How can you negotiate without trust?

1 Assess the situation

Before you enter a negotiation, you need to assess the level of trust and the sources of distrust between you and the other party. Trust can be based on three factors: competence, integrity, and benevolence. Competence refers to the ability and expertise of the party to deliver on their promises. Integrity refers to the honesty and consistency of the party's words and actions. Benevolence refers to the goodwill and care that the party shows for your interests and needs. You can use these factors to evaluate how much you can trust the other party, and what areas you need to be cautious about.

2 Establish ground rules

One way to negotiate without trust is to establish clear and explicit ground rules for the negotiation process. Ground rules are the norms and expectations that guide the behavior and communication of the parties. They can cover topics such as the agenda, the roles, the deadlines, the confidentiality, the decision-making criteria, and the dispute resolution mechanisms. By setting ground rules, you can reduce ambiguity, prevent misunderstandings, and create accountability. You can also use ground rules to signal your professionalism and credibility, and to encourage the other party to reciprocate.

3 Focus on interests, not positions

Another way to negotiate without trust is to focus on the underlying interests, not the superficial positions, of both parties. Interests are the needs, goals, values, and motivations that drive the parties to negotiate. Positions are the specific demands or proposals that the parties make to satisfy their interests. Focusing on positions can lead to a competitive and adversarial negotiation, where the parties try to win at the expense of each other. Focusing on interests can lead to a collaborative and creative negotiation, where the parties try to find common ground and generate options that benefit both sides.

4 Use objective criteria

A third way to negotiate without trust is to use objective criteria to evaluate and justify your proposals and requests. Objective criteria are external standards or benchmarks that are independent, verifiable, and legitimate. They can include market prices, industry standards, expert opinions, legal precedents, or scientific data. By using objective criteria, you can avoid relying on subjective opinions or emotions, which can be influenced by distrust or bias. You can also use objective criteria to persuade the other party to accept your proposals or requests, or to explain why you reject theirs.

7 Manage your emotions

A sixth way to negotiate without trust is to manage your emotions during the negotiation. Negotiating without trust can trigger negative emotions such as anger, frustration, fear, or anxiety. These emotions can impair your judgment, affect your behavior, and escalate the conflict. To manage your emotions, you need to be aware of them, acknowledge them, and regulate them. You can use techniques such as breathing, meditation, positive self-talk, or reframing to calm yourself and cope with stress. You can also use empathy, humor, or apology to diffuse tension and restore trust.