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How can you communicate with someone who is unreceptive to feedback?

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Feedback is essential for learning, growth, and improvement, but not everyone is open to receiving it. How can you communicate with someone who is unreceptive to feedback, without damaging the relationship or compromising your goals? In this article, you will learn some practical tips and strategies to overcome common barriers and challenges when giving feedback to someone who is resistant or defensive.

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Mohammad AbbasiFard

Public Relations Manager at Zarinpal
Priya Mandhan

Sr Technical Program Manager at Amazon India | ex-Amex | ex-Infogain | ex - NIIT | ex- Syntel

1 Understand the reasons

Before providing feedback, it's important to understand why the person might be unreceptive. This could be due to low self-confidence or self-esteem, different expectations or standards, a fixed mindset, negative feedback experiences, or personal or professional issues. To show respect and build rapport, try to empathize with the person and acknowledge their perspective. Additionally, you can use open-ended questions to explore their goals, challenges, and needs, and to invite them to share their feedback on themselves or others.

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Priya Mandhan

Sr Technical Program Manager at Amazon India | ex-Amex | ex-Infogain | ex - NIIT | ex- Syntel
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To add on, I think few pointers can help make the conversation easier and productive: 1. Always start the feedback conversation with some appreciative points for what person has done good. Recognition always helps and makes people feel valued. 2. Another point, While providing feedback , one should always talk on the basis of data points or specific examples which can help the person recieving the feedback to understand better.

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2 Choose the right time and place

Timing and setting are important factors to consider when giving feedback. It's best to give feedback as soon as possible after the event or situation, when it is still fresh and relevant. Additionally, ensure that the person is not busy, stressed, tired, or emotional, as they may be less receptive or more defensive. Choose a private and comfortable place for your conversation, free from any potential interruptions or distractions. Before beginning, ask for permission and check if the person is ready and willing to hear your feedback; respect their answer if they decline. This will help create a positive and supportive environment for feedback and reduce the risk of misunderstanding or conflict.

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Mohammad AbbasiFard

Public Relations Manager at Zarinpal
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Imagine being in a less than ideal mental state. In such a scenario, a colleague or friend approaches you to discuss an important matter and provide feedback. Would you be receptive to their input in this less than ideal state of mind? The answer to this question is unquestionably no. With this in mind, I consistently strive to gauge the emotional and mental well-being of others before offering feedback at an appropriate time and place. In varying circumstances, individuals may react differently and perceive our feedback and the intended message in various ways. Hence, it is advisable to assess the situation before delivering feedback.

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3 Use the sandwich method

The sandwich method is a popular technique for giving feedback that involves providing positive or appreciative feedback on either side of a negative or constructive feedback. This method helps to balance out the feedback and reduce the impact of the negative or constructive feedback. For instance, start with a positive comment that acknowledges the person's strengths, achievements, or efforts. Then, provide a negative or constructive feedback that identifies the area of improvement, the impact, and the expectation. Lastly, end with a positive comment that emphasizes the person's potential, value, or contribution. By using this method, you can demonstrate your care for the individual and their success while still addressing any areas that need improvement.

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Mohammad AbbasiFard

Public Relations Manager at Zarinpal
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My personal experience with the sandwich technique has shown that it effectively helps the person on the receiving end to maintain psychological equilibrium and fosters a positive, receptive mindset. During a recent conversation with two friends, a conflict arose between them, resulting in one friend becoming frustrated due to the negative feedback from the other. In this situation, I employed the "Compliment-Critique-Compliment" sandwich technique to alleviate the frustration and transform the discussion into a constructive and productive exchange.

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4 Be specific and actionable

Giving feedback that is effective and well-received can be a challenge. To make your feedback more specific and actionable, it is important to use concrete examples and evidence to support it, rather than generalizations or opinions. Additionally, using descriptive language that avoids any judgmental or accusatory words can help ensure that the person does not become defensive or upset. Furthermore, setting measurable and realistic criteria and goals to show them the gap and direction they should take can help them understand what they need to do. Finally, providing positive and constructive suggestions and recommendations rather than commands or orders can help the person improve or change. By taking these steps, you can make your feedback meaningful and useful for the person.

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5 Listen and respond

Giving feedback is not a one-way communication, but a two-way dialogue. To listen and respond effectively, use active listening skills such as nodding, paraphrasing, summarizing, and asking clarifying questions to demonstrate that you are paying attention and understanding the person's point of view. It is important to acknowledge and validate the person's feelings and emotions, even if they are negative or defensive, while showing empathy and compassion. Additionally, you should avoid arguing, interrupting, or dismissing the person's feedback, even if you disagree or think it is unfair or inaccurate. Instead, strive to understand their perspective and find common ground. Finally, encourage and support the person to take action and follow up on your feedback; offer your help and resources if needed. By listening and responding to the person, you can build trust and rapport while fostering a feedback culture that is open, honest, and respectful.

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6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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How can you communicate with someone who is unreceptive to feedback?

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 Understand the reasons

2 Choose the right time and place

3 Use the sandwich method

4 Be specific and actionable

5 Listen and respond

6 Here’s what else to consider

Business Communications

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How can you communicate with someone who is unreceptive to feedback?

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 Understand the reasons

2 Choose the right time and place

3 Use the sandwich method

4 Be specific and actionable

5 Listen and respond

6 Here’s what else to consider

Business Communications

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感谢您的反馈

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