How can you handle criticism from an unapproachable team member?

1 Identify your emotions

The first step to handle criticism from an unapproachable team member is to recognize and manage your own emotions. Criticism can trigger feelings of anger, hurt, defensiveness, or anxiety, which can cloud your judgment and affect your response. Instead of reacting impulsively or defensively, take a moment to pause and breathe. Acknowledge your emotions and try to understand why you feel that way. Are you taking the criticism personally? Are you feeling threatened or insecure? Are you misinterpreting the feedback? By identifying your emotions, you can gain some perspective and calm yourself down.

3 Respond assertively

The third step to handle criticism from an unapproachable team member is to respond assertively and confidently. Assertiveness involves expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a respectful and honest manner, without being passive or aggressive. To do this, you should thank the person for their feedback and acknowledge their perspective. Additionally, state your own perspective and explain your reasoning or actions. If you agree with the feedback, express your willingness to improve and ask for suggestions or resources; if you disagree with the feedback, provide evidence or examples to support your position and propose a solution or compromise. If the feedback is unclear, unfair, or inappropriate, ask for clarification or validation and set boundaries or expectations. By responding assertively, you can show your emotional intelligence, build trust and rapport, and resolve conflicts.

4 Reflect and learn

The fourth step to handle criticism from an unapproachable team member is to reflect and learn from the experience. Criticism can be a valuable opportunity to grow and improve your skills, knowledge, and performance. After the feedback session, take some time to review the feedback and evaluate its validity, relevance, and usefulness. Identify your strengths and areas for improvement, and set goals and action plans to achieve them. Seek feedback from other sources, such as your manager, peers, or clients, to get a balanced and objective view of your performance. By reflecting and learning, you can enhance your self-awareness, self-confidence, and self-improvement.

5 Practice self-care

The fifth step to handle criticism from an unapproachable team member is to practice self-care and maintain your well-being. Criticism can be an emotionally draining experience, so it’s important to take care of yourself both physically and mentally. Engaging in activities that make you happy and relaxed, such as hobbies, exercise, meditation, or spending time with friends and family can help. Additionally, seeking support from people who can empathize and encourage you, such as a mentor or coach, is beneficial. Reminding yourself of your successes and celebrating your progress and efforts can also help you stay positive. Avoid taking criticism personally and focus on the positive aspects and opportunities of your work. Practicing self-care will help boost your resilience, motivation, and satisfaction.

6 Develop your skills

The sixth step to handle criticism from an unapproachable team member is to develop your skills and competencies. Criticism can be a beneficial tool for learning and development when used as a feedback loop for improving performance and results. To do so, you can seek more feedback and coaching from your manager, peers, or experts, and implement their advice and guidance. You could also enroll in courses, workshops, or webinars to acquire new knowledge or skills, or update your existing ones. Reading books, articles, or blogs can also inspire you or provide you with tips and best practices. Joining online communities or networks can offer support, resources, or opportunities to learn from others. Ultimately, by developing your skills, you can increase your competence, credibility, and confidence.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?