How can you build resilience when dealing with difficult coworkers?

In my experience, difficulty lies within us and not outside. It is all about our own ego centric view of the world. If we make the time to get out of our own way aka “EGO” and truly “LISTEN” to understand than “seek” to be understood is the first step. It has been quite humbling experience for me when I listen to understand rather than reply, react or seek to be understood first. Last but not the least, there is,” SILENT in LISTEN”. In a polarized world, we need to come from a place of empathy to listen to each other and make space for listening.

The advice provided in this list is placing all of the onus on you handling the other person's behaviour—but it's also important to recognize whether someone is being "difficult" in a way where you need to learn to understand and/or work around their behaviour, vs. crossing the line into creating a toxic workplace environment or harassment.

In my experience, it's important to put yourself in the other persons shoes and try to see things from their perspective without judgement. Trust isn't built overnight, but showing genuine interest in learning about what motivates the other person and potential challenges they are currently dealing with will go a long way to building repour. Really listen.

Fire them. Do it quickly, unless they are giga brains who can 100x code in which case fire everyone else. With the money you save buy Bitcoin.

In the words of the great orator and philosopher TED Lasso - 'Be curious, not judgmental.' ( Walt Whitman.) This provides a perfect perspective and a potential enabler to building resilience. By being curious in understanding why co-workers are being difficult helps to create a more positive engagement and reduces personal frustration/internalization that you are the problem. This creates more of a growth mindset and being open to understanding better other peoples perspectives.

Often, while giving tough messages there is a tendency to sugar-coat the message or beat around the bush, skirting the main point to be communicated. It is important, while giving tough messages, that we LAND the point first and do it in a respectful, calm and assertive way. Your own emotional maturity will be tested in such situations but it is important to maintain your balance during such interactions.

Be direct with your feedback, share your intention first to avoid any second guessing. Trust is “the” most powerful part in effective communication. To be able to do that once again giving detailed content prior to your feedback/comms will be super helpful. Never sugar coat. I suggest Radical Candor book

Notice where your point does not seem to be coming through. Is there a reason for that? It is not uncommon to have to repeat yourself many times in different ways to be fully understood. It also is important that you are consistent in your message and unwavering.

As a matter of fact when an assignment was split into smaller tasks and provided to such peers, that paved way to provide constant feedback and also for peers who were perceived as resilient it helped them to focus on one issue at hand and they could indeed perform better. This also helped in us to build team bonding.

With difficult coworkers- listen to respond Vs react to their concerns. I would also advice having facts/data to convince them of your idea and bring them along the journey. This takes away- feelings and has the data to justify the WHY!Try and have dinner/lunch meetings with difficult co-workers vs. remote meetings. Trust takes time, but you will get there

Stay Calm: Maintain your composure in challenging situations.Try not to react impulsively. Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to protect your well-being. Communicate assertively if someone crosses those boundaries. Focus on Solutions: Instead of dwelling on the problem, focus on finding constructive solutions. Seek Support: Talk to a trusted colleague, mentor, or supervisor for advice and support. Don't hesitate to seek help when needed Maintain Perspective: difficult coworkers are just one aspect of your professional life. Focus on the bigger picture and your long-term goals. Know When to Escalate: If the situation becomes unbearable or affects your well-being, don't hesitate to escalate the issue to HR or higher management

Staying true to your personal and professional values, even in challenging situations, is a crucial act of resilience. In the workplace, resilience means maintaining high productivity despite facing difficulties. Balancing your schedule allows you to meet and exceed your responsibilities. Building resilience at work is about ensuring a fulfilling work experience. I've personally experienced workplace bullying that has affected my health. I used to feel voiceless and kept silent until I couldn't take it anymore. Setting and maintaining clear boundaries is powerful, like building a protective fence around your professional well-being.

1. Capabilities & skils of the employees Plays a crucial role here. 2. interpersonal skills plays major role. 3. if you don't help others, you can't expect vice versa. 4. its ok to fail but Learning from the failure is important. 5. if you do the same thing, again & again, you will get the same result. So be innovative in the approach.

