listens and analyzes their environment, as well as their ability to respond, evaluating pros and cons.

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2 Why is silence important?

Silence can have many benefits for peer support, such as showing respect, acceptance, and patience for your peer's feelings, thoughts, and pace; creating a space for your peer to process without interruption or judgment; reducing pressure, anxiety, and defensiveness; signaling attention, interest, and curiosity; conveying empathy, compassion, and solidarity; and fostering a sense of safety, trust, and rapport. All of these can help to encourage your peer to open up more and enhance your relationship.

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Florence Dambricourt

Leadership for a World in Movement | Helping Leaders and Teams Increase their Collaboration & Create Time | Self-Leadership Development | Team Coaching | DEI | Innovation | Speaker
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As a public speaker, I have always loved silences. They serve so many purposes - give myself time to regroup my ideas - allow myself time to drink some water and keep my voice healthy - offer time to my audience to integrate what I have just shared - create some suspense around which I can build a narrative, some tension, and then either drama or joke. As a self-leadership coach, I am even more in love with silences. With them I can hear my coachees pausing, integrating our conversation and embracing their growth mindset. As a team coach, it's even stronger. Silences often become the creation of the space the teams need to start sharing and to build up this psychological safety they will need to be able to create impact.

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3 How to use silence effectively?

Silence can be a powerful tool for peer support, but it also requires skill, sensitivity, and awareness to use it effectively. To ensure your silence is effective, be intentional and mindful about your use of it. Pay attention to your body language and facial expressions - use them to convey your presence, openness, and empathy. Also be attentive and responsive to your peer's cues, and adjust your silence accordingly. Respect your peer's preferences, boundaries, and needs - some may appreciate more silence while others may prefer more dialogue. Ask for permission, check in, and follow your peer's lead.

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Veronica Gabriela Harrington Arraez

Operations Coordinator | Bachelor of Psychology
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1. to demonstrate rapport and empathy about a situation, when someone tells you something important to them, before responding, silence is combined with a deep breath followed by soft and clear words 2. When someone offends you, giving a space of silence with a calm gesture allows you to demonstrate poise and confidence that regardless of the environment, you know who you are. 3.When you do not want to lose an important interpersonal relationship, remaining silent in a discussion allows you to take time to calmly evaluate the situation and respond empathically about how the situation has made you feel and think. 4.Remember to use silence as a tool that promotes peace and calm in you and prevents it from becoming a weapon to punish

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4 How to handle challenges with silence?

Silence can present some challenges for peer support, such as creating misunderstanding, confusion, or tension if misinterpreted or misaligned with expectations; triggering negative emotions like fear, guilt, or shame if perceived as rejection, criticism, or abandonment; and hindering communication, feedback, or resolution if excessive, prolonged, or inappropriate. To overcome these obstacles, you can clarify your intention and purpose for your silence, validate your peer's feelings and reactions, and negotiate your silence with them. For example, you could explain why you are using silence and what you hope to achieve with it; acknowledge and normalize their emotions and experiences; and ask for their feedback and consent for your silence.

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5 How to practice silence?

Silence is a skill that can be learned and improved with practice. To do this, try to be silent for a few minutes each day and observe your thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Notice how silence affects you and what you can learn from it. Additionally, be silent for a few minutes in various situations such as meetings, conversations, or social events to observe how it affects others. Ask for feedback from your peers, colleagues, or supervisors about your use of silence to determine what works well and what needs improvement.

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6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Veronica Gabriela Harrington Arraez

Operations Coordinator | Bachelor of Psychology
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I tend to be a very argumentative person, I really like to participate, explain and also listen to interesting theories from others, however I noticed that this great energy made me seem impulsive even when the information was valuable was overshadowed by a galloping speech , the patience and control that silence requires is a way to delimit the need for recognition, to identify the brilliance that is in others, to show respect for what they say and therefore receive the same respect that we give, silence is a valuable tool that leads us to be wise

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How can you use silence to create a safe space for peers?

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4

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1 What is silence?

2 Why is silence important?

3 How to use silence effectively?

4 How to handle challenges with silence?

5 How to practice silence?

6 Here’s what else to consider

Peer Support

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How can you use silence to create a safe space for peers?

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 What is silence?

2 Why is silence important?

3 How to use silence effectively?

4 How to handle challenges with silence?

5 How to practice silence?

6 Here’s what else to consider

Peer Support

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