How can you build resilience when faced with unexpected challenges?

Reacting emotionally is a dangerous plan. I always ask, in 3 years will anyone care about this. Then if I’m upset or triggered - I give myself a day to reply. What was emotionally charged the day before, often rolls off my back the next day. The key is recognising when you are emotionally triggered, then accepting this and taking a step back. It is a habit and practice that can be learned and perfected. Buy it takes focus to step away from our emotion and break the grip they have on us.

Create a personal plan for dealing with emotional reactions to sudden challenges. For example, when a project goes off-track, you might initially feel overwhelmed. Recognize this as a natural response. Have a set process in place, like taking a short break to practice mindfulness or deep breathing exercises, to help regain your composure. Then, engage in solution-focused thinking, perhaps by jotting down the problem and potential solutions in a structured manner. This methodical approach to acknowledging and addressing your emotional reactions allows you to maintain clarity and professionalism.

The first point is that the topic of the article is not correct - Resilience is not built when faced with unexpected challenges - it is rather built over a period much before the event/ disaster. It is exploited during a disaster/ crisis. Now coming to emotions - yes one has to be emotionally strong to be resilient (also needs to be strong physically, mentally, and commercially/ financially). And to be emotionally strong, one has to first recognise all types of emotions - good, bad, and ugly - good to be strengthened; bad and ugly to be managed or controlled. Even bad emotions are not so bad - you may be able to find a way out in frustration and anger! Make your emotions your weapons! (I am not recommending emotional blackmail though!).

Challenges and obstacles are often positive redirection, … and always learning opportunities. In fact growth and learning, … always lie on the other side of discomfort and obstacles. It doesn’t usually feel like it, but in fact our value lies in facing and overcoming challenges. This is our value add - without challenges and obstacles the world likely wouldn’t need our advice and frameworks. Reminding yourself of this can be powerful in breaking the spell of moaning and complaining. … Shifting from a negative perspective to a positive. We always have this power, and those who can yield this will grow the most … and add the most value.

When confronted with an unexpected problem, instead of seeing it as a setback, reframe it as a chance to develop new skills or innovate. For instance, if a client project suddenly changes direction, view this as an opportunity to adapt and showcase your flexibility and problem-solving skills. Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this situation? How can this strengthen my consulting abilities?” This mindset shift transforms challenges into valuable experiences, fostering resilience by turning obstacles into opportunities for professional growth and development.

Here is my real case - my brother was fighting a battle with cancer, I was on 24x7 standby and used to rush him to the hospital at any time of the day. I was writing my second book, it was a self-commitment to release it on a fixed day (no significance). I wrote at least 50% of that while in hospital. He lost the battle about 13 days before the book was to be released. We had a big ceremony on that day after his death, and in the evening, at the set time - the book was released globally. I was strong on point1 above about controlling emotions!

When faced with a challenge, quickly devise a plan of action that addresses the new circumstances. For instance, if a key project requirement changes, reassess your resources and timeline, and adjust your approach accordingly. This might involve reallocating team roles, seeking additional expertise, or revising your project goals. Taking prompt, adaptive action shows your ability to manage difficulties proactively rather than reactively. It’s about being flexible and resourceful, finding innovative solutions to emerging problems.

My 8th book (published last week) is almost around 'being happy-being resilient'. I say opportunities do not come knocking at your door-you have to create and grab them. Similarly, no one else will make you happy and resilient - create those little moments of happiness for yourself and be resilient! In the book I have created 50+, partII (to be out next year) will have 50 more. Last year, my mother had sudden cardiac arrest and was in the ICU for 2 weeks (she passed away after being on 'ICU at home' for a week. I wrote a chapter 'Miracles Do Happen' from the hospital when she was in the ICU, which became the opening chapter for the next book which was published few weeks after she passed away. This chapter was not planned originally.

Set weekly challenges for yourself, such as tackling a complex problem or learning a new skill, to steadily build your adaptability and problem-solving capabilities. By making these resilience-building exercises a regular part of your life, you train yourself to remain calm, focused, and adaptable in the face of consulting challenges, turning resilience into a natural response rather than a forced effort.

Having written and published 8 books on Resilience, it is very difficult to summarise in 750x7 characters. I have attempted above to share some of my experiences and top tips. I do agree that anyone can build resilience with practice. There are many ways - learning and sharing is one of the best ones - and I practice that regularly - one of the reasons that I have been adding my bits to these contributory articles - I guess I will touch 100 by the end of this year! This wouldn't be possible without being resilient myself.