Feedback and coaching are essential skills for servant leaders who want to empower and develop their teams. However, many leaders struggle to make these interactions engaging, meaningful, and effective. How can you avoid the common pitfalls of feedback and coaching and create a positive learning environment for your team? Here are some tips to help you.
Before you give feedback or coach someone, you need to have a clear purpose for the conversation. What is the goal you want to achieve? What is the gap you want to close? What is the value you want to add? Having a clear purpose will help you focus on the relevant aspects of the situation, avoid being vague or judgmental, and communicate your expectations and intentions clearly.
When I was working with a colleague on a project, I noticed some areas where they were struggling with time management. Before diving into feedback, I took a moment to clarify my purpose for the conversation: to help them enhance their time management skills to improve project efficiency. I wanted to bridge the gap between their current approach and more effective methods while emphasizing the value it would add to our team's productivity. This approach allowed for a focused discussion, avoiding any vague criticisms, and ensuring a constructive conversation aimed at specific improvements.
Be Creative. When making up a team to work together, the event will be more interesting if there are different flavors of people. Think of it as cooking. You would never plan a menu of all potatoes. Do not plan a committee of potatoes, either. A master chef will balance a meal to include the five tastes: sweet, sour, salty, bitter and pungent. When we look at a project in this way, we see the value of having different kinds of people in the group. We may not like someone who is sour, but that person might be exactly what is required to balance the committee. This is an excerpt from my book "To Lead is to Serve."
To make feedback and coaching more engaging for my team, I prioritize a personalized approach that acknowledges individual strengths and areas for improvement. I believe in fostering open communication and creating a safe space for team members to share their thoughts. Utilizing a two-way feedback system, I encourage dialogue where both parties can contribute ideas and insights. Additionally, incorporating real-life examples and practical scenarios during coaching sessions helps to contextualize the feedback, making it more relatable and actionable. Emphasizing the positive aspects of performance while addressing areas for growth ensures a balanced and constructive approach, fostering a culture of continuous learning and improvement
When you're ready to guide or critique, ask yourself why. Your reason shapes the talk. It steers you away from being unclear or harsh and makes sure you're understood. Always know your aim to keep on track.
One of the most important skills for feedback and coaching is active listening. Active listening means paying attention to what the other person is saying, showing interest and curiosity, asking open-ended questions, paraphrasing and summarizing, and giving feedback on what you heard. Active listening also means being empathetic, which means trying to understand the other person's perspective, feelings, and motivations, and acknowledging them without agreeing or disagreeing. Active listening and empathy will help you build rapport, trust, and mutual understanding with the other person.
T.C. Yim was a state senator in Hawaii for many years. Later he was Executive Director of the Office of Hawaiian Affairs. One day an angry staffer came into his office and began to rant. He complained for more than 30 minutes. Yim didn’t say a word. He just listened as the man poured out his grievance. When the man finished, Yim said, “It’s noon. Would you like to have lunch?” They finished the conversation over a meal and the man became one of the senator’s best employees. Yim, like all leaders, is action-oriented. His first impulse, in the midst of a busy morning was to cut the staffer off and try to change his mind or set him straight. Instead, he listened and salvaged the relationship with a good employee. "To Lead is to Serve"
In my experience I value: 1). Listen attentively to their perspectives and concerns before offering advice. This demonstrates empathy and helps build trust. 2) Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage dialogue by asking questions that promote thoughtful responses. This invites team members to share their insights and ideas. 3) Share Personal Experiences: Relate your own experiences, successes, and failures in a humble manner. This fosters a sense of openness and allows others to learn from your journey.
I find that really tuning in to someone's words and feelings makes a huge difference. When I focus on what they're sharing, ask questions that dig deeper, and repeat back what I understand, it shows I'm invested in the conversation. It's about getting their view, not just waiting for my turn to speak. This way, we create a bond and a shared sense of respect.
The SBI model is a simple and effective framework for giving feedback and coaching. SBI stands for Situation, Behavior, and Impact. The situation is the specific context in which the behavior occurred. The behavior is the observable action or inaction that you want to give feedback or coach on. The impact is the effect that the behavior had on you, the team, the customer, or the organization. Using the SBI model will help you be specific, objective, and constructive in your feedback and coaching.
I've found the Situation, Behavior, and Impact model quite helpful. It's a clear way to talk about work events. You describe when something happened, what exactly a person did, and how it changed things. This method keeps feedback grounded and useful, making it easier for others to understand and act on it.
Feedback and coaching are not one-way lectures, but two-way dialogues. You should not impose your solution on the other person, but involve them in the process of finding the best way forward. You can do this by asking for their input, opinions, and ideas, exploring their strengths and opportunities, brainstorming options and alternatives, and agreeing on actions and follow-ups. Involving the other person in the solution will help you foster their ownership, engagement, and commitment.
Let the others express their opinions without tipping your hand prematurely. If you sincerely want to be fair, you will listen first. If the person in charge expresses an opinion, the others will be unlikely to disagree.
I think it's key to make problem-solving a team effort. When you chat with someone about improving, let them share their thoughts and play a part in shaping the plan. This way, they're more likely to be invested and on board with the changes. Listen to their side, weigh different choices together, and decide on next steps as partners. It builds trust and teamwork.
Feedback and coaching are not only about pointing out what needs to improve, but also about recognizing what is working well. You should provide positive reinforcement for the behaviors and outcomes that you want to see more of, and celebrate the progress and achievements that the other person has made. You can do this by expressing appreciation, gratitude, and recognition, highlighting the benefits and value of the positive behaviors and outcomes, and encouraging the other person to keep up the good work. Providing positive reinforcement will help you boost the other person's confidence, motivation, and morale.
I agree. I would add 1). Encourage Collaboration: Emphasize the importance of collaboration and teamwork. Highlight that everyone's input is valued, regardless of their position within the organization. 2) Celebrate Achievements: Acknowledge and celebrate both individual and team achievements. Recognition reinforces positive behavior and boosts morale.
I've found that cheering on someone's strengths and wins can really lift their spirits and drive. A simple 'thank you' or 'well done' goes a long way in making them feel valued and eager to keep doing well. It's like a warm pat on the back that says, "Keep going, you're on the right track!" This kind of support often leads to even better results and a happier team.
Feedback and coaching are not isolated events, but ongoing processes. You should follow up and follow through with the other person to ensure that they are implementing the agreed actions, achieving the desired results, and overcoming any challenges or obstacles. You can do this by setting clear and realistic goals and timelines, checking in regularly and providing support and guidance, measuring and evaluating the outcomes and impacts, and adjusting the plan as needed. Following up and follow through will help you demonstrate your accountability, credibility, and care for the other person.
Honestly, not every coaching strategy will work perfectly the first time. 1). Follow-up provides an opportunity to assess the effectiveness of the coaching advice and make adjustments as needed. This flexibility is crucial for adapting to changing circumstances. 2. Consistent follow-through builds trust within the team. It demonstrates your commitment to their development and well-being, reinforcing the notion that coaching is not a one-time event but an ongoing process of support and growth. 3.By following up and following through over the long term, you contribute to sustained positive changes in behavior, performance, and the overall culture of the organization.
I believe it's key to stay connected after giving advice. Keep tabs on their progress, help them tackle problems, and adjust plans when needed. This shows you're reliable and truly invested in their success. Regular check-ins and real support make all the difference.