How can you manage your emotions during difficult conversations with executives?

When you are emotional it's hard to think straight. My two top tips for managing your emotions with your exec, at a funeral, anywhere that is upsetting you are as follows: 1. Look up! Yes - with both eye balls! It stimulates the visual part in your brain and moves you out of your emotional part. Stops the tears every time! 2. Do basic maths in your head: 1+4 = 5, 6+9 = 15 - that kind of thing - again it helps you shift to your logical brain and out of the emotional one. Good luck!

My most favourite technique is a mnemonic "Siberian North Rail Road" or SBNRR made popular by SIY (Search Inside Yourself) by Google and is a part of their Google Leadership Trainings...this method consist of 5 steps- try this 1. Stop : most important step - just stop. Take a moment. 2. Breathe: Take a deep breath. Take a few more...breathing calms your amygdala in your brain. 3. Notice: what emotions are your experiencing in this moment? Where you experiencing in your body. Are these emotions in proportion or out of proportion with the triggers(whatever was the triggering event)? 4. Reflect: what is causing this emotion? Is there a story? 5. Respond: think of all possible responses and choose the kindest and most compassionate one.

I find it helpful to break down difficult conversations. First, if an executive has a right to be upset, acknowledge it. And if you messed up, own up to it. Then, talk about what you'll do differently in the future. Second, if you're in a situation where you're triggered (and not in the wrong), focus on what you can control. What is the purpose of the conversation? What have you committed to? What have you delivered? State the facts. Third, if you're being unfairly criticized or dismissed, don't argue. Unless there's an ethical concern or someone is way out of line, it's not worth the energy to engage. Let them finish, document the conversation, then take a breather.

One way to be more prepare for this is to work on our EQ. part of it is having a higher self awareness and that includes being aware of what is our trigger points. By looking within and take charge or what's within,we are unlikely to responding with Emotional response. Some one with high EQ will also have trained themselves to have emotion regulation, so they will be more prepared.

Be honest and let them know you are facing some difficulties. Don’t pretend but certainly be calm. If you need more time , be upfront too . Nothing beats honesty .

One of the most effective breathing techniques is called: Box Breathing. It was developed by Navy Seals to help operators in combat situations. It was adopted by many business leaders ahead of crucial events. It is called box breathing as it consists of four steps: 1) 4 secs breathing in through your nose; 2) 4 secs hold; 3) 4 secs breathing out through you mouth; 4) 4 secs hold. You can repeat this cycle 3-5 times. Observe if this technique works for you.

?? Walk in My Shoes: Inviting someone to view the situation from your perspective. ?? The Human Touch: Remember, humor is a bridge. A light-hearted comment can sometimes be the perfect defuser for a charged atmosphere, bringing everyone back to common ground. ?The Perfect Comeback: Ever think of the perfect response after the conversation ends? Same here. But I've learned that it's never too late for that perfect insight. Following up with a message or an email can reopen the door to discussions that seemed closed, providing a fresh opportunity to address unresolved issues.

Whenever I feel the trigger I too breath slowly and take a long breath to delay my reaction to, which has lessened down the way i used to react in harsh way before.

Pause and breathe is the wisest advice for people who would love to stay ‘Centered and composed’ even when they are facing irrational or tough people. They say, ‘boiling water doesn’t reflect’. Hence, it is very smart to remain composed specially when you are revealing with tough situations and tough people.

In the space between reaction and response, consider what your feelings are saying. Is there an important message? It might seem easier to ignore or reduce the volume on some emotions, however being honest with yourself and others about your experienced emotions might just pave the way towards better understanding and connection.

Positive self-talk, a key aspect of emotional intelligence, aligns with the 6 Seconds philosophy to enhance self-awareness and choice. Shifting from negative to positive inner dialogue boosts confidence, resilience, and motivation. Remind yourself of your strengths and value, especially in challenging situations. This practice not only improves self-esteem but also encourages constructive communication. Utilizing 6 Seconds tools, like the SEI, can help identify and transform emotional patterns, fostering a mindset of empowerment over doubt. Positive self-talk prepares you to lead with clarity and empathy, essential for effective leadership.

