How can you use criticism to improve your emotional intelligence?

When you spend a lot of time on something and present it to the world or to your manager, it can be very heartbreaking to hear anything that is negative. It feels like a rejection of you and all the hours you put in. The feeling of rejection does not sit well with you, but it's important to differentiate between the rejection of you versus your work. When someone tells you that your design is bad are they criticising the design made or are they criticising your skills as a designer it's important to understand the difference here. So take a step back and be mindful of what you're going through, put a label on these feelings if necessary, and give yourself the compassion you need to understand that the feedback isn't personal.

In trying to understand what is being rejected, you need to understand what areas need to be improved. For example, if an article you have written comes back with some suggestions, you need to be confident enough to ask what needs to be improved. Clarify whatever needs clarification. Because when you ask for clarification, it lets you take a step back and see what needs improvement without it feeling personal. Use the space and use the clarification to avoid miscommunication. You are more likely to grow as an individual when you feel confident to ask for more clarity without the fear of judgement or the impact on your ego.

A great hack to evaluate criticism from an emotional intelligence lens is to pretend that you're actually looking at the feedback of someone else's work. When you detach yourself from the work in front of you, it clears of all the biases. You are more likely to suggest feedback for someone else's work than to yours because as a non-biased person, you can see what areas need to be improved. But since you're so close to what you're working on, you may miss out on what improvements need to be made. And the more emotional, you are the less likely you want to take the criticism in a positive way. The best way to take feedback is in a list. Ask for a list of feedback or suggestions and then look at that list with an outsider lens.

Perhaps we need to change the word criticism to feedback because that shift in word is a shift in mindset which allows us to look at any areas of improvements as something that would benefit us in the long run. When someone gives you a list of feedback, you can look at how you see yourself improving and becoming better in the long run. A great way to do this is to also set goals for yourself and also opt for courses or watch tutorials on how you can avoid making similar errors in the future.

When someone offers you criticism, the first thing you need to do is tell them "thank you", because what they are doing for you is actually a brilliant path with which you can improve. Do this without hesitating. Next, when you are looking at the list of criticism or feedback, check how much of this would actually apply to you versus how many seem irrelevant based on your experience. Not all criticism will help you grow. Some criticism comes from a place of lack of information.