Giving feedback is a crucial skill for effective communication, collaboration, and performance improvement. However, feedback can also be a sensitive and challenging topic, especially when it involves personality traits or preferences. How can you give feedback that focuses on behavior instead of personality, and why is it important to do so? Here are some tips to help you.
Behavior is what someone does or says in a specific situation or context. It is observable, measurable, and changeable. Personality is the underlying set of characteristics, preferences, and tendencies that influence how someone thinks, feels, and acts. It is less visible, more stable, and harder to modify. Feedback should focus on behavior because it is more relevant, specific, and actionable than personality.
The SBI model is a useful framework for providing feedback on behavior. It stands for Situation, Behavior, and Impact and helps you structure your feedback in an organized, concise, and constructive manner. When using the SBI model, it's important to be factual and neutral when describing the situation, concrete with examples when describing the behavior, and to explain the impact of the behavior without blame or praise. By using this method, you can ensure that your feedback is clear and effective.
I have used the SBI model effectively before and use it in my workshops. I do like adding an 'A' at the end of the acronym, to indicate 'Action'. It sets the stage to discuss what the person can do to change the behavior. (or do more of it, in case of positive feedback).
Before giving feedback on behavior, it is important to show respect and create an open dialogue by asking for permission and feedback from the receiver. Examples of how to do this include: inquiring if you can share feedback about their presentation or if they would like suggestions on how to improve their report. Additionally, you can ask them how they think they did on the project or what areas they would like to work on. Asking for feedback demonstrates curiosity and creates a two-way dialogue.
Feedback on behavior can be positive or negative, depending on the impact of the behavior. Positive feedback reinforces and encourages desirable behavior, while negative feedback corrects and discourages undesirable behavior. Both types of feedback are essential for learning and development, yet they should be balanced and appropriate. Therefore, it is advised to give positive feedback frequently, specifically, and sincerely to recognize strengths, achievements, and improvements. For example, "You did a great job leading the meeting today. You were clear, confident, and engaging". On the other hand, negative feedback should be given sparingly, timely, and respectfully to address gaps, mistakes, and problems. For instance,"You missed the deadline for the report yesterday. This caused delays and frustration for the team."
It is essential to follow up and support the receiver after giving feedback on behavior. Doing so demonstrates accountability and interest in the progress and outcome, as well as empathy and willingness to help and collaborate. To follow up, check in with the receiver after an appropriate amount of time. Ask how they are doing, what they have learned, and what they have changed. To support, offer resources, guidance, and assistance to the receiver. Ask what they need, what they want, and how you can help. Doing this will ensure the receiver feels supported and has all the resources necessary to achieve their goals.