How can you coach your mentee through challenging workplace situations?

Ideally mentee should be mentored, and not coached because the scope / goal is short term. Mentored by someone who has worked in the ecosystem of mentee and is familiar with the nuances of working and flourishing. Even while mentoring if the conversation is a mix of asking invoking questions and subtle hints on possible options for solutions, it will be more effective.

I believe that the client who is going through the challenging workplace situation can figure out way of handling the same. My role as an executive coach would be to make the client understand as to what he / she is believing as challenging, how is he / she feeling when faced with the challenge, what is coming in the way for the client to overcome the challenge and identify actions that he / she can take to overcome the same.

Perhaps setting the engagement goals, professional & personal, is the first step. The goals have to be audacious, aligned with the purpose (north star) Trust is the basis of any relationship. Coaching as a relationship is next only to a Guru & seeker. When trust is given, we get trust. The 3 elements of the relationship based on mutual trust are - authenticity, resilience & vulnerability (#ARV) Trust is a coaching competency Coaching relationship is between the “coachee” and the coach. (Even the stakeholder is ‘incidental’. Critical to build trust.) Mentee being in a mentoring relationship with the mentor, who is seen as a SM expert. The more a mentor incorporates coaching into the engagement, the more impactful it will be for the mentee.

When coaching individuals through challenging workplace situations, the key is to understand the entire situation and collect as much information and evidence as possible. The more you can see the entire picture, the better equipped you can be in supporting them. The critical piece to challenging workplace situations is spending time opening up the perspective of your coachee/mentee. Everything in life is about perspective and if we can become open and objective about a situation and neutralize it, we can find solutions outside of right and wrong and lean more toward resolution. The way we feel about every single situation in life is about perspective, the more open we are as humans, the more likely we are to be able to find resolution.

I coach my clients to look at every challenge as a gift and look for three things thy can take away from the challenge: Knowledge - what can they learn from the challenge to grow? Power - where can the increase in power in another area of their life or career? Inspiration - what can the challenge inspire them to do or accomplish? We cannot control the challenges we face, but we can control how we see them.

This is a crucial aspect of coaching. Asking powerful, open-ended questions encourages deeper reflection and empowers the coachee to explore their own thoughts and solutions. It's about guiding them through self-discovery and decision-making. The idea is to effectively prompt introspection and consideration of various perspectives. Avoiding the why question is important since it prompts a defensive response and the coachee can get disengaged.

Asking powerful questions is central to coaching. The secret to success is to remain curious and open, so that your questions are for and about the mentee and of value rather than about your need to provide value or an answer.

Ask questions that generate insight , help them to think , explore , spaces which otherwise would not have been explored . Questions need to be non threatening and empathetic yet challenging , hence avoiding a question which starts with 'Why ' is often advisable .

As well as looking at the current challenge, encourage mentees to reflect on how this situation fits into their broader career trajectory. Questions like, "How does this challenge align with your long-term career aspirations?" or "How does this pattern appear in other areas?".

(1) Tell me....(about the problem you want to solve) (2) What do you need? (3) What are your concerns? (4) How have you handled this successfully in the past? (5) What's the first step? I love these questions by Alexandra Carter, Director of Colombia Law School's Mediation Clinic

Feedback must be specific and measurable, if it's to have the desired results. For positive or negative feedback, it's helpful to catch someone in the moment or shortly thereafter. I like this technique: "Hey [name], when you [did/said/acted] X, I [saw/felt/thought] Y" If you want someone to do more of something that you've observed or experienced them doing well, this technique can be very affirming. But it must be specific so they know exactly what behaviour to repeat. It's important to remember that feedback is subjective. Focus on the behaviour, not the person.

The key to providing constructive feedback is for all parties to view the feedback as a possibility for growth. Feedback is neutral, meaning the person receiving the feedback assigns a value to it (positive or negative). When all parties involved acknowledge the power of feedback for growth it takes on a whole new meaning. Using this approach reduces the likelihood that feedback will be received in any other context than that of growth.

