How can you develop emotional intelligence to work with a demanding boss?

1 Identify your triggers

The first step to developing your emotional intelligence is to recognize what triggers your negative emotions, such as anger, fear, or anxiety, when you interact with your boss. Maybe it's the way they talk to you, the expectations they have, or the feedback they give you. By identifying your triggers, you can become more aware of your emotional reactions and learn to control them before they escalate. You can also use your triggers as an opportunity to reflect on why they bother you and what you can do to change your perspective or behavior.

2 Practice empathy

The second step to developing your emotional intelligence is to practice empathy, which is the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes and understand their feelings, thoughts, and motives. Empathy can help you understand why your boss acts the way they do, and what they need from you. Maybe they are under a lot of pressure, have different goals or values, or have a different communication style. By empathizing with your boss, you can avoid taking their actions personally, and find ways to communicate and collaborate more effectively. You can also express your empathy by acknowledging their emotions, listening actively, and showing appreciation.

3 Meditate regularly

The third step to developing your emotional intelligence is to meditate regularly, which is a practice of focusing your attention on your breath, a mantra, or a sensation, and letting go of distracting thoughts and feelings. Meditation can help you reduce stress, improve your focus, and enhance your emotional awareness and regulation. By meditating regularly, you can train your brain to be more mindful, calm, and responsive, rather than reactive, to your emotions and situations. You can also use meditation to cultivate positive emotions, such as gratitude, compassion, and joy, which can improve your mood and well-being.

4 Seek feedback

The fourth step to developing your emotional intelligence is to seek feedback, which is the process of asking for and receiving information about your performance, behavior, or impact. Feedback can help you learn from your mistakes, improve your skills, and adjust your actions to meet your boss's expectations and needs. By seeking feedback, you can demonstrate your willingness to grow, improve, and collaborate, and build trust and respect with your boss. You can also use feedback to identify your strengths and weaknesses, and set goals for your personal and professional development.

5 Manage conflicts

The fifth step to developing your emotional intelligence is to manage conflicts, which are situations where there are disagreements, differences, or tensions between you and your boss. Conflicts can be harmful or beneficial, depending on how you handle them. If you avoid or escalate conflicts, you can damage your relationship and increase your stress. If you resolve or transform conflicts, you can enhance your relationship and reduce your stress. To manage conflicts effectively, you need to use your emotional intelligence skills, such as identifying your emotions, practicing empathy, meditating, and seeking feedback, and apply them to the conflict situation. You also need to use constructive communication techniques, such as listening, asking questions, expressing your needs, and finding solutions.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?