How can you read someone's body language to detect stress?

In my experience working with fast-growth companies, where stress and uncertainty are common, it's crucial to recognize when you and your team members are stressed. Stress triggers our "fight or flight" response, impacting the quality of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. These, in turn, can adversely affect our relationships, results, and the overall performance of the company.

People under stress might exhibit behaviors like nail-biting, hair-twisting, or pacing. Sweating, flushed skin, and rapid breathing can also be physical indicators. It's important to note that these signs can vary from person to person, so it's essential to consider them in context and in conjunction with other cues to accurately gauge someone's emotional state.

I believe it's all about developing emotional intelligence. I've tried NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) techniques and it helps. Knowing yourself and identifying the personality type of the person you're dealing with is also important.

Another approach I've found useful for expediting your understanding of the situation and moving closer to resolution is to openly share what you're noticing and ask the person to confirm or correct your interpretation. Start with, "I may be off here, but I noticed a change in your tone when we started discussing X. Am I interpreting that correctly?" This approach signals that you're open and curious, enabling you to gather meaningful information about the situation from the person.

Engaging in communication with someone who is displaying signs of discomfort or stress can be a challenge. One way to humanize the communication and make a safe space for dialogue is to acknowledge that they are showing signs of discomfort and bring awareness to how you might have contributed to the discomfort. Then invite them to share how they are feeling in that moment.

In 3 words, I would say : 1.Listen. 2. Empathize. 3. Encourage self-care. At times we may need to understand that the change is supposed to come from the person. We can't force them to do what they're not comfortable with...

Offer support and validation. Additionally, active listening and showing empathy can go a long way in making the person feel understood and cared for. You can research and implement the Samaritan’s ‘SHUSH’ active listening framework

Since most of the non-verbal communication is done unconsciously, I found it useful to do simulations and ask people to provide feedback up front on the body language topic specifically. Share what energy you are looking to project and how you think to achieve that. Afterwards verify if you and the observer/coach are aligned on your performance and anything you may do better next time. Of course you can always ask anybody you trust (colleague, manager, customer, etc.) to do the same in actual situations. The more feedback, the better the improvement.

Make sure that you build a culture of support, where it’s okay for people to show “weakness” and ensure that people know that you’re a person they can talk to in times of need.