How can you use EI to improve virtual team performance?

I’m a strong sponsor of hybrid work: the working from home experience gives employees a great sense of independence and autonomy while boosting their responsibility and promoting trust. For example for working mums, working from home is a stress relief, for workers with long commuting time, it’s a liberation! To me, EI starts there: being a leader that trusts her/his team and accepts and supports that the team works from home. The leader might need to make an additional effort to keep the team connected but the results in terms of motivation, gratitude and commitment are worth it. When it comes to global teams, where remote relations are the only option, EI teaches that everyone’ s voice needs to be heard: a leader shall simply give space!

In virtual teams, you miss out on all the micro-interactions you have with coworkers in the office. Thus, in virtual teams, leaders miss out on countless opportunities to get to know the people behind the work. If you don’t know the people behind the work, you will struggle to: - Support - Motivate - Understand working styles - Build connection and relationship - Learn what is important to them How can you expect to build strong teams when none of those things can be achieved. Here is one simple way leaders can still get to know their virtual teams: Start each meeting with a check-ins: Talk about what is going on in life, how they spent their weekends, interests and hobbies, etc. Anything but work!

Even though virtual team is usually support by online platforms, to foster a personal connection between coworkers, which cannot be taken away from any successful team, off line connections or in person team building activities are critical.

Sharing here 3 key elements I have found helpful: 1. Communicating with EI: - Words: Using curiosity/exploration and welcoming words(instead of questioning/judging) - Voice: The right tone of voice - Nonverbal: One might say body language playa little role in virtual world, however engaging, right facial expressions(camera on is a must for me) does wonders 2. Culture: - Facilitate empathy and transparency - Feedback exchange forums - Awareness of biases 3. Connect: - Connect 1:1 and in groups to know each other better - Ask and encourage asking better(curiosity) questions - Paying attention to the non-verbal cures

I’ve found that tests and surveys are just starters to ultimately help develop empathy. Empathy is one of the key skills for emotional intelligence. When was the last time you reflected back in a conversation and asked “what could the other person have been thinking?”? Making that a practice can do wonders to improve your empathy in the moment. And other helpful tactic to improve your empathy: read rich fiction. Think about it, the author will often take great lengths to put you in the character’s shoes. Sounds a lot like empathy to me! So understand that empathy is a skill and like all skills, they get better with practice!

In addition to everything mentioned above, another effective tool is the communication preference worksheet. In previous roles I have created a worksheet that direct reports fill out explaining how they like to receive communication (verbal, instant messaging, email) and also what type of feedback cadence makes them feel comfortable. Daily check-ins for the sake of “communication” feels like micromanagement but monthly can feel like an eternity. Asking these questions and providing the worksheet also builds trust and empathy amongst the team. Try it out on your team and measure the results!

Sharing here 3 key elements I have found helpful on Communicating with EI: - Words: Using curiosity/exploration and welcoming words and questions to invite perspectives (instead of questioning/judging) - Tone: The right tone of voice and personified tone of conversation while conversing with diverse personalities - Nonverbal: One might say body language playa little role in virtual world, however engaging, right facial expressions(camera on is a must for me) does wonders. At the same, pay attention to non-verbal cues

In virtual settings, communicating with others and making sure the messages are received and understood can be challenging. An emotionally intelligent person knows that people are different thus they have different preferences in how they communicate

Equally important is identifying the role as a listener. Is the person talking to you to get advice? Or are they simply seeking some empathy? It's often better to start off conversation by clarifying that, especially when you're unsure. Being heard doesn't always equal getting solutions in response. As important as listening to the other person is, it's equally important to let them know you're listening. For example, don't be texting someone or looking at some open document while on a virtual call when talking to someone. That's very demotivating and can risk people closing off

Emotional Intelligence enhances virtual team performance through self-awareness, empathy, and improved communication. Team members who are emotionally aware can better manage their own reactions and reduce conflicts. Empathy fosters understanding and respect among team members, while effective communication in virtual settings is crucial for clarity and cooperation. EI also aids in conflict resolution, trust-building, motivation, and adapting to changing circumstances within remote teams.