Be direct but respectful. Identify specifically the behaviour that is not appropriate without attaching the behaviour as inherent personality. If you label a person you can never win the situation. People will often deny, defend, or detract the primary direct message which is usually hurtful to their self esteem. Instead of arguing minutia simply say “I can respect the fact you don’t share my perspective. We all have a right to our own point of view. But regardless of your point of view, the problem is perception is people’s reality. Your point of view and mine are not aligned. If you don’t want me to hold onto my current point of view then what can you do to turn it around?

Boundaries are often framed in the realm of difficulty or frustration, hence, the "difficult coworker". Walk with me here; whether it be the ubiquitous sports analogy or its close cousin working out, boundaries matter and are helpful. Ex: whatever the sport (basketball, football, baseball, tennis, you name it), boundaries help set the rulings, denote clear lines of demarcation, and while argued about, are generally accepted by all. In other words, boundaries are standards. If a ball goes out of bounds, we accept it (maybe with instant replay lol), but my point is, it's a standard. Once we view our personal and workforce lives accordingly, it gets better. Until next time, eat up! #MarlonMentors #MarlonsMeals

It is important to understand the pressures that are making the co-worker act / react in a manner that is creating tension. I recommend quick verbal communication with people operating around that co-worker before diving into a response. Nothing on email as that has a habit of inflaming situations. Talk and discuss. By bridging the gap to the co-workers domain, often you will find that there are similarities in pain and a consensual solution is therefore possible. If on the other hand you find no bridges and a conflict necessary to resolve then diplomacy is needed. Reaching out to other co-workers within the decision tree is then essential to influence an outcome and to defuse things. Always research first and then calculate your response.

When dealing with narcissistic colleagues, it's essential to stand your ground and DOCUMENT their behavior. Write it down in an email, confide in your friends and family, and tell your therapist so you are heard. Politely but firmly communicate your limits, clarifying that certain behaviors won't be tolerated. Boundaries help filter out toxic elements while nurturing positive interactions. Dealing with egotistical colleagues requires a unique blend of assertiveness and diplomacy. Resilience is about thriving amid these challenges, not just enduring them.

In interactions with colleagues or team members, it's crucial to select your words thoughtfully and carefully. After discussions, document key details to ensure you've captured information for future reference. In confrontational scenarios, individuals, including yourself, may perceive and interpret information differently. Prior to concluding a meeting or conversation, confirm a shared understanding through clear communication. Emphasize clarity in your speech, attentively listen to concerns from all parties involved, consider any mitigating factors, and maintain a respectful tone.

I see feedback always as a present. Nowadays, feedback is given less and it provides plenty of opportunity to see where you or your team can improve. Without feedback, how are we supposed to do things better or be better humans

One of the great aspects when working with a difficult coworker is to ask support from trusted colleagues, mentors, or supervisors. Discussing our challenges with others can provide perspective and helpful advice on how to address difficult coworker dynamics.

I'm a strong believer that most individuals in an organization want to perform even if it doesn't look so from the outside. Therefore as a leader it is important to understand roadblocks and challenges in their way and support them in finding ways to overcome them by themselves.

Dealing with difficult, non-communicative or obstructive colleagues or bosses will test your communication skills like nothing else. People have their own agendas, preferences and expectations and this is where true leadership skills are built. As a leader you have to find a common objective, set clear boundaries and be open to be part of a feed back loop where you can continually improve too from the feedback of those who work with you at all levels. Not easy to do but worth it as a learning experience. Often people who make the loudest noise can’t articulate what the underlying causes are - so it’s up your you to delve for the real issues and ask them what solution they would propose to solve any negativity.

I've found that my interactions with challenging team members are most successful when: 1. I grasp the unique contributions they bring to the team and empathize with the challenges they encounter. 2. I engage in open communication with the team, demonstrating a genuine willingness to learn and adapt. 3. Recognizing and celebrating successes is crucial. Failing to acknowledge the achievements of team members will undermine positive growth within the team and diminish morale.

