Having multiple life coaching mentors can be a great way to learn from different perspectives, experiences, and styles. However, it can also create confusion and frustration when you receive conflicting advice from them. How can you handle this situation without losing your focus, confidence, and motivation? Here are some tips to help you.
Before you seek or accept any advice from your mentors, make sure you have a clear vision of what you want to achieve, why, and how. This will help you filter out the advice that is irrelevant, outdated, or incompatible with your values and preferences. It will also help you communicate your goals to your mentors, so they can understand your context and tailor their advice accordingly.
There are times that seeking/engaging in mentoring is about establishing your vision. This typically takes a number of iterations. It can be really useful to have differing/conflicting perspectives as you explore your intentions and aspirations. The variety of responses may support you in defining your values, expectations and outcomes.
With any advice, guidance or mentoring it is helpful to acknowledge that you are listening to one person's perspective. If it helps you then great. If it contradicts other advice, your own thoughts, then try listening and assessing what you want to take from it. After all, the life and career a mentor lives and shares guidance on, is never going to be the same as the life and career you are going to live...
When you receive conflicting advice from your mentors, don't dismiss or accept it right away. Instead, try to compare and contrast the pros and cons of each option, and how they align with your goals, strengths, and challenges. You can also ask your mentors to explain their reasoning, evidence, and assumptions behind their advice, and to share their own experiences or examples of applying it. This will help you gain more insight and perspective, and to evaluate the validity and relevance of the advice.
Definitely seek rationale, experience or basis for each of the mentor responses. Then do your own research! Mentors can guide, inform and advise ... ultimately the choices and actions are yours.
Ultimately, you are the best judge of what works for you and what doesn't. You have your own unique personality, background, and situation, and no one can know them better than you. Therefore, you should trust your intuition and listen to your inner voice when making decisions based on the advice you receive. You can also test the advice in small steps, and see how it feels and what results it produces. If it feels right and brings you closer to your goals, keep it. If not, discard it or modify it.
Even if you disagree with or reject some of the advice from your mentors, you should always be respectful and grateful for their time, effort, and intention. They are trying to help you, not to harm you or impose their views on you. You can express your appreciation and feedback in a polite and constructive way, and explain why you chose a different option. You can also keep an open mind and revisit the advice later, as your situation or goals may change.
Having multiple mentors can be beneficial, but it can also be overwhelming and distracting. You don't want to spend too much time or energy seeking or processing advice, and neglect your own action and learning. You also don't want to depend too much on external guidance, and lose your sense of autonomy and self-reliance. Therefore, you should balance your sources of advice, and limit them to a few trusted and qualified mentors who have your best interest at heart. You should also balance the advice with your own research, experimentation, and reflection.
Occasionally, you may find a mentor's comments 'jarring' or even triggering to you emotionally. It's important to take time to reflect upon your reaction in order to be able to respond thoughtfully. Your mentoring relationship(s) are intended to be supportive and enhancing. That doesn't mean that they avoid being challenging. A good mentor will provide content that may well be at odds with your espoused values ... providing an opportunity to reevaluate; strengthen/validate or even adapt/change based on wider understanding. You're not obliged to adapt to your mentor(s) views, they provide insights.