Ask yourself 'what are we trying to achieve here?' - start with the end in mind. Remind yourself and the other person of what our common goal is here.

Positive self-talk is a powerful tool for managing your emotions and influencing your mood, attitude, and behavior. It involves replacing negative thoughts with more encouraging and realistic ones. Here are some ways to use positive self-talk effectively: 1. Identify negative self-talk * Pay attention to your inner voice - Challenge negative thoughts 2. Replace negativity with positivity * Formulate positive affirmations - Use empowering language - Visualize success 3. Practice self-compassion * Be kind to yourself - Focus on progress, not perfection 4. Incorporate positive self-talk into your daily routine * Start your day with positive affirmations - Use positive self-talk during challenging situations - End your day with gratitude

The ability to train your brain with the skill of reframe is critical for managing your emotions. For eg. Subjective to Objective: Transform "The client despises me" into "Just because the client was upset, it doesn't mean that he despises me." Catastrophizing to Realistic: Shift from "This will ruin my career" to "This is a tough situation, but it's an opportunity to learn and grow." Self-Doubt to Self-Support: Change "I'm not good at this" to "I'm continuously improving, and I can seek support if needed."

Positive self-talk is a powerful tool for managing your emotions and improving your overall well-being. Here are some steps you can take: 1. Identify your negative self-talk 2. Challenge and reframe your thoughts 3. Use positive affirmations 4. Practice self-compassion 5. Use humor 6. Visualize success 7. Surround yourself with positive influences 8. Seek professional help It is important to remember that changing your self-talk takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress along the way. The more you practice positive self-talk, the more natural it will become, leading to improved emotional well-being and a more fulfilling life.

Many leaders restrained themselves from being empathetic to executives fearing that since they donot agree or cannot do anything about it. Which is a fallacy! One can express empathy at 3 levels: 1. Cognitive Empathy: Empathising with other's thought and opinions though they may be radically different from ours. 2. Affective Empathy: Feeling how other party feels about the situation. This level can only come in when one has felt in a similar way in past. 3. Empathetic or Action based empathy: where in addition to acknowledgement, a concrete action is possible. Bottom line: it is possible to express empathy even when one doesn't agree , feel or can do anything in that situation. Empathy is not tied to agreement or action.

Managing emotions during difficult conversations with executives involves staying composed and focused. Practice active listening, validate their concerns, and express your thoughts with clarity and respect. Use emotional intelligence to gauge the executive's emotions, adjusting your communication style accordingly to build rapport and enhance the conversation.

One of the most important lessons in conveying one’s point convincingly came to me thru a mentor, many years ago - MAKE IT TRULY ABOUT THEM – they said. In our conversation if we can convey to the other person that we really care about them, that is when rapport & trust develops, and that’s it what makes them open up to our ideas. It of course calls for us to be empathetic to which there are 3 main dimensions: – We must understand the other person’s logic, – Also, what are they feeling, – And, why is it important to them Asking questions, listening, paraphrasing their ideas will go a long way in developing this understanding. It will also help us express our ideas most effectively, making difficult conversations easy & and also win-win.

Be comfortable in your body to begin with; nothing is achieved when the body feels tense. Relax into the conversation as much as possible. Aim at reflecting back on what you heard the other person say and gain more clarity on their position. Do not rush to conclusions but rather seek to understand. It is much easier to speak to someone openly when they are relaxed and understanding. Rapport can build from there, and trust will be in the room in no time.

