How can you use resilience to turn obstacles into opportunities?

I was with a patient who received a diagnosis that was not life-threatening but still serious. To this patient, though, it was as if they were told they had but days to live. Helping this person reshape what impact it would have on their life and helping them to see they can take control of the outcome allowed them better control over their feelings of fear, helplessness, and anxiety. When we face an obstacle, one of the most significant emotional tolls comes from the unknown. We usually go to the worst-case scenario (WCS). This is to protect us so if the WCS happens, we are ready for it. If the WCS does not occur, we feel like we dodged a bullet. Define the obstacle, plan out your approach, and take it one day at a time.

After this patient could reframe their diagnosis, we could begin to formulate a plan for proceeding. I walked with them in their quest for meaning and opportunities. The meaning escaped them, which is fine; sometimes, we can't make meaning out of what is happening. But this patient could see that this would force them to learn patience, self-compassion, and better self-care. This patient changed the fear of the unknown into an opportunity for them to come out the other side a better, stronger, more compassionate, and more self-loving than they ever would have had this diagnosis not occurred. Even in the darkest moments, we can usually find some light if we look hard enough.

After the shock wore off and determination kicked in this patient and I were able to come together to formulate a plan. The feelings of anxiety now reshaped, and the understanding that this could make them a better person all pushed this patient to the other side of the illness. At first, we could only plan what they would be mentally capable of doing for a few days. Great, that's a start. Then we went to a week, a month, and even long-term plans. We made reverse plans. We started with realistic, achievable goals and worked backward on how to achieve those. We identified people who would walk with us to support each other. We placed where the patient's strengths and weaknesses were and then took them one by one on how to overcome them.

Once we got the plan in place and the people we needed by our side, we could start the journey. We set goals that we could measure and know when we hit that goal. We sought feedback and encouragement from the people around us. We picked the patient up and carried them when they couldn't walk on their own (metaphorically). We didn't succeed in some plans, but we learned from what didn't work and what did and tried again. When something didn't work, we tried something different. We never failed; we just learned what worked and what needed to be tweaked to work the next time. Patience and perseverance got us to the other side. With each passing day that a plan came together or came to fruition, this patient grew in confidence, stability,

Sometimes, obstacles and challenges will require us to change our lives fundamentally. That is scary and hard to go through, but it is usually not as bad as it seems. Redefine what normalcy is to you. What do you want your new normal to look like? What things are important to you? Find ways to incorporate that into your life again so that you are now made up of some of the old you and some of the new, more vital you. Redefining what "normal" is to you can help you embrace where you are and where you are headed. You have already overcome the worst days you have ever experienced. You have overcome those obstacles, and you will overcome these!