How can you help your coachee navigate difficult conversations with their team?

First is to have good control on himself and stay detached from the outcome. Then, approach the team members, develop a heart-to-heart talk, ask questions, acknowledge their opinions if possible and seek their help when needed. But first support yourself, then support them (emotionally) before seeking from them (team members). Have your own ′framework′ for difficult conversation handy and go through it if needed.

Here are a few things I've tried with leaders who are facing tense team conflicts, to assess the situation: - Clarify Intentions: Encourage your client to define their purpose and desired outcomes. What do they hope to achieve from the conversation? - Gather Facts: Assess the facts and evidence. This helps in grounding the conversation in reality, avoiding assumptions and biases. - Empathy Mapping: Have them step into their team member’s shoes to see from a different perspective. Understanding how others may perceive the situation can guide a more empathetic and effective dialogue.

I often role play difficult conversations in advance with my coachee to support them in this intentional preparation. This way, they can explore how to prepare for the conversation, deliver feedback with clarity, with examples, with empathy for the other person's point of view. This way, they can also get a sense of how having this conversation affects them, which makes it easier for them to anticipate those emotions when they do come up. It might also help for the coachee to consider: What is the cost (both to the coachee and to the recipient of the feedback) of not having this conversation?

Practice, practice, practice. Coming up with a plan is only the first step. Professional musicians and athletes spend countless hours practicing, even the fundamentals. Why? Because they want those fundamentals to become automatic, especially when the emotional stakes are high. Going into a difficult conversation without practicing first is like running a race for the first time at the Olympics. Mentally preparing only goes so far and words sound different when they are vocalized. Practicing with a peer and someone with a difficult communication style can help.

Techniques that have worked for my clients include: - Journaling: If they are open to journaling, writing down their feelings can help them recognize patterns and triggers. - Mindfulness Meditation: Practicing mindfulness can help them become more aware of their present emotional state without judgment. I use Headspace myself. - Try simple grounding exercises, such as focusing on the senses (e.g., noting three things they can see, hear, and touch). This can help them stay present and calm in the moment. - Encourage them to challenge and reframe negative thoughts. Instead of thinking "This conversation will go badly," they can reframe it to "This is an opportunity to resolve issues."

In my experience an effective starting point is to have the coachee take a step back and put outsider goggles on. This perspective enables them to evaluate what their own role is: why are they there? what's their contribution? how do they honor that? It also brings a clearer view of the group dynamics. With this perspective the coachee can start separating the different parts of the issue at hand which in most cases brings down complexity and allows for a clearer view of needs to be done. With these insights the coachee and leader is well equipped to talk to the team and help them move forward.

If the coachee's goal or need is to navigate through difficult discussions, then its about helping them see the reality, being aware of what is their struggle, where is it coming from, are the ready to make a change, what are the options available..what will to help them navigate..how will they go about the action plan..help them.think thru what will be the challenges ..show stoppers , triggers ..what support ..resources they have ..etc