A empatia está ligada ao fator de Consciência social. Que é a capacidade de perceber e entender as emo??es dos outros, demonstrando compreens?o das diferentes perspectivas e sentimentos. Além da empatia, uma ferramenta muito interessante é aplicar a CNV (Comunica??o N?o Violenta) neste momento. Considere os seguintes passos para formar um argumento: Observa??o sem julgamento (fato em si, sem juízo de valor), Express?o de sentimentos (identificar os sentimentos que surgem em uma situa??o, sem atribuir culpa ou responsabilidade a outras pessoas), Comunica??o de necessidades (Expressar de forma clara e direta quais s?o as necessidades n?o atendidas) e Pedido concreto (pedido claro, sem exigências, mas abrindo possibilidade de negocia??o).

Ask clarifying questions - avoiding the “why” questions. Manage emotional reactions by practicing breathing techniques. Keep an open mind and seek win-win solutions.

Estar aberto ao feedback, sem defesas, apenas escuta ativa é crucial. Caso n?o compreenda a mensagem, pe?a exemplos claros e detalhes sobre o que foi observado ou percebido em rela??o ao desempenho ou comportamento. Se possível, solicite o feedforward (sugest?es construtivas e direcionadas para ajudar uma pessoa a melhorar e progredir em dire??o a metas futuras).

Seeking feedback is vital for growth, aligning with the 6 Seconds philosophy of actively engaging in self-improvement and emotional intelligence development. Approach feedback with openness, curiosity, and a readiness to evolve, transforming potential defensive reactions into opportunities for learning and relationship enhancement. Express gratitude for the feedback received, seek clarification to fully understand, and collaboratively explore solutions. This mindset not only mitigates negative emotions but also reinforces your commitment to personal and professional development, demonstrating leadership qualities that value growth, adaptability, and constructive communication.

Ask questions. Spin the web with ‘why’ and it leads to incredible insights. Keep the channels of communication with people, with all kinds of people. So that it is easy to understand perspectives and find solutions.

After the conversation, seek feedback from trusted colleagues or mentors on how you handled the discussion. This can provide insights into how you manage your emotions and areas for improvement. When to Seek Feedback: Ideally, seek feedback after the conversation has concluded and emotions have settled. This could be a few hours later or the next day, allowing time for reflection. How to Do It: Approach someone you trust and who is familiar with the context of the conversation, such as a mentor or a colleague. Be specific about what feedback you're seeking, for example, "I'd appreciate your thoughts on how I expressed my points and managed the discussion under stress."

Remember YOUR emotions come from within you so get curious about what is going on inside you that generates these emotions. Feelings aren't facts so get curious where the feelings are coming from. Remember we react to the story we are telling ourselves about the situation, NOT the situation itself

Have a very clear intention and go in with a helpful spirit. Breathe and stay connected in your head, heart, and gut. Listen carefully and trust yourself to bring wisdom and insight.

It's like strategizing, not clashing. Cool and constructive wins the race. Get Ready: Plan your chat like a playlist for a road trip. Know your tunes. Stay Cool: Keep it about the game plan, not the emotions. Like discussing strategy, not venting. Hear Them Out: Listen like you're tuning into your favorite track, not just waiting for your turn. Pause: If it heats up, take a deep breath. Like hitting pause to chill. Find Harmony: Look for points you both get, like a song you both dig. Easy Does It: Speak clearly and calmly, like telling a story, not a fast rap. Break Time: Too intense? Suggest a breather. Like stepping out at a party.

A meu ver, o autoconhecimento e o conhecimento prévio do perfil do interlocutor com quem se terá essa conversa difícil ajudar?o muito na gest?o das emo??es. Além disso, durante a conversa, a empatia auxiliará na compreens?o das perspectivas e sentimentos do outro, o que facilitará a busca para uma solu??o mais assertiva para ambos os lados. Em pouca palavras, uma pessoa que se conhece bem, conhece o seu interlocutor e pratica a empatia conseguirá gerir suas emo??es em qualquer situa??o adversa.

After the previous steps, the next most important thing is to remind yourself that you have choices and are in control. You don't need to DO or Say anything. And sometimes that is the best thing you can do or not do. Creating a spaciousness in your mind and in the energy in the real or virtual room allows for other energy, insight, thoughts or emotions to come through. Real breakthrough happens in moments of choice.