How can you proactively and respectfully ask for constructive feedback?

1 Choose the right person

Not everyone can give you constructive feedback, so you need to carefully select who you ask. Ideally, you want someone who has relevant experience, knowledge, or skills in the area you want to improve, and who can be honest, respectful, and supportive. You also want someone who has observed your work or behavior, and who can provide specific examples and suggestions. Avoid asking people who are too busy, biased, or uninterested in your development.

2 Prepare your questions

Before you ask for feedback, it's important to have a clear idea of what you want to learn and improve. Consider your goals, strengths, and weaknesses, and pinpoint the areas where you need more guidance or feedback. Then, create some open-ended questions that invite constructive criticism, such as what have you done well and what could you do better in this project? How can you improve your communication or collaboration skills with the team? What skills or knowledge gaps do you need to address to advance in your career? Asking these questions can help you get the most out of the feedback you receive.

3 Ask at the right time

Timing is important when you ask for feedback, as it can affect the quality and quantity of the response. You don't want to ask for feedback when the person is busy, stressed, or distracted, as they might not have the time or attention to give you meaningful feedback. You also don't want to ask for feedback too soon or too late after an event or activity, as the details might be fuzzy or irrelevant. A good time to ask for feedback is when the person is relaxed, available, and in a positive mood, and when the event or activity is still fresh and relevant in their mind.

4 Listen with gratitude

When you receive feedback, it's important to demonstrate appreciation and respect for the person's opinion and effort. Listen attentively and actively without interruption, disagreement, or defensiveness. Ask questions for clarification if something is not understood, and thank them for their feedback. Additionally, summarizing what was heard and repeating the key points can show that the feedback was understood. For example, expressing gratitude for the feedback and acknowledging that the client request was handled well but presentation skills could be improved with more visuals and data. Or thanking them for their input and affirming good communication skills, while needing to work on collaboration by involving others more in decision-making.

5 Act on the feedback

The last step is to use the feedback to improve your performance or behavior. Considering any feedback you receive carefully and objectively is important, and it's wise to identify the most relevant and actionable advice. Create a plan to apply this advice to your work or personal life, and don't forget to follow up with the person who gave you the feedback. This will demonstrate that you value their opinion and are dedicated to your growth. For example, after receiving feedback on presentation skills, you might thank the person for their advice and inform them that you used more visuals and data in your last presentation, which was met with positive feedback from the audience and manager. Alternatively, if you receive feedback on collaboration skills, you could follow up by informing them that involving others more in the decision-making process has resulted in a more engaged and productive team.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?