How can you practice empathy with patients without getting too emotionally involved?

Without empathy in a therapeutic relationship it would be devoid of genuine understanding, warmth, or the ability to move forward. Too much empathy moves the relationship into a place where one might be too subjective whereas too little may come across as cold & clinical. I believe it’s important to be extremely self aware & have a plan where you have the clients goals & expectations clearly defined. For me, too much empathy is where you’re unable to leave it at work, be emotionally consumed by it & no longer able to rationlise one’s own boundaries and or emotions. Good self care, reflection & external supervision is pivotal to me.

Providing moral support to healthcare professionals is very important. Something as simple as discussing the emotional aspects as a team can help offload the burden of being too involved.

Its starts with self awareness, and allowing yourself to enter their worldview and try to understand what it must feel for them to experience loss, hardships and powerlessness. However, the difference between feeling empathy and taking on what is yours is not to fix; clients dont need a fixer. They want someone to assist them through their journey. Self-awareness when you are getting too invested is KEY. Be mindful of your role, and theirs; Responsibility. Countertransference is another reminder to keep in mind/ self reflect.

We often talk about boundaries without necessarily understanding them. One example that your boundary has been violated is the uneasiness you feel in your 'gut' or other parts of your body and/or a feeling frustrated after a meeting you had. It might be useful to debrief with yourself of what was exactly the unspoken rule that was respected wither by you or the other person. Boundaries is a complex issue because sometimes it us professionals that are not aware of our won boundaries and, hence, we neglect them first ourselves. We want to do the best for your patients/ clients and, yet, we often forget that they have their own will and they can make their our decisions, which we might not agree with. We need to acknowledge and respect them

Keep in mind that a boundary is not a wall. You can find the gate to get through the fence when it is necessary, but a brick wall has no way to get to the other side unless it's knocked by force. A lot of people think that it's important to have these hard, impenetrable boundaries but it's actually safer and less work to build a fence instead of a wall.

Self awareness is sometimes easier said than done as it involves encountering difficult and painful feelings. Often professionals find it easier to deal with their patients'/ clients' problems than addressing their own. Having empathy it is a wonderful feeling to have for another human being and it is to be honoured and celebrated! But, is it really coming from a place of freedom and choice or from a programmed and expected place of the professional being the 'saviour' or 'helper'. How do our patients'/clients' situations make us feel? Have we had similar experiences and what stance would we take? Sometimes, self awareness is just about taking a step back and look at what are bringing in from our own experiences

An important way to build self-awareness is through supervision and consultation with more experienced providers. Their wisdom and perspective can help you learn about yourself and your counter-transference in order to provide supportive and appropriate services.

Self-awareness should begin with the mental health practitioners own therapy. In Ireland it is a requirement that all students of an accredited counselling course seek therapy. If you do not deal with what you have gone through, you are leaving yourself vulnerable that what your client brings up could trigger you, which will take you out of the mindset you need to be in to best support your client.

Self-compassion is often obliterated by perfectionism. Striving to always "do it right" can get in the way of actually learning, listening, and connecting. While we have metrics, ethics, and standards of practice, every situation is unique and may not have a "correct" or perfect way to handle the situation. Self-compassion allows for the humanity of provider and client to always be honored.

Constant clinical supervision and peer supervision is essential to stay on top of your own triggers and how a client might be triggering you. Having a supervisor that you trust and professionally respect means you feel safe being vulnerable about ways a client might trigger you. Remember, it is very human to be automatically triggered, if a new client walks in and they physically remind you of a person in your past that was toxic. Or a clients morals and ethics may not align with your own, so make sure you keep self-aware and externalise these thoughts and feelings with a professional in your field.

It is helpful to recognize your own "rescuer" role and understand that you cannot fix or rescue anyone. You hold space for people's pain and you can have empathy and compassion, but you cannot rescue anyone. Pain is the portal for growth and evolution and your role is to guide people in their journey and empower them to heal themselves. It is important to detach from the outcome and understand that each person has to take accountability for their own healing. You cannot meditate, journal, do breathwork or exercise for your clients, you cannot jump into their minds and bodies and do the work for them, but you can help them to become aware and empower them with the tools to heal.

Remember to consider 2 filters: Your Personal Filter and the Professional Filter. It is natural engaging with another human can illicit thoughts and feelings inside you (personal) but maintain your professional role. The client does not need another friend, they need the session to be all about them, to feel heard, validated and professionally cared for. By maintaining your own professional 'mask' and be able to remove it after work, via self-care and practice, you will be able to provide professional empathy not personal empathy. A mental health practitioner is in a Caring Role, not a Fix-It role. You bring your expertise to the therapy and it is then up to the client to share and to choose to take the tools and support you are offering.