Identify key positive traits of coworkers that can directly contribute to business objectives. Capitalize and measure progress while encouraging & appreciating good results.

Focus on the positive is an underrated super power. 15 yrs ago, I had a co-worker that couldn't stand me (idk why). This co-worker would walk by my desk multiple times a day. They would purposely avoid eye contact and conversation. They held the ???? to the implementation schedule & were deprioritizing my teams deals. The negative impact was massive & as a manager, I had to solve this problem. I found out from asking around this co-worker adored their 2-year old niece. I also had a niece around the same age. I started stopping by this co-workers desk daily, asking about her niece & shared stories about mine. These daily conversations helped us find commonality. I think this also humanized my team & they ended up asking to join us later.

Self-care is not a hard thing to do, but it does take time and dedication. Set a schedule, and keep to it. Block out time in your day, and your calendar, to complete some self-care actions. We all have an internal clock that is telling us to do something, listen to that clock, but also avoid hitting the snooze button. Simple steps you can take include, taking the longer path back to the desk from the coffee machine, taking calls in a standing position, walking outside for 10-30 minutes for lunch, scheduling lunch times and keeping that time sacred, just to name a few. Self-care is also setting some daily goals, and keeping track of them. Also keeping track of the number of times you need to reschedule or re-prioritize, will help.

Box breathing. Look for Mark Devine’s videos. Former Navy Seal. Helps you not get triggered. He calls it “the most important thing he learned in Seal training”

One thing I've found to be helpful is taking a 10-minute break and practicing a bit of meditation with breath work. A simple 10-minute break, especially prior to a conversation or meeting that I know might get contentious, makes a huge difference and helps me to be present.

I am ultimately responsible for my well-being, especially when dealing with challenging situations. Managing my emotions is crucial in avoiding unnecessary conflicts and creating a positive work environment. I've noticed that co-workers who are difficult to work with often express their own fears and emotions through their behavior. To avoid getting caught up in their negativity, I simply remind myself to detach from their words. I've found that practising mindful breathing and grounding exercises can be effective ways to stay centred in difficult situations.

Practicing self-care is the final step in building resilience. It involves nurturing your physical, mental, and emotional health, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and well-being. Self-care is key to managing stress, emotions, and energy, preventing burnout and exhaustion. It helps you keep your balance, perspective, and purpose, making work and life more enjoyable.

Couple of things I found helpful: the very first thing, don’t be trapped in a mindset of taking it personal or playing victim, understand it is a difficult situation, look for common interest, there could be something useful that you can offer for this business relationship to take a different turn and remember that difficult goes both ways, you could be difficult in this relationship too so look for solutions on both sides

Use the interactions as opportunities to practice improving listening skills. A lot times when you go into a situation with a bias you aren’t as receptive to hearing messages as they they are intended.

Execs can help prevent or mitigate negative situations in their company by cultivating a strong, positive company culture. A positive workplace culture fosters higher employee engagement and facilitates open communication. One great company core value is to "let the data decide." This principle helps employees to be more objective, less biased, and make better choices. When leaders focus on data instead of just opinions or guesses, they build a transparency and trust in the workplace. This method gives team members confidence as it relies on real facts and clear thinking. It reduces the chances of disagreements that can happen when decisions are based on personal views, leading to a cooperative and effective work environment.

I would also kill them with kindness. If they actually hate you it will be ever more obvious to everyone around them which reflects only on them. I once had a first time manager who I consistently praised and she became my biggest advocate in no time.

Certainly! Developing resilience when working with difficult coworkers involves focusing on your own mindset, maintaining a positive outlook, and cultivating effective communication skills. By approaching challenges with a constructive attitude and seeking solutions, you can foster a resilient mindset that enables you to navigate workplace difficulties with grace and professionalism.