How can you build rapport with someone who is critical?

1 Listen actively

The first step to building rapport is to listen actively to what the other person is saying. Active listening means paying attention, showing interest, and reflecting back what you hear. It also means avoiding interruptions, distractions, and defensive reactions. By listening actively, you can show respect, empathy, and curiosity. You can also identify the main points, the emotions, and the underlying needs of the other person.

2 Acknowledge and validate

The second step to building rapport is to acknowledge and validate the other person's perspective. Acknowledging means expressing that you understand what they are saying and feeling. Validating means showing that you respect their opinions and emotions, even if you don't agree with them. You can use phrases like "I see where you're coming from", "I appreciate your feedback", or "I can imagine how you feel". By acknowledging and validating, you can reduce defensiveness, build trust, and create a common ground.

3 Ask open-ended questions

The third step to building rapport is to ask open-ended questions that invite the other person to share more details, insights, or suggestions. Open-ended questions are those that cannot be answered with a yes or no, and that start with words like who, what, where, when, why, or how. By asking open-ended questions, you can demonstrate interest, curiosity, and openness. You can also clarify misunderstandings, explore solutions, or discover new opportunities.

4 Share your perspective

The fourth step to building rapport is to share your perspective in a respectful and constructive way. Sharing your perspective means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in relation to the topic. It also means using "I" statements, avoiding blame or judgment, and providing specific examples or evidence. By sharing your perspective, you can communicate your value, your goals, and your boundaries. You can also show your willingness to collaborate, compromise, or learn.

5 Appreciate and thank

The fifth step to building rapport is to appreciate and thank the other person for their time, their input, or their feedback. Appreciating means expressing gratitude for what they have done or said that was helpful, useful, or positive. Thanking means showing recognition for their effort, their contribution, or their support. By appreciating and thanking, you can reinforce rapport, boost confidence, and strengthen the relationship.

6 Follow up and follow through

The sixth and final step to building rapport is to follow up and follow through on any actions, agreements, or commitments that resulted from the conversation. Following up means checking in with the other person to see how they are doing, to share updates, or to ask for feedback. Following through means delivering on your promises, meeting your deadlines, or making changes based on the feedback. By following up and following through, you can show reliability, consistency, and respect. You can also create opportunities for further rapport building and collaboration.