How can you handle a difficult performance appraisal conversation?

In my experience, most effective appraisals are the ones where the leader precedes the same with regular feedback sessions possibly quarterly, so that there are no surprises wrt expectations vs reality. It is always good to be objective and encourage self Assessments before the discussions.

Maintain transparency throughout the conversation, as openness fosters trust and effective communication. And aim to make the conversation a collaborative process rather than a one-sided critique, listen actively to the employee's perspective and encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings. And seek their input on potential solutions and jointly develop an action plan to address any performance gaps.

Consider starting the call by asking, What Does Success Look Like (WDSLL)? Answer it together and put it in writing at the top of your notes.

Having clear objectives means understanding your purpose in the conversation. Think of it as having a roadmap. You wouldn't go on a trip without knowing where you want to go. Similarly, a focused discussion can be productive and stay on track. It's about ensuring both you and the employee leave with clarity and understanding.

- You need to understand who you are going to deal with, and be prepared with his records +/- both. - Ensure you've all good works done by him, could be little achievements but get it listed with dates. - Start with a +ve conversation, but don't use all of the +ve ones in the start, leave a few to use in the middle of the conversation, when the conversation will get heated from the other end, so you can use it to make the person feel that he is an achiever, and valued. - Convince him with his own achievement vs non-achievements. Show him that he is capable, but not been consistent. - Use your own example of past if any, where you were marked below avg and how did you turn it around.

When discussing the "evidence" prepare clear examples of it and suggest alternatives. This shouldn't be the first time they are discussed. Don't sugar coat it, address it head on. Confirm employee understanding by having them recap the conversation or ask questions.

When you make a claim or give feedback, it's like stating a fact. Without evidence, it might seem like just an opinion. Providing evidence is like showing someone proof of a fact. It leaves no room for doubt and ensures the message is clear.

Imagine discussing something serious in the middle of a party. It's neither appropriate nor effective. Just like you'd choose a quiet room for an important chat, performance conversations need the right setting. It's about ensuring privacy and making sure both parties are comfortable and undistracted.

Asses body language, keep eye contact, listen attentively and get comfotable with longer silences. The longer silences are especially hard to get used to, but people need time to think of the best way to express themselves especially in this context.

When sharing a feedback it is important to listen even those unsaid cues in order to change the pitch, sometimes direction and give proper suggestions in a collaborative way. Trying to cut the point of others or even just putting your pointers without asking for clarifications can make the discussion negative

No one likes feeling unheard. Listening is like giving someone a spotlight, letting them know they matter. It's not just about hearing words, but understanding emotions and perspectives. It's about making someone feel seen and understood.

You cannot go into a difficult conversation without preparing. You need to think through, write down, get specific feedback, observations, think through incidents that happened during the year, collect feedback given during the year. At all times you must share candid, transparent feedback but in a firm tone. It is critical that you take away emotions from the conversations because many times in difficult conversations it can get emotional as you do not know how the other party is going to react. Be empathetic and highlight that the feedback/conversation is to help the individual get better. Show that you care about the individual and want them to get better. Be specific when giving feedback and highlighting issues.

Think of a coach guiding a team. Generic instructions like "do better" aren't helpful. But specific advice, like "pass the ball more," can make a difference. In the same way, specific feedback can guide an employee better than vague comments.

Difficult conversations don't exist in a vacuum, an employee should never be caught completely off guard when hearing about their poor performance, these conversations are usually preceded by warnings and smaller points during one-on-ones. Similarly, it's fundamental that the manager follows up and keeps track of the employee's progress after establishing clear and actionable goals for improvement, those follow-up sessions need to be properly documented and it's the company's and the manager's responsibility to ensure that the employee receives whatever resources or support they need in order to improve.

Imagine you're learning a new skill. A one-time lesson won't make you an expert. Continuous practice and feedback would. Similarly, one conversation isn't enough. Regular check-ins ensure continuous growth and lets the employee know you're invested in their success.

In my experience, the performance appraisal conversation’s follow-up, has to include clear commitments, from both parties, of specific objectives and timing, together with consequences of not achieving them.

It is very important that you not try to soften or pad the feedback to come across as nice or to make it easier for the other person. More often that not, when people try to do this, they undercut their clarity, can cause the other person to hear confused messages, and generally muddy the waters. The focus needs to be on making sure the other person hears the right message the first time. Similarly, after conveying the feedback, STOP TALKING and listen. Don't try to fill any awkward silences with chatter. You want your words to sink in. Now this is not to say one should be a verbal bulldozer; the message can be delivered with empathy. But get to the heart of the matter succinctly and don't try to fill the air with fluff-and-stuff.

Adopting a ‘coaching mindset’ in a difficult performance appraisal can be transformative for both the manager and the employee. Instead of delivering top-down judgments, guide the employee through self-assessment questions that prompt them to identify their own areas for growth. This self-discovery process not only makes the feedback easier to accept but also inherently motivates the individual to improve. You’re not just pointing out flaws; you’re facilitating a pathway for the employee to recognize, understand, and act upon them. This coaching approach fosters a collaborative environment where feedback is a shared responsibility, thereby elevating the entire performance appraisal experience from punitive to constructive.

One thing that I found helpful was to keep a transparent record of all that went well and did not in a year. This record has to be updated and discussed at regular intervals with concerned employees. Yes, appreciation can be shared through a group mail whereas adverse remarks be discussed during short private conversations. Record the employee views, your encouragement and suggestions out of these conversations. This can be a base for the annual appraisal discussions where negative feedbacks will not impact the employee as much. Explain how you stood by him and areas where you, as manager, had to abide by corporate guidelines. And point out clearly what he can do to not to repeat the adverse instances.

Remember, every individual is different. What works for one might not work for another. It's essential to tailor your approach based on the employee's unique personality, needs, and circumstances. Like adjusting a recipe based on individual taste preferences, a customized approach can yield the best results.