When I hear feedback it reminds me of #Marshall Goldsmiths' thought that we should change it to #feedforward , which will take us forward and not back . I also get reminded of #Kim Scott's # RadicalCandor , when we need to challenge but with care , so that the mindset is ready as we get ready to provide feedforward . Keeping in mind these two ideas one has to provide feedforward where you are challenging them with care .This gives the best result

I hear so often - use the “sandwich” (positive feedback bookending more difficult feedback). As an alternative, I suggest developing a compassionate and open/honest relationship in which you and your mentee are able to share/hear difficult feedback as an impression that is data to consider.

The best thing we can do for a client in this situation is to provide them with confidence. How do they get that? A consistent structured model allows them to get their mindset right before they embark on any feedback conversation and then provide clarity on the concerns and then deliver feedback in a neutral tone. Specific programs, such as our Feedback Conversations for Leaders Program, provide coaching on feedback, enhancing confidence and credibility.

Models, tools , frameworks should be used in a way to enhance the conversation , but not become the conversation . At times I find tools and framework distracts deep listening .

I believe the initial steps should involve the mentee becoming aware of and desiring this support, and then clarifying whether it will be a coaching or mentoring approach. Othereise, failure to clarify can lead to perceived different objectives, differences in how time - as valuable resource - will be allocated, and, very likely, different results than expected Mentoring, like coaching, provides the flexibility to choose from any known models that best align with the set goals and the most effective learning and development style of the mentee. Some examples include TGROW (with T from Target), the Reverse Mentoring Model, or the Appreciative Inquiry Model

Knowledge will set us free sometimes, by opening up new perspectives on our truths. Learning is embedded in human interaction, so sharing models & and tools that allow clients to reframe how they perceive issues is an important part of the mentoring & and coaching process...as long as learning does not overcome the change goal that drives mentoring & and coaching. The biggest issue is that clients trust their mentors and coaches to use valuable frameworks - and there are not so many out there; in a world filled with poorly designed tools and falsely validated "truths", it's our responsibility to not allow the transfer of trust from us to improper tools.

Three things that work for me as a coach / mentor, in order to make sure my clients are engaged in effecting changes instead of playing mind-games: - drive 1 single goal / objective at a time; as soon as that is done, we move to the next one - baby-steps only, instead of complex plans; one a step is taken, we talk about the next one from a new standpoint - always asking the accountability question "Is there anything that can stop you from taking this step?"...as it's every adult's job to be accountable for their actions. I don't do "accountability coaching" - I find this disrespectful to the innate autonomy of any motivated human being :)

1) First and foremost, listen to them. Ask them to share situations that bother them. 2) Identify things that are under their control and guide them to focus only on them. Mind tends to run wild for most of us humans and lot of energy drain happens on unnecessary extrapolation of situations. That should be reduced. 3) Journaling the emotions from time to time is a good practice. It reduces the baggage on the mind. Journal both the worries, situations but also more importantly things that are working well and express gratitude towards them. 4) A lot of times people think they are the only ones struggling. If they can be encouraged to find colleagues who are undergoing similar situation then a broader perspective may emerge

The question itself can create confusion - am I coaching or mentoring? Let's clarify the roles. The International Coaching Federation (ICF) defines coaching as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.” Coaches ask more than tell. Mentors tell more than ask - "here's how I did it." They're called upon to share their experience and advice. A coach may don a mentor cap and offer a personal anecdote based on lived experience. A mentor may coach by asking, "how would you do X differently? How would you apply what I shared to your unique situation?" Leaders should become comfortable wearing both hats.

Whether coaching or mentoring it is important to help coachee identify and then work on his/her limiting beliefs which at times can act as a big breakthrough. It is here that fundamental coaching skills like deep listening, asking questions and appropriately confronting the coachee, gets tested to the hilt.