We need to show empathy with a Mission and Purpose to Serve Others from a place of understanding without judging that comes from a heart filled with a passion to uplift, support and encourage others to bring out the Best Version of themselves.

It's hard to have true empathy if you haven't experienced, the other person's life events, that concluded, who they have become. However, if there is no equal life event experience, compassion, is a great replacement for empathy. It is the prerequisite state achieved by asking enough in order to feel the compassion to relate and place oneself in the shoes of another. That's my 2 pence.

Empathy requires self-awareness. People are biased and developing empathy helps to be conscious about these biases. If you are struggling in showing empathy when you disagree with someone, try to be curious. Showing curiousity will help you in coming across less judgemental

Few things that help me cultivate more empathy: 1. I challenge myself, my own beliefs and assumptions. Engaging in exploration and curiosity questions helps with broader perspectives 2. I try new things that keep me humble. Helps me understand how others feel when faced with a challenge 3. I asked my father once - how well do you think I listen? His answer gave me insightful feedback.

Empathy cannot be forced. Yes it is crucial. What can be practiced instead is to ensure people build firm boundaries and respect that of others. If you can't empathize, do not cross the boundaries. Stay and avoid causing damage. A lot of company values or life values are ideals, some people struggle to follow them. Hence the idea is to know what to do and how to express if one doesn't know how to help, emphasize or feel sorry.

My key is a power of pause. And in that pause, reflect. Like already mentioned journaling helps. In addition, self-dialogue, reflection with focus on how & what, and mindful response make a difference.

Using emotional intelligence (EI) to manage negative emotions involves two important steps: reframing the situation and accepting our emotions. First, reframing allows us to shift our perspective and view a situation in a more positive or constructive light. By challenging negative thoughts and finding alternative interpretations, we can better evaluate the situation and find solutions or opportunities for growth. Secondly, accepting our emotions is crucial for effectively managing them. Instead of suppressing or denying our feelings, we acknowledge and validate them. This self-acceptance creates space for self-compassion and understanding, enabling us to navigate our emotions more healthily and positively.

In the moment when the negative emotions emerge during a virtual meeting, the advise is to not make any judgements. Identify them, identify the cause and try to regulate them. Sometimes you'll not succeed, and that's alright. If you can, defer the associated decision for some time. Take a break to do something unrelated to try moving beyond the situation. Having someone as your soundboard also helps work your way through the emotions. EI for me in these situations is getting my response out in a manner understandable by the other party - even if it's different from theirs - without either side feeling agitated or worse.

Acceptance plays a pivotal role in managing emotions, in any given situation. The faster you train yourself to accept, the faster you gain control of your reaction's, circumstance's and become effective and productive again. Free to focus on the solution and not get caught in wasteful, perceived problem. You're now free to choose a positive outlook, no matter what the situation, person or circumstance: That is true power.

An often overlooked aspect of managing emotions is the neuroscience behind what triggers certain emotional reactions in us. A simple way to begin is by learning the signals your body is giving you when you're staring to feel an emotional reaction coming on. Is your heart starting to race? Is your face getting hot? Is there a tightness in your stomach and it's getting difficult to breathe? In understanding the signals your body is giving you when you start to feel certain emotions, you can learn to decipher if you're staying in your higher reasoning, executive functioning brain or if you're about to lose your cool and get hijacked by your survival oriented lizard brain. This will come in especially handy when it comes to handling conflict.

Meeting in the middle, is a good way to start resolving conflicts. Once both parties can identify their common goals, they perhaps can see how each of their behaviors may or may not hinder achieving that goal.

Conflicts are perceived as threats by the limbic system and they cause unconscious reactions usually. Emotional intelligence helps people deal with the issue of the conflict rather than the person with this issue

Your going to find it harder to resolve a conflict if you have an underlying low self-esteem. Your ego is going to want to jump in and that will sabotage the positive out come. Dont go in with a pre judgement of who is most likely guilty, autonomy must be the place you start from as a leader. Make a joke if you need to believe me no one wanted to be in the situation. Then get serious and focus, listen with your instinct, eyes and ears. Listen for what is fact and what is not: discover the facts and confirm them back to the individuals. Often when we are angry fact's get lost, it's a good way to bring people back to owning they're part in the situation and a fair outcome. Rinse, repeat.

