How can you de-escalate situations involving vulnerable or marginalized people?

1 Understand the context

Before you approach a situation, try to understand the context and the factors that may influence the person's behavior. For example, are they experiencing trauma, mental health issues, substance abuse, discrimination, or oppression? How does their cultural background, identity, or communication style affect their perception and expression of emotions? How do your own biases, assumptions, or stereotypes affect your interaction with them? By being aware of these factors, you can avoid triggering or escalating the situation further.

3 Stay calm and respectful

Another key skill in de-escalation is staying calm and respectful, even if the person is hostile, aggressive, or irrational. You can control your own emotions and reactions by using breathing techniques, positive self-talk, and grounding strategies. You can also use a calm and respectful tone of voice, language, and body language to convey your message and intentions. Avoid using sarcasm, threats, ultimatums, or insults, as these can provoke or worsen the situation. Instead, use affirming, supportive, and reassuring words and gestures to build rapport and trust.

4 Identify the problem and the solution

Once you have established a connection with the person and reduced their emotional intensity, you can work together to identify the problem and the solution. You can do this by summarizing the main points of the situation, acknowledging their perspective and feelings, and expressing your own perspective and feelings. You can also invite them to share their ideas and suggestions on how to resolve the situation, and offer your own ideas and suggestions if appropriate. You can then negotiate and agree on a realistic and acceptable solution that meets both of your needs and goals.

5 Follow up and follow through

The final step in de-escalation is to follow up and follow through on the solution. You can do this by checking in with the person to see how they are feeling and how the solution is working for them. You can also provide feedback, praise, or encouragement for their efforts and achievements. You can also follow through on your commitments and responsibilities, and hold them accountable for theirs. By following up and following through, you can reinforce the positive outcome of the situation, and prevent or minimize future conflicts.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?