As Sharara pointed out, conflict is perceived as threat in the limbic system (the survival oriented, lizard brain). That's why when learning about managing emotions understanding the signals and cues your body is giving you helps you know what part of your brain you're in. When you start to feel that whoosh of emotions, your face gets hot, and your blood pressure rises you know your executive functioning brain is about to get hijacked by your lizard brain. The lizard brain hijack is what leads to conflict in the first place - especially when you have two lizard brains competing with each other for positioning. The best conflict resolution skill is learning how to keep your higher reasoning, executive functioning brain online.

As someone who does training in conflict management, I emphasize not all conflict is bad or toxic. Conflict is simply defined as any differing preference, opinion, objective, etc. Conflict = two people wanting different things for lunch. In general, when people discuss “conflict”, they are speaking to mismanaged conflict marked by raised voices, some form of threat, or outright violence. Learning to manage conflict involves understanding your positional and personal power . It is also about effectively managing your personal internal dynamics of all the meanings and feelings attached to what anger/conflict means. A CNS response to conflict is not about the conflict itself. It is about feeling your safety is threatened in some way.

While seeking feedback, it’s also important from whom would you like the feedback from, surely not someone who has no opinion, or someone who only provides feedback which we want to hear. To improvise things further and to grow the best of devils advocate helps us by challenging our perspective and leading us to bring in or consider new aspects. Sometimes while we think this will make you redo everything but how it actually helps us is to make things simpler and achievable.

In a work environment, there are many opportunities for feedback regardless of whether you seek it out or not. The more important question is how you receive feedback as many people do not know how to give feedback that is helpful and kind, especially if unsolicited. 1. Seeking feedback can help with the sting of hearing where you need to improve to move forward with your career. By asking, you have invited and given permission to others to speak candidly with you. 2. Be clear about how you would like to receive feedback. 3. Know that feedback is someone else’s opinion. “Eat the fish; leave the bones.” In other words, take what is valuable and leave the rest. 4. Be discerning of who you ask to give you feedback.

Seeking feedback in virtual teams will help cultivate emotional intelligence and boost performance. Having a regular communication loop with feedback will not only drive continuous improvement, it will strengthen team bonds and help teams adapt to challenges. This is due to the fact that feedback enhances self-awareness, improves communication, builds trust, and supports conflict resolution. Additionally, recognizing and appreciating each other's contributions will help to nurture emotional intelligence, as these actions collectively contribute to a more emotionally intelligent and successful team. Essentially, for virtual teams, creating a feedback-friendly culture and providing feedback training are key for success.

When leaders value real feedback, they allow the team to share their feedback prior to sharing their own thoughts and ideas. By not influencing or leading the team down a trail you’ve blazed, you’re team will feel more confident in sharing, and asking follow up questions will help them to further develop their ideas.

I view feedback as an exchange. This approach leads to a sharing session and more than the traditional unproductive method. It is to understand the perspective of others, know the loopholes which are then followed by decoding the wider gaps, human potentials and maybe identifying new skills!

Make space for water-cooler-type conversations. In a virtual environment, we have to be proactive about creating opportunities to connect personally or we'll risk becoming too transactional. For example, to start each team meeting with some kind of check-in, whether that's "How's your weekend?" or "Our workload recently went up, what have you found helpful in managing the recent spike?"

How to pull real into virtual Set a precedence, start the virtual meeting with a human element, some kind insight into you, your thoughts around something recent, even how you felt. In the world of virtual, real is a blessing and transcends the environment.

Recognize that trying to read the emotions of people on zoom calls is very draining. The medium doesn't lend itself to picking up on physical cues, and our emotional intelligence gets fatigued. Give people space to rest and rest between calls, let people take short breaks where their cameras are off and they aren't trying to read body language through cameras.